FLASHBACK 1977/78?

"who ya' gonna call?....."
my great~grandpa dies. i adore him...but as far back as i can remember, he was in a wheelchair and then a hospital bed, so i can't say i'm surprised. still, i'm worried about him. who will take care of him in the after~life? my great~grandma is still alive. won't he be lonely without us? so, i'm in bed, trying to sleep but worrying...and there he is...at the foot of my bed. gg "don't worry about me...i'll be fine" me "MAMA!!!!!!!!" gg "it's okay..." me: "DADDY!!!!!!!!". the parents come running. i tell them what happened. "oh, you're just upset. you just saw what you wanted to see." blah blah blah...
FLASH FORWARD 1981(ish)
mama and daddy are out doing whatever it is old people do. my lil bro is out playing little brother games with his little friends. it's just me...and kat...and my german shepard, kacy (look...i don't know how my parents spelled it, i spelled it this way so i could sing the radio station jingle to her: k~a~c~y port hueneme!). so, the 3 of us are in the kitchen, planning our night when we hear a toilet flush. what?!! then we hear someone clanging around in the basement. remember how i said it was just the 3 of us? just like a movie...the 2 dumb blonds and the dog go into the basement instead of getting out of the house. there is nothing there. and no evidence that anyone was ever there. as we get to the top of the steps...FLUSH...the basement toilet flushes. ummmmmmm...."that toilet doesn't even work, kat! it doesn't even have water in it!!!!!!!" AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! the parents think we're crazy.
FLASH FORWARD 1998~2009
we've bought a new house. really, it's just me and my boys...the ex works away from home. we see a lot of shadows in our peripheral vision. we hear a lot of noises. dustin hears someone tapping his feet to "build me up buttercup". i hear someone whistling the tune to "young folks". it's not scary, just life. his name is ted...we know this because, at one point, we asked a ouija board. ted likes to walk past our front window and make us believe someone is coming for a visit. he likes to sit in our rocking chairs on the porch. at first he is just a shadow...but it doesn't take him long to show me a human form: i come into the living room and i see a figure walk past the front window...tall, skinny, tan and wearing a white t~shirt...it looks like houseman and i'm super excited to see him back from college...i run to the door...no one is there...
FLASH FORWARD 2007
i take a tour of eastern state penitentiary in philadelphia. i know it's haunted, but it's broad daylight.  it's 95 degrees in the shade, and you can feel the humidity in the old prison. i'm darting in and out of cells, sensing nothing. i'm bored now...they all look the same. i go in one last cell. i feel like someone is breathing down my neck. i feel like i can't breathe. i back out slowly. i bump right into blue~eyes. he grabs my arms to steady me "my god girl! you are freezing!!". ummmmmm....in case you were wondering, that place is haunted.
FLASH FORWARD 2012
betsy is giving the grandboy a bath. he is giggling and splashing and having a ball. i watch from the doorway. "hey!" i hear in my left ear, even feeling the breath on my neck. i turn around to hug mamabird...there is no one there. i look in the dark bedrooms, thinking she is now hiding from me and plans on scaring me, they're empty. betsy looks at me like i'm crazy. i know i'm not. the next day, betsy is positive that she turned off all the lights and locked all the doors when she left for work. she gets home to find the front door unlocked and the hall light on. coincidence? i don't think so.
1 in 3 people believe in ghosts. 23% claim to have seen, or been in the presence of, a ghost. i know i am one of the 23%. i KNOW i've seen a ghost. but today is not about the people that believe. today is international skeptics day. today is a day for you to give in to all the things you are unsure exists and celebrate them: ghosts, ufo's, santa claus, the great pumpkin....BELIEVE...even if it's just for today.

       

 

                                ^me and kacy...and the haunted house i grew up in...DO NOT let looks fool you^

                     

^a 2nd trip to eastern state...very successful^

^the long front porch ted liked^

^monkeyboy...what's that beside him?^

FLASHBACK 1990

"i'm too sexy for my shirt...so sexy it hurts..."
we are having a party for my ex's co-workers. steaks on the grill. wine and beer flowing. i'm meeting a lot of new people. the kids are little. cody's a baby...he CAN'T say anything. noah is shy...he WON'T say anything.  dustin?  dustin has been talking since birth. dustin is not shy. dustin greets every single person that walks thru the door with a warm smile and a very firm (for a 3 year old) handshake. everybody thinks he is just adorable. in walks the boss and his wife. just like everybody else, they get a smile, a handshake, a "nice to meet you". the wife bends down to toddler level "well...aren't you the politest young man?!" d "you are really ugly! and you have a huge nose! are you a witch?!!". and, just like that, the party's over. okay. not OVER. but...well...i wish it was over.
FLASH FORWARD today
there are 6 of us in orientation...there are supposed to be 7...the instructor, we'll call her sally, starts because...well...it's not our fault that someone is late. 45 minutes into the session, he walks in. we'll call him d~bag. why? because he is, in fact, a d~bag.  he notices the instructor talking a lot about selling...d "i'm not on the sales team" s "i understand, but you will need a lot of this information in support, you will get stopped by customers and you will need to be able to answer their questions"...d~bag rolls his eyes and gives the impression that all this is beneath him (turns out he is a stock boy). we are taking a short break and sally thinks d~bag looks very familiar  s "do i know you? you look familiar?" d "no, but you may know my sister...she's A LOT older" s "a lot older than??" d "a lot older than me...probably your age." i have to take a second look at d~bag. he looks, roughly, 40 years old. i look at sally. she's a little heavy set...she wears glasses...maybe she's 30? sally looks stunned. "i'm only 28! how old did you think i was?!!!" d~bag "like 35...40". wait?! what?! how old is d~bag that 35 or 40 is way older, because i was sure he was 40?! sally is clearly insulted...and hurt...d "you do look 35...". dude...stop talking.

we've all been on one, or both, ends of these situations. we've all thought someone was older than they were...or some innocent little kid pointed out a huge zit in the middle of our forehead. it's SUPER embarrassing, either way...unless your name is d~bag and you think it's your duty to insult people. so here are a few rules, especially for men, when faced with these situations:

#1~always guess our age to be younger. we know how old we are and we are all trying to stop the process. the first step in avoiding a throat punch is to not put us in an age range...but if cornered in to providing an age...ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS go younger.
#2~never tell us we look fat "in this dress". maybe we DO look fat "in this dress" but we don't want to KNOW that. do you need to find a way to make us change out of "this dress"? oh yeah. you do! but DO NOT...i repeat...DO NOT...tells us we look fat. you could say "i don't really like that color on you" or "i think it's gonna get cold, maybe you should wear jeans?" but don't you dare say we look fat cuz...THROAT PUNCH!!
#3~please do not point out the obvious...do you think we don't notice the big zit in the middle of our forehead? or that genetics played a cruel joke and gave us witch hazel's nose?  oh we notice!! we notice!! and, if you're brave enough to say something, you must be brave enough to take a THROAT PUNCH!!
and, most important, (and what all women know and all men screw up)
#4~never never...never never never never...never ever...ask a woman if she's pregnant. THROAT PUNCH!! even if she is....














good luck and remember, don't be a d~bag...

FLASHBACK july/august 2009

"why can't we be friends? why can't we be friends? why can't we be friends? why can't we be friends?"
i'm perfectly content. living in my own little world. in a long distance relationship with bk. i'm still fairly new to facebook, but i know one thing. i do not pay attention to the number of friends i have. i notice that cody has 1,178 friends on facebook. how is that even possible? does he even KNOW 1,178 people? no way? right?! i know i'm right. i think (?).
so now i'm drinking coffee and scrolling thru my news feed and i see a friend of mine...a friend that fancies herself somewhat of a photographer...has changed her profile picture. it's a thumbnail and i'm blind, so i click it. hmmmmm...why is it taking me to her "info" page instead of her wall? and why does it say "request friend" instead of "friends"? OH...MY...GAWD!! she UNFRIENDED me! SHE unfriended ME!! how could she unfriend me?! doesn't she know who i am?! i'm cardinal!! everybody LOVES cardinal!! i'm disgusted! for about 5 minutes. then, i remember how i'm not in high school. i remember how i haven't even seen this chick SINCE high school. i remember we weren't even really friends in high school and her act of "unfriending" me literally has zero impact on my life.
FLASH FORWARD may/june 2012
phillip phillips has just won american idol and i am STOKED! and, because i told everyone i knew he was the winner after the first audition episode, i proudly boast on facebook "PHILLIP PHILLIPS!!!! who called it?!!". after a few snarky comments from friends about what a dork i was, someone wants to argue about why a girl didn't win. i don't care...i liked phillip phillips and i wanted him to win...accomplished. but (s)he really wants to keep talking about it and my phone is exploding with notifications. and, if my phone is exploding with notifications, so are the phones of my other friends that commented. very annoying. "dude!" (i call everybody dude...men...women...children...animals) "dude! seriously...it doesn't matter...i'm done!"...blah blah blah..."dude! what part of 'i am done' don't you understand?!"...blah blah blah. one key stroke...UNFRIENDED.
i get an email from a mutual friend. "dude wants you to know that (s)he is very sorry if the joking got out of hand"...what?  it seems dude doesn't understand why dude was unfriended. why was dude unfriended, you ask? don't you respect that everyone has different opinions, you say? i do respect other people's opinions...true statement...but, in return, i expect them to respect mine. dude was unfriended because i asked dude to stop blowing up my phone and dude continued. dude was unfriended because dude wanted me to respect dude's opinion, but didn't want to return the favor. dude was unfriended because dude revealed his or herself to be...an a$$hole.
FLASH FORWARD today
this morning, while sipping coffee and scrolling thru the newsfeed, i see a friend's status. seems this friend was unfriended by someone (s)he has know for 35 years. there was a difference of opinion, politically. there is a lot of that going on *click here to see a previous post on THAT topic* (s)he had the right attitude..."not my loss".
so, cardinal, do you have any tips on the whole "unfriending" situation? SOOOO glad you asked!! as a matter of fact...I DO!!!

suggestions on how NOT to be unfriended:

• be respectful of your friends' opinions. you can disagree, just don't let it get heated. it's easy to let things get out of hand on social media because you can't see those little telltale signs that your friend is getting upset. 
• choose your words carefully when posting. remember, when posting a status update or comment, that people are reading your words, they aren't hearing them. something you type, dripping in sarcasm, might come across as mean and hurtful to your reader.
• don't be a debbie downer. nobody wants to read about how horrible your life is every single day. this might cause them to unfriend you.
• most importantly...don't be an a$$hole. if someone says "please stop requesting me to play games" or "please stop posting these ridiculous cat pictures on my wall", then stop. to do otherwise would, in fact, make you an a$$hole.

suggestions on whether or not to unfriend:

• ask yourself does this friendship affect your real world life. i mean...do you see this person at work? school? live next door? or is this person a profile pic and words on a screen? not to seem uncaring, but some of our facebook friends are people we will never have contact with outside of facebook. if they upset or annoy you on the regular, and you have no other connection than facebook, do not be afraid to cut the cord. there isn't a contest to see who can have the most facebook friends. well, unless you are going for the guiness world record.
• did this person reveal themselves to be an a$$hole? unfriend...unfriend...unfriend...nobody needs THAT in their life.

suggestions on how to handle being unfriended:

• look at what you may have done to be unfriended. were you sending game requests to people that asked you to stop? were you posting ridiculous cat pictures to my wall? are you an a$$hole? then stop it. stop it or you will be unfriended by other people and you'll be in the guiness book of world records for having the fewest facebook friends, and THAT is just embarrassing. 
• get over it. seriously. like my friend said...not your loss. you are an awesome person, and their life just got worse by cutting you out of it, even if it is "virtual". unless, of course, you are an a$$hole.

HAPPY FACEBOOKING!!!

                                            

FLASHBACK easter 2012

"here comes peter cottontail..."
bk and i have a quiet easter sunday, just the two of us. we really want a spiral sliced ham, but they don't make them small enough for two. we have a TON left over. what to do? what to do? i jump on pinterest looking for a new recipe. SUCCESS!!! it was amazingly delicious, though not low calorie! and so easy. you really can't screw it up! have i mentioned i love pinterest?

ingredients:

2 cups potatoes, cubed
2 cups cooked ham, cubed
1 (15.25 oz) can whole kernal corn, drained
1/4 cup minced parsley (optional)
1/4 cup butter
1 tbsp chopped onion
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1 3/4 cups milk
1/8 tsp ground black pepper
4 oz shredded cheese of your choosing

preheat oven to 350 degrees F 
bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. add potatoes and cook until tender but still firm, about 15 minutes. drain and cool.
combine potatoes, ham, corn and parsley; set aside. in a saucepan saute onion in butter for 2 minutes, stir in flour until blended well. gradually add milk and pepper. bring to a boil. cook and stir for 2 minutes. remove from heat and pour over the ham mixture. stir to mix well.
pour into greased 11x7 baking dish. cover and bake for 25 minutes. uncover, sprinkle with cheese and bake 5 to 10 minutes longer until cheese melts.

5 servings

FLASH FORWARD today
so...it's october and pumpkins are in the air. well...bk and i need to have pumpkin on our taste buds. pumpkin ice cream. pumpkin coffee. pumpkin. pumpkin. pumpkin. so i jump on pinterest looking for a recipe. have a mentioned i love pinterest?
this time was different...a disaster of monumental proportions!!! okay. not quite a disaster...it was, in fact, edible. but bleck!!! all we tasted was angel food cake, no pumpkin, no cream cheese

ingredients:

1 box angel food cake mix- the 1 step kind
1 15oz can Pumpkin
3/4 Cup water
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 8oz pkg. reduced fat cream cheese
-few tablespoons of water, to be mixed with cream cheese

mix angel food cake, pumpkin, cinnamon, and water in mixing bowl. blend cheese with a few tbsps water until smooth. in a 9x13 pyrex dish- sprayed with pam-  add half of the cake –pumpkin mix. then smooth it out with a rubber spatula. drizzle half of the cream cheese over the top of it and take a small spatula to smooth it over the top. add remaining cake-pumpkin mix & also the remaining cream cheese just making layers. finally take a butter knife- stick it into the mix and go back & forth over the top of the cake making figure “8’s” - to blend it a bit. bake for 35 minutes at 375 degrees.

my plan to make it better? replace angel food cake with spice cake mix...us a 30 oz can pumpkin...add 1/2 tsp nutmeg...double the cream cheese mixture. basically, my *easy spiced pumpkin cookie* recipe with cream cheese...can't go wrong...can it? 

           

*need the easy spiced pumpkin cookie recipe...you will find it on the "bird food" page*

FLASHBACK 1990

"seasons don't fear the reaper...nor do the wind, or the sun or the rain"
clowns...i've never really liked clowns. but i could tolerate their existence. bozo. ronald mcdonald. even, as an adult, krusty the clown. then it happened. i mean IT happened. stephen king's "it" came on tv shattering 25 years of ignorant bliss. 25 years of believing clowns were harmless beings that just wanted to make you laugh, make you a balloon animal, or sell you a hamburger. no. now i am acutely aware that clowns are evil, demented spawns of satan intent on eating your soul. i can't even look at ronald mcdonald the same. 
FLASH FORWARD halloween 2006
cody's school holds an annual halloween carnival. games. bake sales. costume contests. a haunted trail. he comes to my office and gets some cash for his costume. he tells me he has no idea what he's going to be. as i'm cooking dinner that evening, i get that creepy feeling. oh, you know it. that feeling that you're being watched. i look over and there it is. a killer clown. glaring at me. arms folded across it's chest. my gut says it's cody...don't scream...don't...scream. suddenly...out of flippin' nowhere!!...another set of arms come out of this freak as it chases me around the house!! okay...okay! fine!! i screamed!! okay!! i freakin' screamed!! 
FLASH FORWARD halloween 2010
off to the king's island halloween haunt with the lil bro and family. i'm not excited...well i am buuuttt...for some reason the creatures that go bump in the night are attracted to me like june bugs to a porch light. the park is foggy and dark and creepy. since emma is the youngest, we let her pick the first haunt...carnevil. you have GOT to be kidding me?!!!! i'm not going in there. there are clowns in there. i am NOT going in there. my 8 year old niece looks at me...with those eyes. i'm going in there. 
FLASH FORWARD today
i faced my fear and survived my trip through carnevil. and i've faced a few other fears in the past few years, as well. bk and bridgette held me down and forced me to swallow a spoonful of peanut butter to cure hiccups. it worked, although i believe it was the fear of dying with a mouthful peanut butter. and i sliced the whole tip of my finger off. well...maybe not the WHOLE tip...only a sliver. but it felt like the whole tip. and i'm not sure if it counts as facing a fear, because i turned green...almost fainted...and bk had to bandage me up. 
today is national face your fears day. what's your biggest fear? and are you brave enough to face it?!!

^the kids of the academy^

^fear number 2^

^fear number 3^

do one thing every day that scares you~eleanor roosevelt

FLASHBACK 1965

"dear sir or madam, will you read my book? it took me years to write, will you take a look?"...
the day i was born, grandma marge pulled out a dr. suess book and made me read it. okay. OKAY...i may have just made that up. i did. i literally just made that up. but it's not that far-fetched.  i WAS reading before i entered kindergarten. and grandma marge and dr. suess were to blame. or thank. "one fish two fish red fish blue fish"...."green eggs and ham"..."the cat in the hat"...i was reading them all. then, at 10 (we'll say 10 because i really don't remember how old i was...could have been 5 or 6?), she introduced me to "alice in wonderland". grandma marge instilled a love of reading that continues to this day.
FLASH FORWARD 1980 something
american lit. a class we all had to take in high school. snoozefest, right? right. up until the moment they assigned harper lee's "to kill a mockingbird". i was sure i was going to hate this book. why wouldn't i hate a book written 20 some years ago set in the great depression? i loved this book. i mean i LOVED this book. it is one of 3 books i read year after year. when i pick it up, i don't want to put it down.
FLASH FORWARD summer 2001
dustin had a summer reading assignment..."raisin in the sun". in the search for this book, i run across the classics section at barnes and noble. that's when i see it...bram stoker's dracula. as a fan of all things spooky, i figure i should read about the original vampire. i thought i knew dracula...i mean, i had seen ALL the movies. nope. dracula is so much more than a universal studios monster. it is a story about good versus evil. and how good must always triumph. it is my 3rd favorite book. and one i read year after year after year.
FLASH FORWARD today
october 7~13 is great books week. this year nat'l assoc of independent writers and editors have chosen to honor victor hugo's "les miserables". but you don't have to read that to celebrate the week. you can honor any book you feel is great, from "green eggs and ham" to "dracula". it doesn't matter what you read...just READ!!

FLASHBACK 2006

"in my life i've loved them all..."
i used to make these little trips to philadelphia. every trip ended in a stop at one the many local diners. don't ask me which one, because i don't remember the name and they are kind of interchangeable. loud, colorful waitresses with teased hair and a lot of make-up. glass cabinets full of pies with meringue that nearly touches the ceiling. the best coffee in the history of coffee...ever (yes...they DO all have it...i can't explain). the same delicious food (well...with the exception of scrapple! i will never understand that one!!).
i see her on my first trip. a little, frail old lady. wrapped in 2 or 3 blankets. wearing every piece of clothing she owned. shielding herself from the wind along the side of the diner. i was told not to give her any money before i even said anything. i didn't listen. i gave her a hot cup of coffee and a muffin. i slipped her a 5. she was there every time i went. and every time i went she got a hot cup of coffee, a muffin, and a 5. but!! but!! she could have been a drug addict, or an alcoholic, or a lunatic, you say!!!??? maybe. but i saw a person who felt she didn't matter. and i saw her smile and kind eyes when, without saying a word, i told her she did.
FLASH FORWARD today
today is "you matter to me day". it's a day set aside to make sure that the people that matter to you KNOW they matter to you. your parents...your kids...your spouses or significant others...your friends. "awwww...they know they matter to me..." you say. really? are you sure? because if you never tell them (or, better yet, SHOW them) how can they really be sure? and you don't want someone you love to become that woman at the diner, wondering if (s)he ever mattered to anyone.
so today (and everyday, really) give them a call...or take them to lunch...or send them a card or letter. however you choose, let everyone that matters to you KNOW they matter.

a gallery of people that matter:

             

 

                               

 

               

 

             

 

     

 

                      

 

if you would like more information about "you matter to me day" click here