do you feel like you've been neglected? have you been coming to my blog, for the past two days, only to see the same tired post since thursday? i am sincerely sorry. but i have good reason. and i would love to share that reason with you.
it starts, first, with...i'm an idiot. and, like any idiot, i'm eager to please. especially if you give me a little praise...or a cookie. i love cookies.
idiot move #1? i got a job. in retail. at the holidays. i applied for a seasonal position and got the job. 30 minutes later, i got a call, from my new supervisor "we have a permanent position available. 10 hours a week...guaranteed. and an option to pick up as many shifts as you want." sure!!! i have not worked less than 25 hours a week since i started. i love my job. i LOVE my job. which leads to idiot move #2. my company allows their employees to control their schedule...don't like a shift you were assigned, post it as available. if someone picks it up you're off the hook. no one picks it up? work it, or lose an attendance point. your choice....so, with black friday coming up, they sent a survey "are you willing to open on black friday?" (11:30p~9:30a). "would you like to split your 10 hour shift in to two 5 hour shifts?"...i pondered...i thought...i thought...i pondered. wouldn't it be better to work overnight on black friday? get it out of the way? YES! i will work the opening shift! split shift? ummmmm....wouldn't it be better to get it over and done with? not have to fight traffic twice? nope. i would not like to split shifts...which brings me to idiot move #3. my supervisor says "you are such an amazing associate! we have been getting a lot of compliments about you!!" wow!! thanks!! i LOVE hearing that!! "wouldn't you love to take a shift for me on saturday (after black friday)? 2:30~ close? i don't even care that it's the michigan game and you have plans..." (okay, she didn't mention the game, but she might as well have!) awwww man!! how can i say no after you just told me how awesome i am?!
black friday. the doors are to open at midnight. at 11:50pm, a manager grabs me...wide~eyed and panicked..."they got in downstairs!" what?! who?! "the people got in!! i'm not sure how!! but they got in!!". so the dj starts playing and the doors open 10 minutes early. the crowd pushes through the doors...they make a mad dash for a stack of boots. there is pushing. there is shoving. there are boxes flying. i see a young girl in tears. "mom...someone just slapped me in the face and took my shoes!!" okay...this is nuts! they line up to pay for their violently acquired boots. they get angry when i tell them their coupon won't work with their purchase. "why the *insert expletive of your choice* not?!" because you are getting those boots cheaper than wholesale. "that's *insert another expletive*". i only have to explain a few times...eventually they all figure it out. the madness lasts another 2 hours. the dj packs up and goes home. we straighten up our departments (people have pushed aside my michael kors handbags like a piece of trash on a park bench). we start to feel the time. we still have 6 more hours before we get off. i feel that if i sit down, during my break, i will fall asleep...so i don't sit. i get some starbucks. i ask for a vat, but the largest size they have is venti. i walk around the mall and watch the people. they are walking around like zombies. no one is talking and no one looks happy. it's 5am. there are people asleep on benches. i don't mean napping. there is snoring. there is drool. FINALLY!! 9:30a arrives!! i clock out. head to cracker barrel for a delicious breakfast. take a 3 hour nap. and begin to put up christmas. the three girls, that opened black friday, are the same three girls that close the following saturday. we spend 7 hours apologizing for being unable to form coherent sentences or do simple math. "what's 20% off $20?" i literally have no idea...where's the calculator? "what's a calculator?" i literally have no idea...
and, that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you haven't had a post from me in two days...:)
^worth fighting over? i think not...^
No comments:
Post a Comment