FLASHBACK 1966

festivus is celebrated, for the first time, in celebration of writer dan o'keefe's first date with his future wife. it eventually became the family's way of protesting the pressures and commercialism of christmas and is celebrated on december 23. 
FLASH FORWARD 1997
daniel o'keefe, dan's son, incorporates the holiday into an episode of "seinfeld" and people all over the country embrace it!
FLASH FORWARD december 22, 2012
i work retail. i work retail during the holidays. everybody warned me. everybody. warned. me. not to work retail during the holidays. "i know you! you're gonna want to punch people in the throat!" no i won't...don't be silly! "people are horrible!" nuh uh!! and they were wrong. most...not all...but most, of my customers have been amazing. until. until....3 days before christmas. now they're frantic. now they're demanding. now they're vicious and cruel. "i want to pay my bill." okay ma'am, how much would you like to pay? "all of it!! you people are so rude!! i'm paying it off and never using it again! i may never shop here!!" i'm so sorry ma'am, i wish there was some way i could help..."you can! you can tell them not to hire so many damn foreigners!! there is nothing i hate worse than a damn foreigner!!" *silence as i take her payment and feel horrible for the long line of foreigners that are ready to make purchases*..."you had a purse here two weeks ago...where is it?" describe it to me ma'am..."it's black...with a zipper" ummmmmm...."it looks just like this brown one, only it's black" we sold the last one and we won't be getting any new in...would you like me to see if another store has it? "yes...please! thank you!!" the closest store is in brooklyn..."can they ship it to me? i need it before christmas!!" ummmm....*okay. i am pretty magical and can get the customers ALMOST everything they want...but...BUT...it's 11:45p on a saturday night 3 days before christmas...it's not going to happen.*
FLASH FORWARD today
today is festivus..."a festivus for the rest of us"...and after the night i had i am all for protesting the commercialism and pressures of christmas. so, how exactly does one celebrate festivus?

1. get a festivus pole. it's just an unadorned aluminum pole...
2. prepare a festivus dinner...the meal is important for step 3...it should be turkey or ham followed by a pepperidge farm cake decorated with m&m's
3. the "airing of the grievances": this takes place during the meal. each member of the family takes turns lashing out at everyone for all the disappointments of the past year.
4. festivus miracles: a festivus miracle is an easily explainable event. example? you bump into me at the store..."what are YOU doing here?!" i work here. "it's a festivus miracle!!!"
5. feats of strength: after the festivus meal, the head of household chooses a challenger for the "feats of strength"...a wrestling match. festivus does not end until the head of household is pinned. 

a silly and fun party idea as you prepare for the real deal...a mere 2 days away...