"when it comes to beats, well, i'm a fiend...i'd like my sugar with coffee and cream" i don't remember how old i was the first time i tried coffee. one grandma would never let me try it..."coffee will stunt your growth"...the other grandma would pour me a cup. i do remember it was mostly sugar and cream...it would be years...YEARS i tell you...before i could drink it like a grown up. FLASH FORWARD today this is my morning routine: #1~wake up as soon as i hear jamie get in the shower (how that wakes me and the alarm doesn't, we may never know)...#2~bathroom...#3~brush teeth (can't be kissin' the bk good-bye with stank breath)...#4~coffee and a good book. if #4 doesn't happen, the day is gonna suck. seriously. i gotta have my coffee and me time...i love all kinds of coffee. columbian coffee. mocha mint coffee. khalua coffee. with the cool fall mornings, pumpkin spice coffee is my brew of choice these days. my favorite way to make it? well...if i had my way, starbucks would be operating out of my kitchen. but, since that has to wait until i win the lottery, i'll stick to using my keurig. so so easy. just pop in a k~cup...no measuring, no clean up, and a wide variety of flavors and brews to choose from...and i'm off to my cozy spot on the couch. today is national coffee day. celebrate by sippin' on your favorite cup o' joe, sitting in your favorite spot, and enjoying a little me time.
^must have jack mugs^
^me time favorites^
^3 stages of a morning^
i would like to thank bridgette for having the courage to show us what coffee addiction truly looks like :)
"baby you can drive my car...yes i'm gonna be a star..." i really could've cared less about driving. my two feet got me everywhere i needed to be to find a ride to cruise town. why get a license and then have to be the driver all the time? and have to worry about gas all the time? and blah blah blah. not interested. there's a knock on my door one morning. coach v "get your shoes on...you're driving today". ugh!!! it was fun, though. right up until the moment coach v smacked me in the back of my head, with his HUMONGOUS class ring, for not knowing my right from left. FLASH FORWARD 2003-2006 my boys are learning to drive. i cannot be in the car with them...i repeat...i CANNOT be in the car with them. the only experience they had behind the wheel, they got on the weekends that their dad was in town. *i would like to thank all the little people that made this MOTHER OF THE YEAR AWARD possible*
FLASH FORWARD 2010 my brother is an idiot. he asked me and the bk to watch his girls for a long weekend. me. he trusted his kids with me. yep. my brother is an idiot. we have a great time. we go to king's island. we play board games. we watched emma cheer. we let abby drive. huh? we let a 14 year old drive? hold on! hold on!! NOT ON THE ROAD!! duh doy! that would just be nyuts!! we took her to a local strip mall parking lot that all the kids in town practice maneuverability. emma was freaking out...she refused to be in the car. so we were just spectators as the bk let abby drive him all over the parking lot.
FLASH FORWARD september 27, 2012 abby just turned 16. and today is the day she takes her driving test. i'm sure she's nervous. i KNOW her mama's nervous. i get a text from her mama "omg! i am in knots!!!!!!! she is leaving with instructor now". we've already talked about it. we are not good examples of good driving. we don't keep our hands at 10 and 2. we mess with the radio while driving. we speed (shhhh...i did not just say that). we roll thru stop signs. a mere 15 minutes later i get another text "ackkkkkk she passed"! and THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is what happens when the bk lets a 14 year old drive in a parking lot.
"may you build a ladder to the stars and climb on every rung...and may you stay...forever young"
my grandma lillie and i share the same birth month, horoscope, and birthstone (i'm not fond of yellow topaz, but you don't get to pick your birth month, do you?). so who better to pass down the birthstone jewelry to than me, right? right. so i inherited a gold ring with a HUGE yellow topaz. it's got an extremely wide band. it screams 1975. turns out my grandpa had given that ring to her on her 50th birthday. as grandma lillie would say, "wale she~it", i gotta wear it NOW. it was a 50th birthday gift...that's kind of a big deal...given to her from the grandfather i lost when i was nearly 17...and THAT is a bigger deal.....
FLASH FORWARD september 13, 2012
my mama calls. grandma is cleaning out her closet and says she has clothes for me. grandma isn't even 5' tall...i am 5'4". i'm kind of a hippy...grandma is trendy for an 86 year old woman. i'm still young (well...46 is the new 26, right? right?!!!) and...remember how i said grandma is 86?!!! i love you grandma, but i really don't think i need, nay, WANT your hand me downs (don't worry folks...i'm a good granddaughter...i will smile...say thank you...and drop them off at a local charity).
FLASH FORWARD today
grandma is upset with mama. seems her bathroom, in the nursing home, is cold and she wants a space heater. in a bathroom that is basically a humongous walk~in shower. i get it, grandma. the tile in that bathroom HAS to be cold. but i gotta stand behind mama and say no. no you can not put an electric heater in the floor of your incredibly large walk~in shower. why not, you ask? because, hasn't anyone ever told you, water and electricity do not mix?
september is healthy aging month. i realize it's almost october, but there's still time for you to get yourself on the right path toward healthy aging. my tips for you?
#1~start eating right. oh stop pouting. you can still enjoy your larosa's pizza or whatever. just do it in moderation. try adding a salad (low fat dressing please) with every meal to get those veggies in. and eat some fresh fruit once~in~awhile, would ya? trust me on this...3 weeks of eating out because of this move and i feel like poo...eat at home, as often as possible, and get the right amount of protein, fruits, and veggies.
#2~WATER!! drink lots of water. limit sodas and other sugary drinks (that includes DIET people~what you give up in sugar you gain in sodium) to 1 a day. hydrate hydrate hydrate. your body and skin will thank you for it.
#3~exercise. oh hush! i'm not saying you have to run a marathon. just get your tail up off the couch for at least 30 minutes a day. can't stand the outdoors? get on a treadmill. or take a class somewhere. or buy a wii fit..and USE it.
if you follow these 3 simple tips, you will grow to be an 86 year old woman thinking your granddaughter wants your hand me downs and complaining that no one will let you put an electric heater in YOUR humongous walk~in shower...
which reminds me!!
#4~do not...i repeat...DO NOT put an electric heater in your humongous walk~in shower.
so 4. follow these 4 tips to healthy aging.
live long and prosper :)
^the grandparents back in the day...aren't they stunning?^
"god forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes" i have mrs boulton for an english class. i don't remember much about the "english" she taught, but i do remember she spent a lot of time discussing stereotypes. not all black people can dance (example-have you ever seen president obama dance? it's not pretty). not all asians have kung fu powers (well...except for mr miyagi...that dude is bad a$$!!). not all gays use track lighting (sorry any character from "steel magnolias"). and, most importantly, not all blondes are dumb (yours truly is a natural blonde and i don't climb trees to rake leaves). these lessons have stuck with me, and i try very hard not to judge people by their race, religion, sexual orientation, hair color (!), etc. FLASH FORWARD 2002 in april, i received a phone call from the grandfather of noah's best friend. would i like to fill in for his receptionist when she's out? sure! a little pocket change working a few days a month, in a senior center, sounds awesome. turns out, it was a few days a week because she had a lot of health problems. that led to a full time position scheduling in-home aides and cna's for the home care department. and that led to a promotion, managing the medicaid budget for a program that allows disabled adults and children to receive nursing home care in their own homes. i loved my jobs. all of them. FLASH FORWARD today my experience has led to a HUMONGOUS pet peeve. i cannot stand...repeat...CANNOT STAND...when people stereotype people who are on government assistance. you hear it all the time. "people on welfare abuse the system". "people on assistance are lazy". "people on assistance are drug abusers". oh, it's true. SOME people on assistance fit in one, or all, of these categories. everyday, someone on assistance is driving a nice car, carrying an iphone, or selling their food stamps for drug money. but i will argue that these people are just the vocal minority. most of the people on assistance are actually trying hard to get themselves out of the system. the silent majority. these are the people that get up every morning and go job hunting, trying to better their situation. these are the people that are going to school, trying to increase their odds of getting a job that will afford them the ability to get off assistance. but let me tell you a story of one of those people driving a nice car, carrying a decent cell phone (not an iphone, because they weren't available at all companies), and dressing like a fashionista. she worked with me. her car? i sold it to her so she could get to work. and when i say sold, i mean she paid me when she could. it was not a great car but it LOOKED like a great car. her cell phone? i gave her mine when i got an upgrade, and added her to my plan. she paid the $10 charge for the added line. and her clothes? she shopped at goodwill and i gave her clothes that i never wore. and if someone bought me something in the wrong size, or a color i was not fond of, i would give them to her instead of returning them to the store. why would i do all this? because her job didn't pay much and, contrary to popular belief, the "assistance" people get is not truly enough for the average american to live off of (did you know that the average food stamp benefit in the state of ohio is only $139.87 per month! how much do you spend on food each month?). she needed that car to get to work. her job required her to travel to people's homes and everyone should have a cell phone for emergencies. and every girl should feel like a fashionista. i am not telling you this story so that you can say "wow...you're an awesome person!". i am telling you this story so that, next time you're in line at kroger and you see that person paying with food stamps, talking on her cell, and wearing designer jeans, maybe you'll remember. maybe you'll remember that someone may have given her that cell phone. maybe someone gave her those designer jeans. and maybe someone helped her buy that car. and maybe, just maybe, when you aren't looking, she's working really hard to get herself off that assistance.
"i want my mtv..." i'm in columbus, visiting my aunt and uncle and little baby, zach. they have cable! yay!! we turn it to a new channel. "ladies and gentlemen, rock 'n roll!!". mtv is making it's debut. the very first music video? the buggles "video killed the radio star". FLASH FORWARD today mtv may have changed. a lot. but "video killed the radio star" remains the only memorable song the buggles ever had. ah...the one hit wonder. how does one become a one hit wonder? well...you record a fad song (think "disco duck" or "pacman fever"...omg!). or you die an untimely death (the big bopper died along side buddy holly and richie valenz). or you simply get lucky with one song (4 non blondes "what's up?") and struggle with continued success. today is "one-hit wonder" day. crank up that radio and take yourself down to "funkytown"!!
"there are three things i've learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics, and the great pumpkin..." i turned 18 in 1983 and my dad MADE me register to vote. i had absolutely no interest. i didn't know, and didn't care enough, what to register as. republican? democrat? i'll just register independent. no thought necessary. may of 1984 was the first election after i registered. a primary. i didn't even know...or care...what we were voting on, but my dad MADE me go to the polls. poll worker "are you democrat or republican?". me "neither". pw "well...this is a primary and there is nothing for YOU to vote on". end of my first election (shoulder shrug). in november, of that same year, our candidates were ronald reagan and walter mondale. i was too busy partying in college to care. besides, everybody knew reagan was going to win. everybody. knew. reagan. was going to win. i didn't bother to vote. my vote wouldn't even make a difference. right? FLASH FORWARD today i've grown up a lot in the years since that 1984 election. i have finally chosen a party. and i have cast my vote in every election since (except for one in ohio and one in south carolina that i was ineligible for because i had JUST moved to the area). never before have i seen an election season like this one. two very different candidates...the democrat incumbent (barack obama) and the republican hopeful (mitt romney). and a country divided. the lies are abundant. on BOTH sides. and the hatred. oh...the hatred. from BOTH sides. those incessant tv ads, you ask? nope. those are a staple of any election season. i am talking about social media. twitter. facebook. even pinterest. it's gotten completely out of hand. there is not a morning that passes without political commentary. everyone has an opinion. and everyone is certain that their's is the ONLY opinion. i try not to throw my hat into that ring. why? because i adore my friends. i adore my friends EVEN when i disagree with them. oh, i mess up on occasion. i was recently asked my opinion on the candidates, by someone who was sure i would agree with them. when i offered up my view, i was lectured (for 30 long minutes) about all the things that were wrong with my opinion. i bit my lip and let all the rhetoric go in one ear and out the other. the thing is, i completely disagree with MOST of what this person was saying, but i was brought up to respect his/her right to say it. but, on social media, you will find only one (somewhat) political post. one that i immediately regretted. not because i didn't stand behind it's statement, but because of the fight it started among my facebook friends. why not give my opinion? because my daddy taught me two, very important, lessons in life...#1~opinions are like a$$holes, everybody has one, and #2~never discuss politics or religion with friends and/or family. i took linus' advice and added the great pumpkin (you would be surprised at how many people DO NOT believe in the great pumpkin?!!!). this week is "remember to register to vote" week. so while you're ranting and raving on your favorite form of social media...don't forget to make sure that you are registered to vote in this upcoming election. because, i don't care WHICH candidate you choose, if you don't vote you have no right to complain when it's over.
FLASHBACK 1987 i wake up at 5am, soaking wet in my bed. i'm 9 months pregnant and my water just broke! ack!! 2 hours and 45 minutes later i have a beautiful baby boy. FLASH FORWARD 1988 i wake up at 4:45am. i am in an amazing pain. i'm 9 months pregnant and having contractions. i get to the hospital. a contraction just ends and the nurse asks "how far apart are your contractions?" me "ack!!" another contraction! they fly me to the delivery room and 30 minutes later i have a beautiful baby boy. FLASH FORWARD 1990 i wake up at 9am. i check in to the hospital. they leisurely check my vitals, draw lines on my belly, introduce me to the staff. at 2pm i am wheeled back to the OR. 20 minutes later i have a beautiful baby boy. up until 1987, i could do what i wanted when i wanted. well. i did what i wanted when i wanted, consequences be damned. then my boys were born. KABOOM!! KABOOM!! KABOOM!! no time for cardinal. want a bubble bath? "mama! mama! i wanna play in the bubbles too!!" want to read a book? "mama!! mama!! read me "the true story of the big bad wolf"!!". wanna go shopping? toys 'r us us here we come. somehow, when we grow up, life becomes a series of "have to's". we have to take care of the kids. we have to take care of the pets. we have to take care of the house. we have to take care of our spouses. there is an endless amount of laundry...cooking...cleaning. there is no time for you. well...today is "innergize day". yep. the day after the autumnal equinox...which was yesterday, by the way...is a day to set aside just for you. a day for you to get to know yourself. a day to do all those things you always wish you had time to do. take a bubble bath...NO KIDS ALLOWED!! read a book...might i suggest tina fey's "bossypants" or, possibly, a classic like bram stoker's "dracula". go shopping...nordstrom rack maybe. whatever you do make sure it's all about YOU!!
"when it comes to beats, well, i'm a fiend...i'd like my sugar with coffee and cream"
