FLASHBACK november 2012i blogged, word for word, the following:
"you put your chocolate in my peanut butter...you put your chocolate in my peanut butter"
FLASHBACK 2002
i haven't always been terrified of peanut butter. oh. i've always hated peanut butter. HATED peanut butter. but not AFRAID peanut butter. why do i hate peanut butter? it doesn't taste like peanuts. AT ALL. it looks like it belongs in a baby diaper. seriously. and it grows when you put it in mouth. yes, it does!! it grows and gets stuck on the roof of your mouth...and then you can't swallow. or breathe. and you think you're gonna die. you think i'm exaggerating. i am not. but, as much as i hate peanut butter, i was never afraid of it...until. until my kids saw a very special clip from cky, the guys that, eventually, brought us jackass. that clip, "rake yohn hates mustard", inspired them to attack me with peanut butter. it started with a simple finger of peanut butter to the face. GROSS!!! then, the onslaught began. walk in the house...get a face full of peanut butter. walk out of the bathroom...get a face full of peanut butter. stand at the stove, cooking dinner...get a face full of peanut butter. i. am now. legitimately. afraid of peanut butter.
FLASH FORWARD september 2010
i have the hiccups. it's horrible. bridgette says "a spoonful of peanut butter will get rid of them." i am not letting peanut butter anywhere near me. "fine. just sit over there hiccuping." ugh! this is super annoying! so...i suck it up. jamie covers my eyes and bridgette sticks a spoonful of peanut butter in my mouth. it tastes HORRIBLE!! i start crying. the hiccups go away. "see! we told you it would work!" it only worked because i was AFRAID i was going to choke to death!!
FLASH FORWARD august 16~17,2013
i make a batch of peanut butter cookies, for the bk, and blog about my experience and the recipe. the recipe makes 4 dozen cookies, and there are only two of us. only one of us is weird enough to eat them, so i take most of them to work. the questions begin: why don't you like peanut butter? you can't eat it at all?!! WHAT?! what do you mean you're scared of it?! turns out, i'm not the only person with a fear of food. we start a list. first, cottage cheese. cottage cheese makes the list three times. THREE?! i'll admit i hate cottage cheese. HATE IT!! but scared of it? why is it scary? all three women point out it's slimy. and lumpy. and just plain gross. one says she can't eat stouffer's lasagna because the ricotta cheese reminds her of cottage cheese. then, anchovies. again, i hate anchovies. HATE THEM. they're salty. and fishy. and ruin a perfectly good pizza. but i'm not scared of them. when i ask why they're scary all the girl does is shudder. the next response? raisins. RAISINS? what? why?
"because they look like bugs. bugs." omg!! THEY DO!! they do look like bugs!! ack!!
turns out, i'm not alone in my food phobia. it's a thing. cibophobia is the fear of food, in general. it is, often, confused with anorexia because people who suffer cibophobia will be seen avoiding foods. they usually avoid foods that they consider risky, like mayonnaise. why is mayo risky? it can spoil. can you imagine a mouthful of spoiled mayo? bleck. i avoid peanut butter for ALL the reasons mentioned above. and, i learned i suffer from arachibutyrophobia, the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth. there is no name for the other reasons i'm scared of peanut butter. but at least i know i'm not alone.
so...how do you know you have a fear of food and not a simple dislike? if you get nauseous, shaky, dizzy, or get heart palpitations you have a fear. if you look at cottage cheese and simply say "gross", you probably just don't like it.
what about a cure? supposedly, if you gradually expose yourself to the food you will, eventually, get over your fear. okay. no. this is not true. i have tried, on multiple occasions, to get over my fear *see above hiccup incident* and dislike. it's not happening. and i figure i lived this all these years without peanut butter in my life...i can last a few 30 or 40 more.
ps...the fear of raisins. yeah. it's called inyaphobia. it's a real thing, too...
