FLASHBACK sometime after 1965

"hark the herald angels sing...."
i can't really tell you how old i was the very first time i watched "a charlie brown christmas", i can just tell you i have watched it every single year since. it just cannot be christmas without it. you can watch all the rudolph and frosty and grinch and shrek you want...if you haven't watched charlie brown, you don't really know what christmas is all about. 47 years after it originally aired, i still get teary~eyed when linus takes that stage and says "and there were, in the same country, shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. and lo, the angel of the lord came upon them, and the glory of the lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. and the angel said unto them, 'fear not: for behold, i bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. for unto you is born this day in the city of david a savior, which is christ the lord. and this shall be a sign unto you; ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' and suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising god, and saying, 'glory to god in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.' that's what christmas is all about, charlie brown." 
*a few things to note next time you watch "charlie brown christmas", and the bk knows because i point them out every year: linus never ever lets go of his security blanket, EXCEPT at the very moment he says "fear not: for behold, i bring you good tidings of great joy"; lucy always calls charlie brown by his full name, EXCEPT right before her rant about christmas being a commercial racket...she just calls him charlie then; pay attention when they are singing "hark the herald angels sing"...#1~all the characters take deep breaths while singing and #2~dirt flies every time pig pen takes a deep breath.

FLASH FORWARD today
i still watch "charlie brown christmas"...and still point out everything i notice even if the bk heard it last year...and the year before that...and the year before that...and the year before that, but i have added a slew of must~watches. so, what other specials and movies make my holiday perfect, you ask? here's my top 10 (in no particular order):

1. a christmas carol (1938): you can catch it on turner classic movies and it will always be my very favorite. it's, obviously, black and white, and a little cheesy. but i dare you not to get choked up when black and white tiny tim says "god bless us, everyone".
2. it's a wonderful life (1946): i know...i know...it makes everybody's list at christmas, but, did you know that it was a flop when it was originally released?
3. a christmas story (1983): everybody loves this movie. EVERYBODY. LOVES. this movie. fun fact? ralphie says he wants a red ryder bb gun 28 times.
4. elf (2003): "the best way to spread christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear". and that's all i have to say about that.
5. scrooged (1988): because nothing says "christmas" like bill murray acting like an a$$ and being terrorized by buster poindexter, carol kane, and bobcat goldthwait.
6. home alone  and home alone 2 (1990 and 1992): because macauley culkin is super cute and joe pesci is hilarious.
7. the santa clause movies (1994, 2002, 2006): don't judge me...
8. miracle on 34th street (1947): watch the original...the santa is better. trust me. 
9. christmas vacation (1989): clark griswold reminds me of my dad...he tries to make everything, from vacations to christmas, perfect. and my dad takes great pride in his holiday decorations. 
10. nightmare before christmas (1993): tim burton. that is all. 

of course, i will be watching all of the specials. rudolph the red~nosed reindeer. frosty the snowman. and anything that comes on abc family's 25 days of christmas...bring some popcorn (i'll provide the hot chocolate) and join me?

                         

FLASHBACK thanksgiving 2011

"turkey lurkey dee and turkey lurkey doo...i eat turkey in a big brown shoe"
the bk and i decide we can't go home for thanksgiving. it's all good...we'll cook our own thanksgiving dinner and have plenty of leftovers! turkey...dressing...sweet potatoes...green bean casserole...pumpkin pie. more food than any two people could ever eat in a month. EVER. by monday, we swear we never want to see another turkey. ever. again.
FLASH FORWARD today
today is throw out your leftovers day. even though thanksgiving was EXACTLY one week ago, many of you, probably, have leftover turkey and dressing lurking in the back of your fridge. you probably nibbled on it the entire weekend and craved pizza on monday. you had turkey sandwiches...turkey pot pies...turkey soup. you ate entire birthday pumpkin pies. or maybe that was just me? *note: i don't get birthday cake...i always get birthday pumpkin pie, and this year i didn't even have to share with anyone. except the bk did get two pieces* anyhow, 7 days is FAR too long to be enjoying that turkey salad. the mayo clinic recommends tossing leftovers after 4 days to avoid food borne illness. according to the cdc,  1 in 6 people (that's 48 million!!) get sick and 3000 people die from food borne illnesses each year. so how do you protect yourself? follow these tips:

• toss leftovers after 4 days
• immediately freeze any leftovers you KNOW you won't eat right away
• don't let perishable foods (meat, poultry, fish, dairy, eggs) sit at room temperature for more than 2 hours
• eat or refrigerate uncooked foods promptly
• heat leftovers on stove, in oven, or in microwave until internal temp reaches 165 degrees
• remember: when in doubt throw it out

           

                                      

FLASHBACK 1986

"making christmas...making christmas...la la laaaa...."
my first christmas as a grown~up. finally!! i get to decorate the way I want. we can't afford a big, beautiful tree...so a 4 foot artificial tree it is. i get all new decorations. no traditional christmas colors for this gal. peach and gray balls. peach and gray ribbons. peach flowers everywhere. that tree looked as if it threw up peaches. bleck!!
FLASH FORWARD christmas 1987~2008
my parent's have been getting me a hallmark ornament, each year, for simply ever. i have a great little collection. now they are getting them for my boys. they put lots of thought into their choice for each person. and the boys are excited to see what they will get (they still are...they were extremely upset the one year the grandparents thought they should stop!). it was getting out of control...enough ornaments to fill two trees...but, fortunately, most hallmark ornaments are self~standing and can be set around the house (i stick them in odd little nooks you would never expect to see a touch of christmas).
FLASH FORWARD 2009
during the divorce, i went thru all the christmas decorations. i gave each boy a bag full of the ornaments they had been given over their 19~22 christmases. then, i equally divided the rest between me and the ex. in a matter of an hour, i went from two trees full of ornaments to barely enough for one! ack! the bk and i don't need the hallmark ornaments this year...we have a vintage aluminum tree passed down from his grandmother (it is carefully wrapped in newspaper from 1963).
FLASH FORWARD today
the bk and i are busy bees...getting our new place ready for the holiday. a new, pre~lit, slimmer tree sits in our front window. why not the aluminum tree? it's huge! and would require us to move all the furniture out of our front room...where would we sit? why not live? too much trouble to get it up...and then back down...the stairs to our upstairs nest. plus, it's better for the environment to leave the trees in the ground...right? right. 8 stockings line our mantle. yes. i said 8 stockings. even though the 6 kids we have, between us, are grown...and a traditional christmas morning is just us (and the dog. and the cat)...we hang their stockings, from oldest to youngest, and fill them with silly stocking stuffers (slinkies and mt dew flavored chapstick, anyone?). the skeletons have their santa hats on...yep. you heard right. and the hallmark ornaments? they are adorning our new tree...and the fireplace...and any other spot i can find for them...

     

^2010...we went for the live version^

         

^everyone gets in the spirit^

                                 

FLASHBACK 2002

"you put your chocolate in my peanut butter...you put your chocolate in my peanut butter"
i haven't always been terrified of peanut butter. oh. i've always hated peanut butter. HATED peanut butter. but not AFRAID peanut butter. why do i hate peanut butter? it doesn't taste like peanuts. AT ALL. it looks like it belongs in a baby diaper. seriously. and it grows when you put it in mouth. yes, it does!! it grows and gets stuck on the rook of your mouth...and then you can't swallow. or breathe. and you think you're gonna die. you think i'm exaggerating. i am not. but, as much as i hate peanut butter, i was never afraid of it...until. until my kids saw a very special clip from cky, the guys that, eventually, brought us jackass. that clip, "rake yohn hates mustard", inspired them to attack me with peanut butter. it started with a simple finger of peanut butter to the face. GROSS!!! then, the onslaught began. walk in the house...get a face full of peanut butter. walk out of the bathroom...get a face full of peanut butter. stand at the stove, cooking dinner...get a face full of peanut butter. i. am now. legitimately. afraid of peanut butter. 
FLASH FORWARD september 2010
i have the hiccups. it's horrible. bridgette says "a spoonful of peanut butter will get rid of them." i am not letting peanut butter anywhere near me. "fine. just sit over there hiccuping." ugh! this is super annoying! so...i suck it up. jamie covers my eyes and bridgette sticks a spoonful of peanut butter in my mouth. it tastes HORRIBLE!! i start crying. the hiccups go away. "see! we told you it would work!" it only worked because i was AFRAID i was going to choke to death!!
FLASH FORWARD summer 2011
we go to the links' for cocktails and a fire. lance is baking cookies. humongous cookies! they look like biscuits, really. when he brings them out by the fire, they smell delicious. and everybody knows there is nothing better than a warm cookie fresh from the oven. so i grab a "biscuit" and take a bite. it's not bad...not my favorite, but not bad...what kind of biscuit is this? "peanut butter". WHAT?!!!???!!! it. did not. taste like peanut butter.
FLASH FORWARD today
november is peanut butter lover's month. i still don't like peanut butter...unless it's in the form of a biscuit...but i don't begrudge people the right to love it. so celebrate~you lover's of skippy or jif. have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. or a reese's cup. or a buckeye. and try this recipe...which i hear is delicious, but i will never try :)

BUCKEYES

ingredients:
1 1/2 cups peanut butter
1 cup softened butter
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
6 cups confectioner's sugar
4 cups semi~sweet chocolate chips

mix together peanut butter, softened butter, vanilla extract, and confectioner's sugar. roll into 1inch balls and place on cookie sheet lined with wax paper. place a toothpick into the top of each ball and chill in freezer for 30 minutes, or until firm. melt chocolate chips in a double boiler, stirring frequently. using toothpick as a handle, dip each ball into chocolate, leaving a small amount of peanut butter showing at the top. place back on cookie sheet and chill in refrigerator until ready to serve.  makes 5 dozen.

                

^3 pranksters^

                ^peanut butter terrorizer

FLASHBACK december 2007

"shopping online for deals on some writable media...i edit wikipedia" 
it's christmas time...noah's girlfriend hands me a package and she's clearly embarrassed. she is apologizing before i even open it. it's a "sweeney todd" candle holder and candlestick. "it said it was wood! i thought it was hand~carved!" it's really cool, i love it. "but it's made out of a beer bottle! i wish i had time to go get something else!!" i can guarantee i won't get another gift like this! i really do love it, and you know it's the thought that counts!! and...ps...i still have it...
FLASH FORWARD today
everybody has been scammed while online shopping at one time or another. the picture and description makes an item seem so much better than it is. in general, it's items found on ebay or craig's list that are the culprits. but, it can happen with major sites, as well. i once bought a chess set, for the ex, on jc penney's site. it wasn't available in store, and as soon as it arrived i knew why! it said it was resin pieces with an oak board...it meant the BOTTOM of the pieces was resin and the board was STAINED an oak color! ugh...but things have gotten much better and many more people are doing their shopping online. why? because they can do it from the comfort of their own home. because it gets shipped to their home, or office, and can come already wrapped. and, because they can find better deals just by typing a number into a search engine.
so, maybe, you took a turkey nap and slept through all the black friday deals? or, should i say BLACK THURSDAY? maybe, like me, you worked black friday and just wanted to sleep when you clocked out? possibly, you simply refused to go anywhere near a mall? no big deal...today was designed just for you. IT'S CYBER MONDAY!!! today is the day to get all the super deals online shopping has to offer and i'm gonna tell you about the best ones!

SEARS: up to 50% off, plus an extra 10%, winter coats, scarves, gloves, hats, and holiday dresses. 
AMAZON: save up to $200 on a cannon dslr lense
KHOL'S: 20% off all purchase and free shipping
MACY'S: various sales on all items...free shipping on purchases $50 or more
JC PENNEY: free shipping with no minimum purchase
WALMART: samsung 55" 1080p class lcd smart 3d hdtv - $1498 ($1,000 savings)
TARGET: nikon coolpix l610 16mp digital with 14X optical zoom $149 (save $100)

happy shopping!!

ALL APOLOGIES

"what else should i be? all apologies..."
do you feel like you've been neglected? have you been coming to my blog, for the past two days, only to see the same tired post since thursday? i am sincerely sorry. but i have good reason. and i would love to share that reason with you. 
it starts, first, with...i'm an idiot. and, like any idiot, i'm eager to please. especially if you give me a little praise...or a cookie. i love cookies. 
idiot move #1? i got a job. in retail. at the holidays. i applied for a seasonal position and got the job. 30 minutes later, i got a call, from my new supervisor "we have a permanent position available. 10 hours a week...guaranteed. and an option to pick up as many shifts as you want." sure!!! i have not worked less than 25 hours a week since i started. i love my job. i LOVE my job. which leads to idiot move #2. my company allows their employees to control their schedule...don't like a shift you were assigned, post it as available. if someone picks it up you're off the hook. no one picks it up? work it, or lose an attendance point. your choice....so, with black friday coming up, they sent a survey "are you willing to open on black friday?" (11:30p~9:30a). "would you like to split your 10 hour shift in to two 5 hour shifts?"...i pondered...i thought...i thought...i pondered. wouldn't it be better to work overnight on black friday? get it out of the way? YES! i will work the opening shift! split shift? ummmmm....wouldn't it be better to get it over and done with? not have to fight traffic twice? nope. i would not like to split shifts...which brings me to idiot move #3. my supervisor says "you are such an amazing associate! we have been getting a lot of compliments about you!!" wow!! thanks!! i LOVE hearing that!! "wouldn't you love to take a shift for me on saturday (after black friday)? 2:30~ close? i don't even care that it's the michigan game and you have plans..." (okay, she didn't mention the game, but she might as well have!) awwww man!! how can i say no after you just told me how awesome i am?!
black friday. the doors are to open at midnight. at 11:50pm, a manager grabs me...wide~eyed and panicked..."they got in downstairs!" what?! who?! "the people got in!! i'm not sure how!! but they got in!!". so the dj starts playing and the doors open 10 minutes early. the crowd pushes through the doors...they make a mad dash for a stack of boots. there is pushing. there is shoving. there are boxes flying. i see a young girl in tears. "mom...someone just slapped me in the face and took my shoes!!" okay...this is nuts! they line up to pay for their violently acquired boots. they get angry when i tell them their coupon won't work with their purchase. "why the *insert expletive of your choice* not?!" because you are getting those boots cheaper than wholesale. "that's *insert another expletive*". i only have to explain a few times...eventually they all figure it out. the madness lasts another 2 hours. the dj packs up and goes home. we straighten up our departments (people have pushed aside my michael kors handbags like a piece of trash on a park bench). we start to feel the time. we still have 6 more hours before we get off. i feel that if i sit down, during my break, i will fall asleep...so i don't sit.  i get some starbucks. i ask for a vat, but the largest size they have is venti. i walk around the mall and watch the people. they are walking around like zombies. no one is talking and no one looks happy. it's 5am. there are people asleep on benches. i don't mean napping. there is snoring. there is drool. FINALLY!! 9:30a arrives!! i clock out. head to cracker barrel for a delicious breakfast. take a 3 hour nap. and begin to put up christmas. the three girls, that opened black friday, are the same three girls that close the following saturday. we spend 7 hours apologizing for being unable to form coherent sentences or do simple math.  "what's 20% off $20?" i literally have no idea...where's the calculator? "what's a calculator?" i literally have no idea...
and, that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you haven't had a post from me in two days...:)

^worth fighting over? i think not...^