FLASHBACK july/august 2009

"why can't we be friends? why can't we be friends? why can't we be friends? why can't we be friends?"
i'm perfectly content. living in my own little world. in a long distance relationship with bk. i'm still fairly new to facebook, but i know one thing. i do not pay attention to the number of friends i have. i notice that cody has 1,178 friends on facebook. how is that even possible? does he even KNOW 1,178 people? no way? right?! i know i'm right. i think (?).
so now i'm drinking coffee and scrolling thru my news feed and i see a friend of mine...a friend that fancies herself somewhat of a photographer...has changed her profile picture. it's a thumbnail and i'm blind, so i click it. hmmmmm...why is it taking me to her "info" page instead of her wall? and why does it say "request friend" instead of "friends"? OH...MY...GAWD!! she UNFRIENDED me! SHE unfriended ME!! how could she unfriend me?! doesn't she know who i am?! i'm cardinal!! everybody LOVES cardinal!! i'm disgusted! for about 5 minutes. then, i remember how i'm not in high school. i remember how i haven't even seen this chick SINCE high school. i remember we weren't even really friends in high school and her act of "unfriending" me literally has zero impact on my life.
FLASH FORWARD may/june 2012
phillip phillips has just won american idol and i am STOKED! and, because i told everyone i knew he was the winner after the first audition episode, i proudly boast on facebook "PHILLIP PHILLIPS!!!! who called it?!!". after a few snarky comments from friends about what a dork i was, someone wants to argue about why a girl didn't win. i don't care...i liked phillip phillips and i wanted him to win...accomplished. but (s)he really wants to keep talking about it and my phone is exploding with notifications. and, if my phone is exploding with notifications, so are the phones of my other friends that commented. very annoying. "dude!" (i call everybody dude...men...women...children...animals) "dude! seriously...it doesn't matter...i'm done!"...blah blah blah..."dude! what part of 'i am done' don't you understand?!"...blah blah blah. one key stroke...UNFRIENDED.
i get an email from a mutual friend. "dude wants you to know that (s)he is very sorry if the joking got out of hand"...what?  it seems dude doesn't understand why dude was unfriended. why was dude unfriended, you ask? don't you respect that everyone has different opinions, you say? i do respect other people's opinions...true statement...but, in return, i expect them to respect mine. dude was unfriended because i asked dude to stop blowing up my phone and dude continued. dude was unfriended because dude wanted me to respect dude's opinion, but didn't want to return the favor. dude was unfriended because dude revealed his or herself to be...an a$$hole.
FLASH FORWARD today
this morning, while sipping coffee and scrolling thru the newsfeed, i see a friend's status. seems this friend was unfriended by someone (s)he has know for 35 years. there was a difference of opinion, politically. there is a lot of that going on *click here to see a previous post on THAT topic* (s)he had the right attitude..."not my loss".
so, cardinal, do you have any tips on the whole "unfriending" situation? SOOOO glad you asked!! as a matter of fact...I DO!!!

suggestions on how NOT to be unfriended:

• be respectful of your friends' opinions. you can disagree, just don't let it get heated. it's easy to let things get out of hand on social media because you can't see those little telltale signs that your friend is getting upset. 
• choose your words carefully when posting. remember, when posting a status update or comment, that people are reading your words, they aren't hearing them. something you type, dripping in sarcasm, might come across as mean and hurtful to your reader.
• don't be a debbie downer. nobody wants to read about how horrible your life is every single day. this might cause them to unfriend you.
• most importantly...don't be an a$$hole. if someone says "please stop requesting me to play games" or "please stop posting these ridiculous cat pictures on my wall", then stop. to do otherwise would, in fact, make you an a$$hole.

suggestions on whether or not to unfriend:

• ask yourself does this friendship affect your real world life. i mean...do you see this person at work? school? live next door? or is this person a profile pic and words on a screen? not to seem uncaring, but some of our facebook friends are people we will never have contact with outside of facebook. if they upset or annoy you on the regular, and you have no other connection than facebook, do not be afraid to cut the cord. there isn't a contest to see who can have the most facebook friends. well, unless you are going for the guiness world record.
• did this person reveal themselves to be an a$$hole? unfriend...unfriend...unfriend...nobody needs THAT in their life.

suggestions on how to handle being unfriended:

• look at what you may have done to be unfriended. were you sending game requests to people that asked you to stop? were you posting ridiculous cat pictures to my wall? are you an a$$hole? then stop it. stop it or you will be unfriended by other people and you'll be in the guiness book of world records for having the fewest facebook friends, and THAT is just embarrassing. 
• get over it. seriously. like my friend said...not your loss. you are an awesome person, and their life just got worse by cutting you out of it, even if it is "virtual". unless, of course, you are an a$$hole.

HAPPY FACEBOOKING!!!