WAY BACK WEDNESDAY

"you make me smile with my heart"

FLASHBACK (probably) mid~february 270 AD
version one: emperor claudius II decides that single men make better soldiers than men with wives and families. he outlaws marriage for young men. a priest, named valentine, defies the emperor and performs secret marriages. when he is discovered, claudius orders that valentine be put to death.
version two: valentine is imprisoned for helping christians escape roman prisons, where they are beaten and tortured.
either way, legend says, valentine falls in love with a young girl, while in prison, and sends her the first "valentine" greeting. before his death, he writes the girl a letter and signs it "from your valentine".

FLASH FORWARD: 5th century
pope gelasius outlaws the pagan celebration of lupercalia. lupercalia is a fertility festival dedicated to the roman god of agriculture, faunus, that occurs in the middle of february. the pope declares february 14th st. valentine's day, in an effort to take the focus off lupercalia.

FLASH FORWARD: the middle ages
valentine's reputation as a sympathetic, heroic, and romantic man makes him one of the most popular saints in france and england. valentine's greetings become popular (the oldest greeting, still in existence, is written in 1415, by charles, duke of orleans).

FLASH FORWARD today:
today, americans send, approximately, 1 billion valentine's cards making it the second biggest card sending holiday of the year. 

the more you know ;)

FLASHBACK february 2, 1887

UPDATE: 2/2/2014~PUNXSATAWNEY PHIL SAW HIS SHADOW...GEN. BEAUREGARD LEE DID NOT. HMMMMMM....

"they say it's gone say winter's done...that don't mean a thing...'cause i'm the one that moves the sun...for you i'd turn it into spring"
german settlers to pennsylvania bring the tradition of candlemas to america (the legend of candlemas says "for as the sun shines on candlemas day, so far will the snow swirl in may") and discover that groundhogs are very intelligent and perfect to carry on the legend...so they find phil. every year, on candlemas, they pull phil out of his home and watch. will he see his shadow and run back to his lair? if he does, we have 6 more weeks of winter. or will he hang out for a bit? a sure sign of an early spring. but phil only has been right 39% of the time. hmmmmm.....

FLASH FORWARD february 2, 1990

general beauregard lee starts predicting spring in lilburn, georgia. he claims an accuracy of 94%. yeah. i said 94%.

FLASH FORWARD february 2, 2013

punxsutawney phil hangs out at gobbler's knob for a bit and everyone i know rejoices for an early spring. seems they've had enough winter. me? i didn't see enough snow. didn't have enough cuddling by a cozy fire while old man winter blows outside my window. i am super excited by general beauregard lee's prediction. he sees his shadow and goes into hiding! yay!

FLASH FORWARD march 5, 2013

and so it begins...up to the minute forecasts from every. single. person. on facebook. there's a winter storm a brewin'!! schools close in anticipation of a foot of "the white death". rain turns to snow, just as all the meteorologists predicted, around 9pm. and we all wake up to a beautiful marshmallow world.

                        

and so, it appears, the groundhog to listen to is general lee. and, as he predicted, spring will arrive, as scheduled, on march 21. 

FLASHBACK 1988

REPEAT
"so help me if you can, i've got to get back to the house at pooh corner by one. you'd be surprised, there's so much to be done..." 

every morning dustin sees the commercial. a teddy bear that talks to you. a teddy bear that reads you stories. he wants one for christmas this year. the grandparents are looking for a great gift, so i tell them about teddy ruxpin. they rush out and buy one just for dustin. everyone is so excited for him to open his gift. he rips open the paper. he's so excited to see teddy. SO EXCITED!! until. he's so excited until teddy opens his mouth and talks. excitement immediately turns to terror. he will never turn teddy ruxpin on again.
FLASH FORWARD today
the teddy bear phenomenon goes back to teddy roosevelt. turns out old teddy was out hunting and was brought a bear cub. he just couldn't shoot the cub and it became known as "teddy's bear". of course, toy companies jumped on it, and the teddy bear became a staple in children's bedrooms. we all had a favorite. from winnie the pooh to paddington bear to care bears to teddy ruxpin. and, now, kids can even build their own bear at malls all over the country. teddy bears are also a source of comfort.  there are programs that provide teddy bears for kids in crisis, kids with cancer, and other worthy causes.
november 14 is national american teddy bear day. celebrate by donating a teddy bear to teddy bear cops program, stuffed animals for emergencies, toys for tots, or your local hospitals, churches, and homeless shelters.

              

 

                

                                      

FLASHBACK long ago and far away

"i dream of jack o'lanterns...driving by these bat night skies...haunted by their lighted grins...i close my eyes, somethings reaching in"

a little history lesson:  ever look at your freshly carved pumpkin and say "i wonder where this tradition started?". well, i did the research so you don't have to...

first came the story of "stingy jack" (please listen to my tale with a thick irish brogue...k?).  stingy jack was an irishman who was very, shall we say, cheap. so one day, jack's strolling down the road and bumps into the devil. jack says "devil! have a pint with me!!" and the devil says sure. but jack has no money. he convinces the devil to turn himself into a coin to pay for the pints. remember how his name is STINGY jack? he decides to pocket the coin and skip out on the bill. the coin is next to a cross, so the devil is trapped, until jack says "devil. i'll let ya go if ya let me be for 1 year and spare me soul if i die" and the devil agreed. so, the next year, the devil's back. jack says "devil, i sure would love a taste of fruit before me punishment." so the devil agreed to climb a tree and get him the fruit. jack quickly carved the sign of the cross into the tree, trapping the devil. "devil. i'll let ya down but ya must agree to let me be for 10 more years and spare me soul if i die" and the devil agreed. jack soon died. god refused to let him into heaven...i mean, would you let a trickster like that into heaven?...and the devil, still mad about the tricks jack pulled (cuz old lucifer can dish it out but he can't take it) and true to his word (cuz what does a man have if he doesn't have his word?), refused to let jack into hell. the devil sent jack into the deep, dark night with only a burning coal to light his way. jack put the coal into a carved~out turnip and used it to light the way. and so began the legend of jack of the lantern.

people in ireland and scotland started making "jack's lantern" out of turnips and potatoes, carving scary faces into them and placing them in their windows to ward off evil spirits, including stingy jack. immigrants to america brought this tradition with them and found that pumpkins (which are native to america, by the way) were perfect.

FLASH FORWARD today
we americans love our jack o'lanterns. from carving, or painting, to purchasing pre-lit pumpkins, jack of the lantern is a halloween favorite.  and now you know why... (^^)

                    

 

                                            

SWEETEST SATURDAY

"blue-eyed boy meets a brown-eyed girl oh oh oh, the sweetest thing"
FLASHBACK 1986
i get a package from my mom. inside is a card and some candy. why? well duh doy! it's sweetest day! my future ex~husband is all "what? i don't even know what that is?". what?!!! it's that other day of the year that you shower me with candy and flowers and other crap i don't need so that i can be reminded that you love me. he never ever got me a sweetest day present. that's the reason we got divorced. not really. but it is. but not really. bahahahahahaha!!
FLASH FORWARD today
here's the thing. sweetest day was started in 1922, by cleveland philanthropist and candy maker herbert birch kingston. his idea was to do something nice for those less fortunate. with the help of actresses theda bara and anne pennington, he passed out 45000 (give or take a few thousand...) boxes of candy all over the city, to the orphans and less fortunate residents. since then, people have kind of forgotten about the orphans and less fortunate and turned it into a "hallmark holiday"...oh, you know? a holiday designed to sell cards, candy, and flowers. i love the bk. and i am 45000% sure he loves me back. we have never gotten each other a card. or a box of candy. or roses. we just remind each other that everyday is sweetest day. 
no matter how you celebrate with your sweetest, try to remember the true reason for the holiday and do something nice for those less fortunate. donate some items or cash to charity. buy a cup o'joe for a homeless person. buy a sad old lady a bouquet of flowers. just put a smile on someone's face.
HAPPY SWEETEST DAY MY LOVELIES!!

THE SUNDAY PAPER (or book or blog or mag)

"free your mind and the rest will follow..."                                      
FLASHBACK 1966
in hanover, virginia, parents complain that a discussion of rape, in to kill a mockingbird, is immoral and call for it to be removed from the school reading list.
FLASH FORWARD 1977
in eden valley, minnesota to kill a mockingbird is banned because of the words "damn" and "whore lady".
 FLASH FORWARD (1980 something)
i'm given a reading assignment. i'm not excited. how can i be excited about a book, written in the 60's, about people living in 30's? but, to kill a mockingbird will quickly become one of my favorites. i want an atticus finch and boo radley in my life. *for those unfamiliar with the story, to kill a mockingbird is a lesson in social inequality as told thru the eyes of six year old scout. and you should totally read it*
FLASH FORWARD 1984
the waukegan, illinois school district bans to kill a mockingbird because the "n" word is used 48 times in 211 pages.
FLASH FORWARD 2003
to kill a mockingbird is banned from normal, illinois community high school's sophomore literature class because it's "degrading to african americans".
TODAY
people continue to attempt to ban books from schools and public libraries. and to kill a mockingbird is always on the list of banned and challenged books. it's in good company with the great gatsby, the lord of the flies, and the grapes of wrath. the top 10 banned books of 2012~2013 are:

1. captain underpants, dav pilkey (offensive language and unsuited for age group)
2. the absolute true diary of a part time indian, sherman alexie (offensive language, racism, sexually explicit, unsuited for age group)
3. 13 reasons why, jay asher (drugs/alcohol/smoking, sexually explicit, suicide, unsuited for age group)
4. 50 shades of grey, e.l. james (offensive language, sexually explicit)
5. and tango makes three, peter parnell and justin richardson (homosexuality, unsuited for age group)
6. the kite runner, khaled hosseini (homosexuality, offensive language, religious viewpoint, sexually explicit)
7. looking for alaska, john green (offensive language, sexually explicit, unsuited for age group)
8. scary stories, alvin schwartz (unsuited for age group, violence)
9. the glass castle, jeannette walls (offensive language, sexually explicit)
10. beloved, toni morrison (sexually explicit, religious viewpoint, violence)

september 22 thru 28 is banned books week. celebrate your right to read whatever you choose by selecting books off the banned books list and participating in the virtual read~out! 

^two of these books have been banned, or challenged, from schools or public libraries. can you guess which two?

SUNDAY COMICS

"do your boobs hang low? do they wobble to and fro? can you tie 'em in a knot? can you tie 'em in a bow?"

FLASHBACK 2007/08 (my sources are a little sketchy here because...well...they're raelians and that's just weird)

claude vorilhon...who prefers to be called rael because he is, in fact, the leader of the raelians (which are members of the ufo religion called the raelian movement...which, i think, requires a whole other blog post)...starts an annual event called "go topless". the idea is simple. women are being oppressed because it's illegal for them to walk around town topless even though they're male counterparts can do as they please. never-mind that women really don't want to see moobies. 

FLASH FORWARD today

tomorrow is women's equality day, celebrating the day women earned the right to do something ACTUALLY worth while...vote. so, today, there will be protests all over the country, in an attempt to get women another right. the right to bare breasts. women will be topless (although most will wear pasties because the don't want to get arrested) and men are encouraged to cover their moobs with pasties or bras. i will be at a baseball game. with my top on. why? because great american ballpark is NOT st tropez. 

now, if you are interested in going around your city showing off your tatas, you can check out gotopless.org for more information. personally, i believe we should protest men's right to bare chests because...let's face it...unless you're channing tatum, you should probably keep your shirt on. 

ps...if you choose to go topless today understand that i'm not judging you. unless you have disgusting moobies. then, i am. i am totally judging you. 

not so MANIC MONDAY

"if i knew you were coming i'd have baked a cake..." or a cobbler!
FLASHBACK summer of 2012
we pass it every sunday, on our way to the lake. a farm fresh veggie stand. we stop every sunday, on our way home from the lake. zucchini, yellow squash, ears of corn, beefsteak tomatoes, watermelons, cantaloupes, and plums. 

FLASH FORWARD spring 2013
the bk is thinking we should join a csa. a what? csa means "community supported agriculture". basically, farmers sell off shares of their crops. you buy in for the season and receive a box of seasonal fruits and veggies each week. the farmer does all the work and you reap all the benefits. also, you share in the risk. hail knocks out all your corn, you're disappointed along with the farmer and all the members of your csa...it's YOUR farm. 

how is this a benefit? why not buy veggies from the grocery? well, #1~this keeps your money local...most of the veggies at your big chain retailers are not locally grown. #2~it's money saving...our co~op breaks down to approximately $15 per week...i priced our same items, at the grocery, and we saved $10. #3~being introduced to veggies you would never buy at your grocery...i have never ever ever bought garlic scapes. the first week of the season, we got a ton of them...an internet search later, i was using them in everything from salads to pasta sauces!  interested in joining a csa? localharvest.org is a good place to locate your area csa's. just enter your zip and BOOM! you're provided a listing of farmers, near you, and their contact info...

FLASH FORWARD today
we get up every saturday and head to the local farmer's market to meet up with our csa and pick up our goodies...this week: corn, tomatoes, radishes, egg plant, watermelon, and blackberries. yummmmmmm....blackberries!!! a search of pinterest takes me to ree drummond's recipe for blackberry cobbler!!! PINTEREST SUCCESS!!!!!

PIONEER WOMAN'S BLACKBERRY COBBLER

ingredients:
½ cup butter (1 stick)
1 ¼ c sugar
1 c self~rising flour
1 c milk
2 c blackberries

pre~heat oven to 350°. melt butter. combine 1 cup of the sugar and flour. whisk in milk until smooth. whisk in melted butter until well combined. generously butter baking dish. pour batter into baking dish. rinse blackberries and lightly pat dry. add to baking dish making sure to spread them evenly. sprinkle ¼ cup of the sugar evenly over cobbler. bake for 1 hour.

**note: i didn't have self~rising flour and wasn't going to make a trip to the store just for that. to make your all~purpose flour "self~rising" simply add 1¼ teaspoons baking soda and ¼ teaspoons of salt to each cup of all~purpose flour.**

national farmer's market week is august 4~10. support your local farmers!!

WHAT UP WEDNESDAY

"she makes me feel real woozy...sometimes sick to my stomach (ohhh)...but i love this girl tequila..."

FLASHBACK 1521 
the spanish conquistadors begin distilling the agave plant, producing one of north america's first distilled spirits. it's called tequila because it is made near a city by the same name. *note: the aztecs had fermented a drink from the agave, long before, called "octli".
FLASH FORWARD today
there are over 100 distilleries producing over 900 brands of tequila, in mexico. and there are different flavors available, too. there are many ways to enjoy a shot of tequila. you can do just a straight up shot....enjoy it with salt and lime...maybe, some sugar and lemon?...perhaps a margarita?...or my way: a baby guiness!

to make a perfect baby guiness you need:

patron xo
bailey's irish cream
shot glass

fill the shot glass 3/4 up with the patron xo...top off, slowly, with bailey's irish cream...boom!!!
*some recipes call for kahlua instead of tequila...mistake. the bailey's doesn't float as well and it doesn't taste as good.* it should look like this:

my first attempt looked like this:

uh oh!! but it still tasted uh~mazing!!

 


however you enjoy it, remember to enjoy it today: NATIONAL TEQUILA DAY!!!

SUNDAY TREAT

 "i got some ice cream and you ain't got none..."
FLASHBACK 1st century b.c. (or so they say)...
the roman emperor, nero, is rumored to order ice to be brought from the mountains and topped with fruit. and king tang, of china, has a method of creating treats out of ice and milk.
FLASH FORWARD 1776
the first ice cream parlor opens in new york city.
FLASH FORWARD 1846
a hand~cranked freezer is patented by nancy johnson. it is a method of making ice cream that is still used this very day.
FLASH FORWARD may 5, 1978
ben and jerry's open for business...in an old gas station...using an old~fashioned ice cream freezer. this is important because ben and jerry's is my very favorite ice cream ever!!
FLASH FORWARD july 21, 2013
today is national ice cream day. it's the middle of summer. it's hot. it's humid. it's perfect ice cream weather. i think i'll start with breakfast at dairy queen: one LARGE twist cone with crunch coat, please..lunch from the village ice cream parlor: a banana split? yes, i think i will...dinner? maybe a pint of ben and jerry's pistachio pistachio....followed by a late night snack from sonic: a chocolate cream pie shake *note: sonic offers 1/2 price milkshakes after 8p all summer long!!
how will you celebrate?

follow ben and jerry on twitter @benandjerrys...you might get a special treat like i did!!