FLASH BACK august 16, 1977

"there will be peace in the valley..."
35 years ago, today, the world lost the king of rock 'n roll. i was 11 when elvis died. i'm not gonna lie. i have no idea where i was, or what i was doing, when i heard the news. and it would be years before i would realize how much  i love his music (mostly because i love vince vaughn, but that's a whole other story). 
hail to the king baby!!

BECAUSE IT'S THURSDAY?

"if you're happiest when you're complaining...then you're a grouch like me"

FLASHBACK january 29, 2014 (yeah, i know...huge flashback)
i'm having lunch with a friend and she mentions it's national curmudgeon day. man!! i missed it! but it gets me thinking. i know a lot of curmudgeons. i mean A LOT of curmudgeons. and i think, if you take a sec to look around you, so do you.

curmudgeon /kərˈməjən/ :  a person who is easily annoyed or angered and who often complains

we all have our moments when it seems we fit the definition but, to be an ACTUAL curmudgeon, it has to be a way of life. it has to almost make you joyous to complain. and, every morning...i mean every. single. morning...all the curmudgeons i know are spouting their annoyances and complaints on my facebook time line. how do i know they're curmudgeons and not just having a bad day? because it's always complaints. they are never, ever, happy. it's day, after day, after day of: the dog ate my homework...it's too cold/wet/cloudy outside...the sun is too bright...this fire is too warm...my bed was too comfortable...my football/baseball team didn't win...my husband/wife is breathing too loud...argh argh argh...

don't get me wrong? i love having curmudgeons in my life. although i always wonder what these people would do if they had real problems, i am completely entertained by their posts. they make me laugh. so, if you are one of my curmudgeons: keep it up, sunshine!! 

today
like i said, national curmudgeon day was yesterday. it's too late to celebrate your favorite curmudgeon...or your curmudgeonliness (i may, or may not, have just made that up)...but it's not too early to prepare for next year. so...in honor of the day, here are a few of my favorite curmudgeons. maybe they remind you of someone you know?

walt (clint eastwood)~gran torino

mickey (burgess meredith)~rocky

archie bunker (carrol o'connor)~all in the family

scrooge (reginald owen)~a christmas carol

carl (ed asner)~up

professor snape (alan rickman)~harry potter

and my all time favorite. also, proof that women can be curmudgeons:

ouiser boudreaux (shirley mcclain)~steel magnolias

HAPPY BELATED NATIONAL CURMUDGEON DAY!!

SUNDAY COMICS

"do your boobs hang low? do they wobble to and fro? can you tie 'em in a knot? can you tie 'em in a bow?"

FLASHBACK 2007/08 (my sources are a little sketchy here because...well...they're raelians and that's just weird)

claude vorilhon...who prefers to be called rael because he is, in fact, the leader of the raelians (which are members of the ufo religion called the raelian movement...which, i think, requires a whole other blog post)...starts an annual event called "go topless". the idea is simple. women are being oppressed because it's illegal for them to walk around town topless even though they're male counterparts can do as they please. never-mind that women really don't want to see moobies. 

FLASH FORWARD today

tomorrow is women's equality day, celebrating the day women earned the right to do something ACTUALLY worth while...vote. so, today, there will be protests all over the country, in an attempt to get women another right. the right to bare breasts. women will be topless (although most will wear pasties because the don't want to get arrested) and men are encouraged to cover their moobs with pasties or bras. i will be at a baseball game. with my top on. why? because great american ballpark is NOT st tropez. 

now, if you are interested in going around your city showing off your tatas, you can check out gotopless.org for more information. personally, i believe we should protest men's right to bare chests because...let's face it...unless you're channing tatum, you should probably keep your shirt on. 

ps...if you choose to go topless today understand that i'm not judging you. unless you have disgusting moobies. then, i am. i am totally judging you. 

TUESDAY TREASURES

"these are a few of my favorite things..."



1. i always look forward to late night with jimmy fallon because i might get to see this:

 2. edy's slow churned ice cream ...slow churned is naturally half the fat, so i can feel slightly less guilty. and this flavor is uh~mazing! but it's only available thru the end of august:

3. i can't say, for sure, it's my favorite...yet...but my love of everything simon peg (shaun of the dead, hot fuzz) tells me i am going to totally love this:

4. i'm in love with this:

5. i can't stop listening to this:

6. really liked reading this:

7. i totally love playing on vine because i can do this:

what are some of your favorite things?

not so MANIC MONDAY

repeat :)
"a little less conversation a little more action baby..."
FLASHBACK july 2009
one of the first things i notice about jamie, he has an amazing tattoo of elvis on his right ankle. yep. he's an elvis fan. i am a closet elvis fan. i watch his movies when no one is looking. i have a cd with all of his greats. i only listen to it when no one is in the car with me.
FLASH FORWARD today
i am no longer a closet fan. i love elvis. i sing along with jamie every time he comes on the radio (which can happen a lot with sirius xm). not too long ago we watched "clambake"...an elvis great as long as he wasn't singing about "goop". okay. i admit it. sometimes his movies made him look like a dork. but we all know he was the coolest person in the history of ever. even my beloved beatles thought so.
saturday marked the beginning of elvis week. so from today thru the 17th, take some time to unleash your inner hound dog. HAIL TO THE KING BABY!!

                   

SUNDAY TREAT

 "i got some ice cream and you ain't got none..."
FLASHBACK 1st century b.c. (or so they say)...
the roman emperor, nero, is rumored to order ice to be brought from the mountains and topped with fruit. and king tang, of china, has a method of creating treats out of ice and milk.
FLASH FORWARD 1776
the first ice cream parlor opens in new york city.
FLASH FORWARD 1846
a hand~cranked freezer is patented by nancy johnson. it is a method of making ice cream that is still used this very day.
FLASH FORWARD may 5, 1978
ben and jerry's open for business...in an old gas station...using an old~fashioned ice cream freezer. this is important because ben and jerry's is my very favorite ice cream ever!!
FLASH FORWARD july 21, 2013
today is national ice cream day. it's the middle of summer. it's hot. it's humid. it's perfect ice cream weather. i think i'll start with breakfast at dairy queen: one LARGE twist cone with crunch coat, please..lunch from the village ice cream parlor: a banana split? yes, i think i will...dinner? maybe a pint of ben and jerry's pistachio pistachio....followed by a late night snack from sonic: a chocolate cream pie shake *note: sonic offers 1/2 price milkshakes after 8p all summer long!!
how will you celebrate?

follow ben and jerry on twitter @benandjerrys...you might get a special treat like i did!!

A WEEK IN THE LIFE: INSTAGRAM EDITION

   

^john mayer on vine"

"i read the news today oh boy...about a lucky man who made the grade...and though the news was rather sad...well i just had to laugh...i saw the photograph..."

i hope everyone has been enjoying their summer as much as i have...vacation and the "summer of music 2013" have been the highlight of the season, so far...check out what we've been up to thru the magic of instagram (and a little vine)!!

1. beating the heat with a napping kitty

2. when it's 45000 degrees at an outdoor concert, this is as good as it gets, john mayer don't care!

3. a tad cooler at concert number 2..dave matthews

4. clear skies and beautiful music

5. crash into me

6. lazy sunday because it's just too hot outside...jesus be a raindrop!!

7. delicious summer snack: cucumbers and hummus!!

and because instagram decided to add video: 

SATURDAY STUDIES

"what's this? what's this? i can't believe my eyes!"
FLASHBACK may 16, 2013 (i know...i know...just a few short days ago)
i am crazy busy! i'm cleaning house...i'm paying bills...i'm getting all dolled up! why? because tonight is the inaugural concert at the horseshoe casino...AND it's the killers, one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE bands EVER!!...AND it's raining, so i have to be super cute whether i'm wet or dry...ugh! so, with all this going on i totally forget to sit down and write my blog. which means i totally don't look up any fun and exciting tidbits of information to share with you. which means i totally miss the best holiday we never knew about: national sea monkey day!!!

            

and so i have to:
FLASHBACK 1970 something
you see these ads in the back of comic books and teen magazines. "enter the wonderful world of amazing live sea monkeys", "own a bowl full of happiness", "instant pets". everybody tried them. few had success. i remember trying them. i just remember a bowl full of dust. or, maybe, my dad got them to live but i got bored before it happened. besides, we had a REAL aquarium with the most amazing lion fish that my dad had to save from a tragic goldfish choking...but that's a story for another time.
FLASH FORWARD 2007(ish)
i find sea monkeys at cracker barrel. nostalgia takes over and i totally forget that you only get a bowl full of dust, so i buy one. 7 days later...WE HAVE SEA MONKEYS!!!!
what are sea monkeys, you ask? just brine shrimp. some dude (harold von braunhut) decided to make his own version of an ant farm. BOOM! we have sea monkeys. the ad is a tad misleading. i was really disappointed that my monkeys didn't look like mer~people and build a community in their tank. but, still, it was fun to watch them grow.
so, now, you want your own sea monkeys but not a bowl of dust? here are some helpful tips:

• follow the instructions that come with your sea monkeys (amazing how that works, right?).
• keep the water around 70 degrees. i would not set my tank near an air conditioner vent or in a window that gets direct sun. 
• feed them 5 days after hatching...then, again a week later. feed weekly...if the water gets cloudy you're feeding too much and should wait until the water clears.
• set their tank in an area that will get plenty of indirect sunlight. direct sunlight will get the water too hot, but indirect sun will help algae grow. algae will provide food and oxygen for your monkeys.
• you need to aerate your tank. you can stir it, pour the water back and forth between the tank and a large bowl a few times, or purchase the available "million bubble air pump".
• watch for water evaporation. when the water level drops 2" fill it immediately. if you let it drop lower, you might affect the salt levels and shock your monkeys! no bueno!!

hears to your happy, healthy sea monkeys!!!

^living sea monkeys...nothing like the ad!^

^million bubble air pump^

WHAT UP THIS WEDNESDAY?

so...it's been a pretty busy week at work...we had a huge sale that seemed to last forever. and i worked ALL day EVERY day of it. i mean AAAALLLL day. EV. ER. YDAY. and working with the public, and grumpy co~workers, takes a lot out of a girl. i've been too tired to think, let alone write a blog. and i'm still tired. so today, you get a quick history lesson and a video. i hope you enjoy them!!??!!

FLASHBACK september 13, 1959

elvis meets and falls in love with priscilla, in germany, while in the army. she was 14....CREEPY!! 

FLASH FORWARD may 1, 1967

elvis and priscilla marry.

FLASH FORWARD february 1, 1968

priscilla gives birth to their only child, lisa marie.

FLASH FORWARD 1973

priscilla begins an affair with her karate instructor and she and elvis divorce. elvis is heartbroken.

elvis never ever wrote a song but, they say, he sang "always on my mind" about priscilla.

FLASHBACK sometime in 1992

"eloquent profanity, it rolls right off my tongue"
it's a gloomy day in upstate new york. i'm cleaning house and cody is watching "the elephant show". i open the drapes. the two year old toddles to the window and says "oh S&%T! it's raining!". ummmmm...i'm super excited because it's his first full sentence. and i'm completely mortified because it's his first full sentence. clearly, i need to watch my mouth in front of the kids. yeah. that's NOT going to happen.
FLASH FORWARD 2010
my nieces and i are in line at king's island. abby and madison are picking on emma. i look over just in time to see her flip the bird (the universal sign of love in our family). EMMA!!! "what? i was just telling her i love her?!!". welp....at least we know she retains information.

FLASH FORWARD today
today is earmuffs day. I KNOW it's to honor the anniversary of the patent some guy with giant ears (chester greenwood) got on his invention in 1877. however, i'm choosing to honor the 10 year tradition, brought to us by vince vaughn, of yelling "earmuffs" when we plan to say something in front of our kids that, maybe, they shouldn't hear.
it's really easy to say "you shouldn't use that language in front of children". but let's say you stub your toe really hard on the coffee table. are you really going to look around and check for little ears before you let out a very loud "F&%K!!!!!!!!" (or, maybe, you'll just say "d*&m" because you aren't, actually, a sailor)? no. no you're not. also, they are going to hear it a million other places (school, tv, movies, video games) so watching your mouth isn't, necessarily, going to prevent them from learning and using foul language. so, how do you prevent your child from swearing? you could search google for advice. there you will find all kinds of articles about how horrible it is for kids to talk like this. articles that say you should give them words to use instead. what? look. i taught 2 year old cody to say "sugar"...it worked, until he went to school. i say, listen to someone a little less uptight. like me!

• don't make a HUGE deal out of what the kid said. getting angry, or laughing, or immediately punishing the child will only make the word(s) more powerful. flip out and your kid is going to say "s$%t" every time (s)he wants your attention.
• talk to your kid about when that language is or isn't appropriate. maybe you think it's never appropriate. or, maybe, you think it's okay when you are extremely angry. kids aren't stupid. talk to them, rationally, and they will understand. my kids knew their boundaries. of course they used that language, but never at school, or church, or anywhere it might offend someone. 
• be more concerned with the messages of ALL the words we speak, and the tone we use when we speak them. i'm more concerned with words that sound judgmental, gossipy, or condescending. 

or, you could just yell "EARMUFFS!" right before you let the f~word fly.

^one of cody's favorite shows...no profanity included^

^"earmuff it for me"^

FLASHBACK 1956

"i'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world...life in plastic, it's fantastic!" 
ruth handler takes a trip to europe with her children. she discovers a german doll named bild lilli, a blond bombshell that knows what she wants and will do whatever it takes to get it. lilli is marketed to adults, but little girls love her. so ruth takes lilli to her husband who, by an act of SHEER coincidence, just happens to be the cofounder of mattel! KABOOM!! barbie's born. 
FLASH FORWARD march 9, 1959
barbie (named after ruth's daughter) makes her debut at the american international toy fair. she wears a  black and white striped swimsuit and signature top knot. she is available as a blond or a brunette. AND she has a backstory. she is the daughter of george and margaret roberts of willows, wisconsin. because, you know, everybody needs a backstory. everybody. needs. a backstory.
FLASH FORWARD 1961
barbie meets ken. they have off and on relationships in the minds of little girls everywhere. for eternity. i don't believe they can ever truly be happy.
FLASH FORWARD march 9, 2009
barbie turns 50. AND she still looks fabulous. boo. 
FLASH FORWARD today
barbie turns 54 today. and she remains the leading fashion doll with, roughly, 946 million dolls sold every year. how will you celebrate barbie's birthday? i'm thinking pink cupcakes, dressing like a starlet, and going out and conquering my little corner of the world. won't you join me?

                  
 

FLASHBACK january 8, 1935

 "it's down at the end of lonely street at heartbreak hotel"

elvis aaron presley is born. in tupelo, mississippi. to vernon and gladys. his identical twin brother, jesse, was delivered 35 minutes before...stillborn...he was considered "average" while growing up in tupelo. he received his first guitar at 10 years old. in august of 1953, he walked into sun records to pay for studio time. sam phillips liked what he heard. after that meeting, elvis would release18 number one hits (the first being "heartbreak hotel")...would be declared "unfit for family viewing" by the ed sullivan show...would star in 31 movies...would serve his country for 2 years...would influence other artists, such as the beatles...would marry and divorce only once...and would produce one child. elvis passed on august 16, 1977 at 42 years old...in a statement, president jimmy carter credited elvis with "permanently changing the face of american pop culture"...since his death he has been inducted into FOUR music hall of fames (rock and roll hall of fame, country music hall of fame, gospel music hall of fame, and rockabilly hall of fame)...graceland was opened to the public and welcomes over 600,000 people a year...had countless reissues and remixes top the charts...
HAIL TO THE KING BABY!!