"dear dear diary...i wanna tell my secrets..."

FLASHBACK 2008

i sign up for facebook, even though my kids don't want me to be THAT mom. i immediately start updating my status. "i'm bored". "why am i up so early?". "i'm cold". ugh. really? is my life really that...boring? i need to spice it up a bit. so in comes the song lyrics and movie quotes. bored? "i thought i had mono for a whole year, once. turns out i was just really bored" (wayne's world). up to early? "i gotta get up eeeaarrllyyy in the mornin'...to find me another lover" (the gap band). cold? "cold? i'm freezing my royal rastafarian nay nays off" (cool runnings).

FLASH FORWARD today

i still use the occasional song lyric or movie quote, but i find it much more entertaining to put a fun spin on my real life: 

"dear old house in the middle of the woods,
why do you wait until Jamie Conover goes to the office before you start creaking and moaning? i'm pretty sure he's convinced it's my imagination or that i am completely insane, but you and i both know you're just mean. i would appreciate it if you would just hush. k?
thanks"

kind of a fun little diary.

today is "dear diary day". people have been keeping diaries, or journals, for simply ever. but, with our hectic lives, we find it difficult to do that much today. oh...but we do find time to send out a tweet or update our facebook statuses. guess what? that's just an electronic version of posting in a diary.

so here are a few words of advice from the self-proclaimed queen of facebook (i'm not really...or maybe i am...but i'm not...but...):

#1~update your status no more than 2 or 3 times, daily. any more than that and you fill up your friend's news feeds and that's kind of irritating. which brings me to:

#2~do you have a friend that is constantly updating their status, constantly complaining, or constantly posting pictures of peanut butter? confine them to a list. simply hover your cursor over their name, hover over "friends", and then uncheck "show in news feed". voila! now you only have to see their rantings when you go to their profile or the list you assigned them to.

#3~remember how i said "fun little diary"? let's keep it fun. your friends don't need to know what you had for dinner, how you prepared it and, then, how long it took to digest. we love you but we really don't need to know EVERYTHING! do not do that to us!

#4~don't post a cryptic status and then refuse to answer when your friends want to know what you're talking about. if you can't say it on facebook, it belongs in an ACTUAL diary, with an ACTUAL lock and key.

#5~don't be a debbie downer. an occasional complaint is fine. "my cat died today. i'm sad.". that is a legit complaint. an important journal entry. your friends want to know and offer sympathy. "life sucks", "i have a migraine", "i hate everybody". posted every single day. really? is your life that bad? probably not. if it is...maybe you should consider seeing a therapist. 

okay people. get out there and celebrate "dear diary day"! happy posting!!