this bird's tale: FLASHBACK 2006

"lol smiley face...lol smiley face" my uncle~granddaddy passed away. what is an uncle~granddaddy, you ask? well. when YOUR widowed grandma marries her widowed brother in~law, you will understand. so, anyway, back to my story...my uncle~granddaddy passed and i was devastated. he was one of the greatest men you could ever know. my friend sends me a text "i'm so sorry about your uncle~granddaddy...lol". wait? what? lol? why is she "laughing out loud"? i ask her why she sent lol? and what does she think it means, exactly? "it means 'lots of love', doesn't it?". bahahahahahahahaha!!!! NO!!!!! bahahahahahahahaha!!!
FLASH FORWARD 2009
the bk and i are in a long distance relationship. in 2009 it's pretty easy. there is email. there are nightly phone dates. there is the chat function on facebook. and, most importantly, there is texting. with texting you can be in contact. all day. everyday. we are at our respective jobs, texting about our upcoming visit. the bk is full on yelling at me. "WE ARE GOING TO DOC'S". fine. we'll go to doc's. but why are you yelling at me? "I'M NOT YELLING AT YOU". yes. yes you are. "WHY DO YOU THINK I'M YELLING AT YOU?" ummmmm....because you are typing in all caps? that kind of means you're yelling. "no. if i was yelling i would do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".
FLASH FORWARD 2011
a new friend is having a party. we want to go, but we know we will be surrounded by strangers and we are curious if another friend is going. i send a text "will you be at blah blah blah's tonight?". the response? "i certainly hope so! lol". oops. i sent that text to blah blah blah!!!
FLASH FORWARD early 2012
queenie and i are texting back a forth. she is going to see bird and boogie. i tell her to hug them for me. uh oh! auto~correct changed it to HIV. i told queen to HIV them for me!! ugh!
FLASH FORWARD today
not that i don't, occasionally, use an lol or lmao, but mostly i spell everything out now. the days of "text speak" are coming to a close now that iphones and droids allow for more that 140 characters. but caps lock? it is still an important tool for me. i use it a lot in my texts, tweets, facebook statuses, and even here, in my blog. i don't use it to yell at people. i took jamie's advice and use my exclamation points. after all, that was why they were invented, right? i use the caps lock to emphasize a word or phrase. because i want you to hear me talking as you read this. why not just use quotation marks? because quotation marks are for dialog and only D~BAGS use quotation marks when they are trying to "make a point".
some things you should know about texting:
#1~be sure you know what an acronym means before you send it. sending lol to someone who just lost their uncle~granddaddy is NOT cool. unless your name is lisa, and then i will forgive you because i understand that you had no clue what you were saying.
#2~if you use all caps all thru your text, you ARE yelling at people. stop it. unless, of course, you mean to be yelling at them.
#3~proof read your text before hitting send. we have gotten so lazy about our spelling. and why not? auto~correct will check it for us. no need to pay attention. but auto~correct has to guess what you were trying to spell. so take the time to read thru it before you wish HIV on someone.
#4~and, by far, the most important!! make sure you are sending the text to the right person!! imagine if i had sent blah blah blah a text that said "blah blah blah is such a d~bag!".
HAPPY TEXTING!!