FLASHBACK 1982

"god forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes"
i have mrs boulton for an english class. i don't remember much about the "english" she taught, but i do remember she spent a lot of time discussing stereotypes. not all black people can dance (example-have you ever seen president obama dance? it's not pretty). not all asians have kung fu powers (well...except for mr miyagi...that dude is bad a$$!!). not all gays use track lighting (sorry any character from "steel magnolias"). and, most importantly, not all blondes are dumb (yours truly is a natural blonde and i don't climb trees to rake leaves). these lessons have stuck with me, and i try very hard not to judge people by their race, religion, sexual orientation, hair color (!), etc.
FLASH FORWARD 2002
in april, i received a phone call from the grandfather of noah's best friend. would i like to fill in for his receptionist when she's out? sure! a little pocket change working a few days a month, in a senior center, sounds awesome. turns out, it was a few days a week because she had a lot of health problems. that led to a full time position scheduling in-home aides and cna's for the home care department. and that led to a promotion, managing the medicaid budget for a program that allows disabled adults and children to receive nursing home care in their own homes. i loved my jobs. all of them. 
FLASH FORWARD today
my experience has led to a HUMONGOUS pet peeve. i cannot stand...repeat...CANNOT STAND...when people stereotype people who are on government assistance. you hear it all the time. "people on welfare abuse the system". "people on assistance are lazy". "people on assistance are drug abusers". oh, it's true. SOME people on assistance fit in one, or all, of these categories. everyday, someone on assistance is driving a nice car, carrying an iphone, or selling their food stamps for drug money. but i will argue that these people are just the vocal minority. most of the people on assistance are actually trying hard to get themselves out of the system. the silent majority. these are the people that get up every morning and go job hunting, trying to better their situation. these are the people that are going to school, trying to increase their odds of getting a job that will afford them the ability to get off assistance. 
but let me tell you a story of one of those people driving a nice car, carrying a decent cell phone (not an iphone, because they weren't available at all companies), and dressing like a fashionista. she worked with me. her car? i sold it to her so she could get to work. and when i say sold, i mean she paid me when she could. it was not a great car but it LOOKED like a great car. her cell phone? i gave her mine when i got an upgrade, and added her to my plan. she paid the $10 charge for the added line. and her clothes? she shopped at goodwill and i gave her clothes that i never wore. and if someone bought me something in the wrong size, or a color i was not fond of, i would give them to her instead of returning them to the store. why would i do all this? because her job didn't pay much and, contrary to popular belief, the "assistance" people get is not truly enough for the average american to live off of (did you know that the average food stamp benefit in the state of ohio is only $139.87 per month! how much do you spend on food each month?). she needed that car to get to work. her job required her to travel to people's homes and everyone should have a cell phone for emergencies. and every girl should feel like a fashionista. 
i am not telling you this story so that you can say "wow...you're an awesome person!". i am telling you this story so that, next time you're in line at kroger and you see that person paying with food stamps, talking on her cell, and wearing designer jeans, maybe you'll remember. maybe you'll remember that someone may have given her that cell phone. maybe someone gave her those designer jeans. and maybe someone helped her buy that car. and maybe, just maybe, when you aren't looking, she's working really hard to get herself off that assistance. 

^the girls of the doa^

              

 

^okay...sometimes i didn't work too hard^