dragon: a mythical monster like a giant reptile. in european tradition the dragon is typically fire-breathing and tends to symbolize chaos or evil, whereas in east asia it is usually a beneficent symbol of fertility, associated with water and the heavens. just a quick list of my favorite dragons in honor of "appreciate a dragon" day: 1. puff the magic dragon
2. falkor (the never ending story)
3. elliot (pete's dragon)
4. smaug (j.r.r. tolkien's the hobbit)
5. the hungarian horntail (j.k. rowling's harry potter)
"let's watch the old year die with a fond good-bye...and our hopes as high as a kite...how can our love go wrong if we start the new year right?" it's new year's eve. time to bid adieu to the old and welcome the new. so, how do you make sure the new year will be more amazing than the last one? by following ancient superstitions, duh doy! these superstitions say what you do on new year's day, you will do all year long. be sure to do only things that make you happy and follow cardinal's rules for an awesome 2014:
make sure all your laundry and housecleaning are done new year's eve day. who wants to be washing clothes and cleaning house all year?!
do your cooking the day before, and be sure to cook the following: black~eyed peas (for luck), greens (for financial prosperity), and pork (because chickens scratch backwards, cows stand still, but pigs root forward guaranteeing you will move forward thru the new year).
nothing goes out of the house on new year's day, or you will be losing things all year long.
fill up the cupboards, fridge, and freezer the day before. if the cupboards are bare you'll be starving all year.
kiss someone you love at midnight to ensure affection all year long.
set a dollar bill outside on new year's eve and bring it in new year's day. this will ensure you have money coming in all year.
the first person that enters your home, on new year's, should be tall, dark, and good looking. no joke. so i will be sending the bk out the door at 11:59 and letting him walk in at midnight...
open your doors at midnight, to let out all the bad from the past year. and noise. make a lot of loud noise to scare off evil spirits.
so. spend today doing all these things, while you watch the walking dead marathon on amc, and you will have a bright and shiny 2014!
FLASHBACK a few weeks back
i get a phone call. "did you hear what blah blah blah did?" what?! no! "yeah. blah blah blah did yadda yadda yadda! and then this and that happened". omg. (you can insert any horrible gossip you like, it won't change the outcome of my story, or hurt my feelings).
FLASH FORWARD september 14, 2013
it's my typical morning. all's quiet, except for the bk taking an occasional deep breath, in his sleep. the only light is the glare from my computer. i scroll through a little facebook. a little twitter. and a lot of pinterest. and, then, i see it. blah blah blah, who had done the horrible~awful yadda yadda yadda is spending quite a bit of time talking about karma. what? dude!? you know karma's coming after you, right?! it annoys me, so i change my facebook status:
lots of people agree with me. the bk and i talk about it for a minute and i go on with my life. the next 20 minutes goes like this: i stub my toe, on the way to the kitchen *karma*. i start cooking bacon and i burn the first few pieces *karma*. i pour grits into the boiling water and, before i blink, they are blowing the lid off the pot *karma*. i make the perfect sunny~side up egg, and it sticks to the spatula when i am transferring it to the plate *karma*. i am grumbling. what is going on? "weren't you the one who said that when you wish bad karma on people it gets you, too?" ugh.
FLASH FORWARD today
i just wanted to remind everyone NOT to wish bad karma on people. always be kind. karma will get them when she's ready, but you don't want her coming after you in the meantime.
"yeah, fairies wear boots and you gotta believe me..." according to my grandma blair, "keep a pixie in your house and you'll always have good luck". and that tradition continues in her family. i, in fact, have pixies AND fairies. wait? there's a difference? yep. fairies have human~like skin and hair, are kind and love a celebration, and like to spend their time among the flowers. pixies have colorful skin and hair, are usually mischievous and rude, and love to pull pranks. however, both are quite magical. and that's important because today is international fairy day!! a day to embrace the possibilities of the unknown and believe in fairies...and pixies!! invite one in and enjoy the good luck (s)he brings!! a gallery of my favorite fairies:
looking for a few good fairies? might i suggest checking out mineralistic in philadelphia...my personal favorite shop on south street!!
"holiday, oh a holiday, and the best one of the year..." i post a lot of odd "holidays" here. "peanut butter cookie day". "barefoot day". "day of the zombie". so, i thought a day to celebrate the bk would be awesome. a day that everyone who knows and loves him can celebrate his existence. not the day of his birth...just the fact that he lives on this planet and is, as one friend put it, "da man". i thought it would take some work. it doesn't. i just have to declare it to be his day, and celebrate it. if i do this enough, it could catch on and be celebrated by people all over the country. you want to create your own holiday? here's how:
pick your date. try to avoid nationally recognized days. you don't want your holiday to be overshadowed by something like valentine's day, do you?
announce it publicly. i chose social media. twitter. facebook. those are your best options. you could even create a page on facebook totally dedicated to your holiday.
again, go public with the celebration. this is key if you want other people to begin celebrating your holiday.
repeat steps 2~4 year after year. eventually, it will catch on and others will join in the fun!
want to make it national? ugh. it literally takes an act of congress. you have to grab the attention of your local congress person. then, they have to make a proposal and get that on the congressional agenda and that can take years. literally years. boo.
^reds taking bp^
if you would like to participate in "celebrate the bk day", head out to your local pub on the third monday of june (this year happens to fall on this very day) and raise a glass to your bk!!
"you know i'll never be lonely...you're my only one and i love the things...i really love the things that you do...you're my best friend" FLASHBACK june 1, 1957 moniebird and jimmy get hitched. *56 years and 4 children later? still married* FLASH FORWARD november 14, 1964 bob and lana tie the knot. *48 years and 2 children later? still married* FLASH FORWARD july 22, 1995 queenie and jj head to vegas. * nearly 18 years and 2 spawn later? still married* FLASH FORWARD september 4, 2009 the bk and i move in together and begin a VERY committed relationship. *nearly 4 years later? still together* FLASH FORWARD july 3, 2010 danno and bridgey sneak off to gatlinburg. *3 years and working on the children later? still married* what's the secret, you ask? it's hard to really say but...i have a few ideas:
be best friends. best friends laugh together, confide in each other, and are always there for each other.
be kind to one another. even when you're mad. you don't have to fight dirty to get your point across. as jewel says "in the end, only kindness matters"...
talk to each other. talk to each other about EVERYTHING. the weather. sports. books. likes. dislikes. differences you're having. happy couples put everything out on the table and work to resolve their differences.
go out on double, even triple, dates. it can't just be about you two, all the time...every time. get out and enjoy the company of other strong, happy couples.
give 80% and expect 20%: a lesson my daddy taught me. it's important, even in relationships that aren't romantic. a good person always gives without expecting anything in return. *trust me. you will know when your partner is not giving 20% and that's when you go back to #3*
april is couples appreciation month. okay. it's a holiday made up by a company that wants you to spend money on spa items for your significant other. but, i say, take this month (every month, really) to appreciate the great couples around you. see what they're doing right and how they are keeping they're relationships strong. a gallery of happy couples:
"it's a new dawn...it's a new day...it's new life..." we have our annual new year's eve oyster roast. my ex~brother in~law is taking pics of everybody. two weeks later he gives me pics of my family. who is this fat chick drinking a yeungling and wearing my shades? OMG!!! that's me!!! i am embarrassed. i feel disgusting. and i vow to do something about it. i join weight watchers on line the very next day. i track every single piece of food i put in my mouth. the points values become second nature. i know what to order at fast food restaurants. i save my bonus points for the weekend so that i can go out and have a beer or two and not feel guilty. FLASH FORWARD january 2008 i am down 30 pounds. i feel better and i am excited. i am not an "exercise class" kind of gal. i like to do things at my own pace, and having to go at a scheduled time would drive me nuts. i buy wii fit. now i start exercising every day. my way. on my time. plus, it keeps track of my weight for me. and i love that the little wii character i create loses or gains weight as i do. FLASH FORWARD january 2009 i have lost another 30 pounds. i stop paying for weight watchers because i know what i can eat. and i continue working out with the wii fit. FLASH FORWARD september 2009 i've moved in with the bk. i leave the wii fit behind...the wii belonged to the boys. but i start walking with my sister in~law. we walk 8 miles, 3 days a week. FLASH FORWARD november 2009 the weather turns colder. my sister in~law gets a job. and the holidays start. it seems like the bk and i are at a party every night. slowly, my weight begins to creep back up. FLASH FORWARD today i haven't gained ALL the weight back. i have started and stopped weight watchers a few times and that has helped keep it from getting too out of control. but i KNOW i need to do something before it does. so, like millions of other americans, i have made a new year's resolution. to lose weight? nope. to be healthier. so, in our nest, gone are the processed foods. gone are cans of vegetables, replaced by FRESH, seasonal veggies. gone are white rice and white pastas, replaced by brown rice and whole wheat pastas. and out comes the wii and wii fit the bk bought me. and the walks resume, weather permitting. my goal? be healthier. be fitter. without worrying what the scale says. without worrying about the number on the tag of my jeans. but how will you keep this resolution, you ask? and what if your resolution didn't have anything to do with weight? studies show that 88% of new year's resolutions fail. so we all could use a little help keeping them. and fortunately...there's an app for that...
lose it by fit now : i, personally, use and love lose it...simply enter your weight and desired weight, and the rate you want to lose (lose it will not ALLOW you to lose more than 2 pounds per week, which is considered a healthy rate). lose it will then tell you how many calories a day you can consume. you eat what you want...enter it in lose it...and the app keeps track of your calories! *don't forget to track your exercise, as well. you need to consume the calories lose it set for you...any you burn during exercise need to be replenished or you risk losing weight too fast.* lose it is free although there is an upgrade available.
my last cigarette by mastersoft mobile solutions: so you want to quit smoking? this app is designed to help you do just that. enter your smoking habits and the app will inform you of how you're bettering your life through quitting. it will tell you how your lung function has improved since you quit...how many deaths, from smoking, since you quit...your increase in life expectancy. it will, also, provide you a daily motivational quote or medical fact. this app is not free...it costs a mere 99 cents.
best budget by maxwell software: face it...we all need to get ahold of our finances from time to time. this app lets you create budgets, view reports to see how you're doing, even set up budget reminders. i just downloaded this app...it's free and received 4 out of 4 stars.
and there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. and lo, the angel of the lord came upon them, and the glory of the lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. and the angel said unto them, "fear not: for behold, i bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. for unto you is born this day in the city of david a savior, which is christ the lord. and this shall be a sign unto you; ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger." and suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising god, and saying, "glory to god in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."... merry christmas!!
festivus is celebrated, for the first time, in celebration of writer dan o'keefe's first date with his future wife. it eventually became the family's way of protesting the pressures and commercialism of christmas and is celebrated on december 23. FLASH FORWARD 1997 daniel o'keefe, dan's son, incorporates the holiday into an episode of "seinfeld" and people all over the country embrace it! FLASH FORWARD december 22, 2012 i work retail. i work retail during the holidays. everybody warned me. everybody. warned. me. not to work retail during the holidays. "i know you! you're gonna want to punch people in the throat!" no i won't...don't be silly! "people are horrible!" nuh uh!! and they were wrong. most...not all...but most, of my customers have been amazing. until. until....3 days before christmas. now they're frantic. now they're demanding. now they're vicious and cruel. "i want to pay my bill." okay ma'am, how much would you like to pay? "all of it!! you people are so rude!! i'm paying it off and never using it again! i may never shop here!!" i'm so sorry ma'am, i wish there was some way i could help..."you can! you can tell them not to hire so many damn foreigners!! there is nothing i hate worse than a damn foreigner!!" *silence as i take her payment and feel horrible for the long line of foreigners that are ready to make purchases*..."you had a purse here two weeks ago...where is it?" describe it to me ma'am..."it's black...with a zipper" ummmmmm...."it looks just like this brown one, only it's black" we sold the last one and we won't be getting any new in...would you like me to see if another store has it? "yes...please! thank you!!" the closest store is in brooklyn..."can they ship it to me? i need it before christmas!!" ummmm....*okay. i am pretty magical and can get the customers ALMOST everything they want...but...BUT...it's 11:45p on a saturday night 3 days before christmas...it's not going to happen.* FLASH FORWARD today today is festivus..."a festivus for the rest of us"...and after the night i had i am all for protesting the commercialism and pressures of christmas. so, how exactly does one celebrate festivus?
get a festivus pole. it's just an unadorned aluminum pole...
prepare a festivus dinner...the meal is important for step 3...it should be turkey or ham followed by a pepperidge farm cake decorated with m&m's
the "airing of the grievances": this takes place during the meal. each member of the family takes turns lashing out at everyone for all the disappointments of the past year.
festivus miracles: a festivus miracle is an easily explainable event. example? you bump into me at the store..."what are YOU doing here?!" i work here. "it's a festivus miracle!!!"
feats of strength: after the festivus meal, the head of household chooses a challenger for the "feats of strength"...a wrestling match. festivus does not end until the head of household is pinned.
a silly and fun party idea as you prepare for the real deal...a mere 2 days away...
i've told this story before: like i have done countless other trips to philly, i have breakfast at a diner before heading to the airport. i give a hot cup of coffee, a donut, and 5 bucks to the homeless lady bundled in blankets beside the building. i'm paying it forward. FLASH FORWARD december 14, 2012 i am sitting in my living room...eating lunch...watching the local news. they begin talking about a school shooting. any school shooting is horrible, but this one. this one is different. far more devastating. i spend the rest of my day in tears as more and more news becomes available. 26 people are dead. 6 adults. 20 beautiful first graders. my heart is shattered. FLASH FORWARD december 15, 2012 as more information becomes available, facebook becomes a political soapbox for people...some screaming for gun control...others opposed to it...some people opening a debate about god in schools...i immediately close my computer. do these people have the right to discuss this? of course they do. but i have the right not to read it. this is not a time to argue politics...it's a time to grieve and pay respect to those who lost their lives. FLASH FORWARD december 18, 2012 the debates have subsided...people seem to understand it can wait a few days. now a new movement has begun. people on facebook and twitter are screaming "PAY IT FORWARD!!!!"...i'm proud of all my friends for pushing this movement. some of them are truly committed to it. the only thing that saddens me: why would it take a senseless act of violence to wake people up? shouldn't we ALWAYS be paying forward? need some ideas for paying forward? my first thought is: it should come from the heart...and it doesn't necessarily have to cost money...but here are some simple ideas:
over~tip your waiter/bartender/delivery driver
pay for a random person's dinner (in the drive~thru: the car behind you; in a restaurant: pick a random table)
leave a gift card on someone's windshield (grocery store, target, coffeehouse)
take a cup of coffee to your doorman or security guard at your office
give that homeless person your spare change WITHOUT questioning what (s)he might spend it on
give your time to a homeless shelter
go visit people in a nursing home
donate toys to toys for tots or your local children's hospital
bake cookies for your teachers, policemen, first responders
leave a brief note and money in a book in the bookstore or library
scrape all the windows in the parking lot before you go to work
buy a homeless person a blanket
give a stranger flowers
give a stranger candy (i suggest nothing with peanuts...you never know who might be allergic!)
let the person behind you in line go ahead of you, even if they have a HUGE cart full
pick an angel off the angel tree: get them everything on the list plus something fun
send a care package to a soldier...
leave quarters in all the gum ball machines at the store
take dog biscuits and cat treats to your local animal shelter
buy a weeks worth of groceries and give them to a needy family (you can find a family in need thru a local church or soup kitchen)
these are just a few simple ideas...i would love to hear any ideas you have...:)
^a check list if you want to participate in 26 acts of kindness or you could just do something everyday^
i apologize in advance: this IS gonna bring tears to your eyes
"jolly old st nicholas...lend your ear this way..." HISTORY LESSON!! st nicholas of myra. a greek christian bishop who is famous for his generous gifts to the poor...most notably, providing dowries to the three daughters of a pious christian so that they would not become prostitutes. dutch folklore describes him as a stately, serious man with white hair and a long beard. he keeps notes on children's behavior in a book. his feast is celebrated on december 6 with the exchange of gifts. FLASHBACK who knows? odin. the god of war and death. also of poetry and wisdom. legend says he rides an 8 legged horse, named sleipnir, that could leap great distances. children would set their boots, filled with straw...carrots...sugar...whatever 8 legged horses eat, by the chimney for odin's horse. odin would reward them by filling the boots with gifts or candy. FLASH FORWARD 16th century (ish) protestants change the gift giver from st nicholas to the christ child (christkindl) and the date for exchanging gifts becomes christmas eve. FLASH FORWARD 17th century father christmas. jolly, well-fed man with a beard in a long green robe. he is the embodiment of christmas cheer. FLASH FORWARD today santa claus. oh, you know him...he has a long white beard...he's a chubby little dude...he travels all over the world...in one night...on a sleigh pulled by 8 reindeer (or 9, if it's foggy). he fills stockings with candy...and leaves gifts under the christmas tree...he sees you when you're sleeping and knows when your awake...and, since he knows whether you've been bad (or good), he decides if you get a toy or a lump of coal. people try to say he was invented to sell toys...or coca~cola...but, clearly, they were wrong. so be good my lovelies...i don't want to hear any complaining if you get nothing but a lump of coal...
