not so MANIC MONDAY

REPEAT: BECAUSE OCTOBER IS "ADOPT A SHELTER DOG MONTH"

"dogs are everywhere almost everywhere i go..."

FLASHBACK october 2007
rufus appears on our deck, early one fall morning.

FLASH FORWARD january 2008
first came charlie. cody and his girlfriend went to the local animal shelter and came home with a huge puppy. HUGE puppy. charlie is collie/st. bernard mix. and he's scared of everything. i call him the cowardly lion.
then came maddie. she's tiny. she looks like a mutant chihuahua. her paws are HUMONGOUS. we are told she is pit. as she gets bigger it's clear she isn't. she's greyhound/english pointer mix. she is a princess. she rules the house with an iron fist. rufus could care less. charlie bows down to her highness.

FLASH FORWARD today
maddie lives with me and bk now. no dogs to boss around. no boys to boss around. and bk refuses to be bossed around. she attempts to boss e'beth around...e'beth reminds her that she is, in fact, the queen. she is an amazing dog. she is loving. she is calm. she rarely barks. she does have her issues: #1~she still thinks she's a chihuahua (but why CAN'T i sit in your lap?)...#2~she hates when she is sent to time~out (yes, she gets time~outs, and, just like any kid, she tries to get out early...maddie's version? military crawls out of the room)...and #3~she firmly believes in "no means no" (so a word to all male dogs...keep your distance...she will punch you in the throat).
october is "adopt a shelter dog" month. we've all seen the commercials. sarah mclachlan sitting there, with her healthy yellow lab, making us cry over all these sad, abused animals. well, she's giving you some important facts...according to the aspca,  5~7 million companion animals enter shelters each year and 3~4 million are euthanized. 25% of dogs in shelters are purebred. and only 10% of animals, received in shelters, have been spayed or neutered. so, why listen to sarah and ADOPT a shelter dog? for one thing, you will be saving a life. the number of dogs being euthanized would be reduced drastically, if more people adopted rather than purchase from a pet store. your pet will, most likely, be healthier. most shelters examine and vaccinate animals when they are dropped off. and, often, they will spay/neuter the animal at adoption. and this also means...you'll save money. think about it...the cost of the adoption fee including first shots, and spay/neutering (go purchase a pet from a breeder or pet store and try to get a deal like that!)? and, don't forget, studies show that pet owners live happier, healthier, lives. so basically, you've saved 2 lives (the shelter dog and your own!!).
adopt a shelter dog...it does the body good...

**Update to gallery...our newest shelter dog**

                      

 

               

 

need help finding a shelter or rescue near you? check out petfinder.com

FLASHBACK 1995

*iA repeat because it's necessary...."

"i can see the russian army rollin' thru my head..."
the kids are at school. it's a beautiful fall day. i've cleaned the house...finished the laundry...gone to the grocery store. i have a few hours before the boys bust in from school. maybe i'll read a book? watch a movie? and then...flashing lights in the corner of my eye. i look at my dog. i can only see half her face. what?!! this is weird. i spend the rest of the day in bed...my head buried under a blanket to keep out the light. if i move...at all...i run to the bathroom to blow chunks. i am experiencing what samantha stephens mother-in-law used to call "a sick headache". UGH!!!
FLASH FORWARD september 29, 2012
the bk and i have a relaxing morning. noon (ish) we go into town for the applefest. we duck into the paddock for lunch. hmmmm...mel's face his blurry. i never noticed she had a blurry face before? i have no advil migraine (it's solubilized ibuprofen, which means it gets in your system faster than regular ibuprofen)...this is not good. i text danno..."please have advil or the osu game is gonna suck for me!". he meets me at the door with 3 advil and a promise to turn the music down during commercials. you went to the game day party with a migraine, you ask? ummmmm...yeah...i'm no scarlet!! 

as a migraine sufferer who refuses prescription drugs as much as possible...i have a little advice:

#1~advil migraine really works...and doesn't upset my stomach. it doesn't contain caffeine, which can help but can, also, be a culprit when it's in high doses...
#2~a trick my daddy suggested...and it really works...ICE CREAM!!! not long after he mentioned this i noticed the beginnings of a migraine (flashing lights, blurred vision, an adversity to light) and the bk bought me the biggest chocolate malt united dairy farmers has to offer. KABOOM!! problem solved. maybe it was the cold on my brain...maybe it was the caffeine in the chocolate...i don't know and i don't care. the full on migraine was averted AND i had a tasty treat!
#3~get to a dark room and nap. i really need to purchase a sleep mask but, until then, i just wrap my favorite blanket around my eyes.
and finally...
#4~stay off your computer!!! even if you've taken meds, the light and all the colors and words on your computer screen will strain you eyes, making the migraine 45000X worse than it needs to be.
and, last but not least:
#5~be a scarlet and skip game day. you don't want to be a debbie downer, and besides, you need to be following rule #3...

 

"dear dear diary...i wanna tell my secrets..."

FLASHBACK 2008

i sign up for facebook, even though my kids don't want me to be THAT mom. i immediately start updating my status. "i'm bored". "why am i up so early?". "i'm cold". ugh. really? is my life really that...boring? i need to spice it up a bit. so in comes the song lyrics and movie quotes. bored? "i thought i had mono for a whole year, once. turns out i was just really bored" (wayne's world). up to early? "i gotta get up eeeaarrllyyy in the mornin'...to find me another lover" (the gap band). cold? "cold? i'm freezing my royal rastafarian nay nays off" (cool runnings).

FLASH FORWARD today

i still use the occasional song lyric or movie quote, but i find it much more entertaining to put a fun spin on my real life: 

"dear old house in the middle of the woods,
why do you wait until Jamie Conover goes to the office before you start creaking and moaning? i'm pretty sure he's convinced it's my imagination or that i am completely insane, but you and i both know you're just mean. i would appreciate it if you would just hush. k?
thanks"

kind of a fun little diary.

today is "dear diary day". people have been keeping diaries, or journals, for simply ever. but, with our hectic lives, we find it difficult to do that much today. oh...but we do find time to send out a tweet or update our facebook statuses. guess what? that's just an electronic version of posting in a diary.

so here are a few words of advice from the self-proclaimed queen of facebook (i'm not really...or maybe i am...but i'm not...but...):

#1~update your status no more than 2 or 3 times, daily. any more than that and you fill up your friend's news feeds and that's kind of irritating. which brings me to:

#2~do you have a friend that is constantly updating their status, constantly complaining, or constantly posting pictures of peanut butter? confine them to a list. simply hover your cursor over their name, hover over "friends", and then uncheck "show in news feed". voila! now you only have to see their rantings when you go to their profile or the list you assigned them to.

#3~remember how i said "fun little diary"? let's keep it fun. your friends don't need to know what you had for dinner, how you prepared it and, then, how long it took to digest. we love you but we really don't need to know EVERYTHING! do not do that to us!

#4~don't post a cryptic status and then refuse to answer when your friends want to know what you're talking about. if you can't say it on facebook, it belongs in an ACTUAL diary, with an ACTUAL lock and key.

#5~don't be a debbie downer. an occasional complaint is fine. "my cat died today. i'm sad.". that is a legit complaint. an important journal entry. your friends want to know and offer sympathy. "life sucks", "i have a migraine", "i hate everybody". posted every single day. really? is your life that bad? probably not. if it is...maybe you should consider seeing a therapist. 

okay people. get out there and celebrate "dear diary day"! happy posting!!

                 

 

NO FLASHBACK TODAY

REPEAT because today is LOVE YOUR PET DAY

"and they called it 'puppy love'..."

i saw this today on facebook and it touched my heart. and because i KNOW so many of you are dog lovers, i just had to share.

10 THINGS YOUR DOG WOULD TELL YOU.... 

1. my life is likely to last 10 to 15 years. any separation from you will be painful: remember that before you get me. 
2. give me time to understand what you want of me. 
3. place your trust in me- it is crucial to my well being.
4. do not be angry at me for long, and do not lock me up as punishment.
5. you have your work, your entertainment,and your friends. i only have you.
6. talk to me sometimes. even if i don't understand your words, i understand your voice when it is speaking to me. 
7. be aware that how ever you treat me, i will never forget. 
8. remember before you hit me that i have teeth that could easily hurt you, but i choose not to bite you because i love you. 
9. before you scold me for being uncooperative,obstinate,or lazy, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. perhaps i might not be getting the right food, or i have been out too long, or my heart is getting to old and weak.
10. take care of me when i get old; you too will grow old. go with me on difficult journeys. never say: "i cannot bear to watch" or "let it happen in my absence." everything is easier for me if you are there, even my death. 

remember that i love you.

now go hug your dog!! or cat...or hamster...or fish! 

ps...i searched all over for the original poster or author and could not find it...

FLASHBACK valentine's day 2012

REPEAT: originally posted to provide christmas gift options, but valentine's day is only 10 days away. if you're too lazy to make this super easy gift, you can always buy one of the gifts i've linked...extra bonus: a hilarious video of ideas!!
"there's the strangest excitement today...if you're awake then you're welcome to hear...i got a gift and it blew me away" 
the bk and i don't really do valentine's gifts...#1~i hate roses. i HATE roses. not knocking you girls that love them, they just aren't for me...and #2~what do you get someone that feels like they have everything?...besides. st valentine's day is about celebrating love. so we do just that. this year we get up before the sun and go to valentine's day breakfast. we are the only people in cracker barrel at 6am, when it opens. we sit by a crackling fire...sip on bottomless cups of hot coffee...and i get to hear about how beautiful i am with no make~up, a messy bun and my glasses on...
but, the bk is unaware of something. i have tucked a small gift in his work bag. something i know he doesn't have. and something i'm sure he will think is stupid, but i do it anyway. i found it on pinterest...a book made of playing cards entitled "52 reasons i heart jamie"...
all you need:

• a full deck of cards (preferably worn and tattered, but you can rough new ones up with sand paper)
• a black sharpie marker (or a computer and printer labels if you're too lazy to write)
• labels
• a hole punch
• binder rings
• your brain

make a cover for your book with the jokers and simply write the title on one with your marker. use your brain (and heart) to come up with 52 reasons why you love him/her. write them on the labels and attach one label to each card (fronts only). punch two holes in each card (make sure they are aligned). and clip together with binder rings. voila!!!

FLASH FORWARD today

we are only 23 days away from christmas...every year it gets harder and harder for me to find the PERFECT gift for my bk. and i know it's gets harder for him. our answer every time one of us asks "what would you like for christmas?"? i have everything i need. which is completely true. this year got a little easier for him...my day job has turned me into a bit of a handbag queen. truth is...i always have been, but i've always been able to find the trendy bags for very cheap (let's not talk about how) so i refuse to pay full price for a designer bag. so, when macy's had their friend's and family sale, this week, i got a michael kors bedford bowling satchel. eek!! merry christmas to cardinal!! but, now...NOW!!...i have to find the bk the PERFECT gift. and he is still saying "i have everything i need/want". DILEMMA!! i m sure many of you are in the same boat so, i googled ideas and found these great gift ideas for under $100:

PARA ÉL:

j. crew classic spread collar shirt: $68 (reg $88); because every guy needs a classic white button up in his closet...

sunspel boxers: $39: come on...your guy needs to get out of the tighty whities...and you don't want to get him hanes at christmas!!

kenneth cole new york watch: $95; help him keep track of the time this christmas so he's not late for the schmancy fancy holiday party!!

art of shaving chrome futura safety razor: $95; because it's no longer NoShavember!!

coach bleeker bull usb keyring: $98; it's a keyring AND a 4GB usb flash drive...cool

                 

                           

         

PARA ELLA:

coach madison op art sateen large wristlet: $98; because sometimes all we need is a lip gloss, a credit card, and our cell phone.

michael kors holiday watch key fob: $48; because, if you aren't gonna have a jag in the driveway on christmas morning, at least make our keys look fancy!

guess multichain bracelet watch: $85; cause it's a watch AND a bracelet!

victoria's secret pillow talk tank pajama: $49.50; because we like to be cute when we lounge around...bonus! free slippers with every pair!

lady gaga fame perfume gift set: $84; because every girl should smell like a rock star...(actually, i wear this and it smells delicious..)

                   

 

                          

happy shopping!!!

FLASHBACK 2737 bc

BECAUSE IT'S TOTALLY WORTH REPEATING...
"you get tea when it's raining, tea when it's snowing. tea when the weather's fine..."
rumor has it that tea is discovered by chinese emperor, shan nong. supposedly, this emperor likes to boil his drinking water...which, if you watch survivorman at all, you know this is a good idea...and, one day, while strolling thru the gardens, a few tea leaves fall in his mug. KABOOM!! tea inventor! (all of this MUST be true...i read it on the internet. here and also here. )
FLASH FORWARD today
today is a brrrrrr chilly rabbit sort of day. a day where you get hypothermia just looking out the window. it's the perfect day for snuggling in with a great read...or a horrible lifetime movie...and sipping on a nice...hot...cup of tea. and what a perfect month to do that...it just happens to be national hot tea month!

             

^i'm telling you...brrrr chilly rabbit!^

so, you don't know the first thing about hot tea? or how to enjoy it? the following is a list of the different types and their health benefits. yes. i said HEALTH benefits!

• GREEN TEA: this is made with steamed tea leaves. it contains the most ECGC, an antioxidant known as as a flavanoid. green tea's antioxidants are thought to interfere with the growth of some cancers. specifically: bladder, breast, lung, colorectal, and stomach cancers. it is, also, thought to help burn fat. BONUS!!! plus, it's delicious. 
• BLACK TEA: this is made with fermented tea leaves. it contains the most caffeine. studies show that black tea may protect lungs from the damage caused by cigarette smoke. don't ask me how...i'm not gonna do that much research. also. it's delicious.
• WHITE TEA: this is uncured and unfermented. again, it's antioxidants have been credited with preventing cancers. it is, also, thought to lower blood pressure and cholesterol. ummmm...i have never ever tried white tea, so it might suck. but i imagine it's delicious!
• OOLONG TEA: this is a semi~fermented tea. it has been credited to lower bad cholesterol levels. and, it has been marketed as a weight loss supplement but no studies have substantiated this claim. again...delicious!

the best way to enjoy hot tea? well...some people add sugar. some people add cream. some people float a nice slice of lemon. there is NO wrong way. i, personally, enjoy a flavored tea, with a bit of splenda , while snuggled on the couch, covered in my nightmare before christmas blanket. 

                                   

not so MANIC MONDAY

 "trick or treat...trick or treat...the bitter and the sweet..."

FLASHBACK 1974
halloween. so much fun in oxnard. daddy spends the day getting the house ready for a party. an album with ghostly moans and groans plays in the background. dry ice, in an iron bucket, gives the house a fog~filled look. lil bro, queenie, and i. all dressed up for trick~or~treat. all the houses are decorated...some scarier than others. we get all the best treats. snickers. baby ruth. double bubble bubble gum. homemade cookies. and, my absolute favorite, popcorn balls!!!! mom and rikki get their wine glasses re~filled every other stop. perfect night.
FLASH FORWARD 1993
i take the kids to a carnival at school. cody had just seen "nightmare before christmas" and wants to be jack skellington. i work my tail off on his costume. it even includes jack's dog, zero, floating behind. he wins a costume contest and gets a gigantic snicker bar. i don't get pictures because i'll get them tomorrow night, with all the kids, when we go trick~or~treating. cody wakes up, the next morning. "i don't wanna be jack...i wanna be hong kong phooey." are you flippin kidding me right now?! fine. and i go about trying to make dog ears. "i don't wanna be hong kong phooey...i wanna be a ghostbuster". really?! i begin to make a proton pack. it's time to go now. cody comes out in his "barney" pajamas. ugh. he still gets the best treats. snickers. baby ruth. hubba bubba bubble gum. and homemade popcorn balls from a woman, EVERYBODY in town knows, who also offers pre~packaged candy just in case the parents are afraid she might have poisoned the popcorn. boo.
FLASH FORWARD 2009

oops! last year, i agreed to go trick~or~treating with emma. i'm a witch...she's my cat. back in july, she starts talking about what we'll be this year. i leave it completely up to her...as long as i get to be cute. the bk and i have a party after, and we're going as pirates. emma doesn't want to be a pirate. okay. i can still do this. emma calls me. "we are going as the scooby~doo gang. i'm daphne". that means...ummmmm...that means i have to be VELMA! velma is NOT cute. emma gets the best treats. snickers. baby ruth. hubba bubba bubble gum (why doesn't anyone give out double bubble anymore?). but gone are the homemade cookies. and gone, forever, are the homemade popcorn balls. 
for obvious reasons, october is halloween safety month. so, i have a few tips for you and your kids:

#1~costumes: wear well~fitting shoes, costumes, and masks. this will help avoid blocked vision, trips, and falls. swords, knives, should be short, soft, and flexible. also, there should be some reflective tape on bags and costumes...this will help drivers see you. and avoid walking near candles or luminaries so that your costume doesn't, accidentally, catch fire. and test any make~up you will use on a small area of skin. it would totally suck to remove the make~up , at the end of the night, only to find you were allergic to it the whole time. ugh. 
#2~trick~or~treating: go with a group or trusted adult. never ever ever go alone. carry a flashlight, to help others see you and to help you see. and walk, don't run. try to use sidewalks and crosswalks whenever possible. only go to well~lit houses, and never enter a home without a trusted adult. and don't forget about stranger danger! DO NOT ACCEPT RIDES FROM STRANGERS!!
#3~the treats: examine all treats before eating. look for choking hazards and tampering. if it's open, toss it. the cdc recommends only eating factory wrapped treats and avoiding homemade goodies made by strangers.

a bit of information about #3. there are millions of stories, told by your friends, that go kind of like this: my friend's sister's boyfriend's cousin's girlfriend's mom's friend's daughter's teacher's son *insert halloween urban legend here*. maybe it was poison popcorn balls, razor blade filled apples, drug laced pixie stix. i did a bit of research...the drug laced pixie stix actually happened, but, as it turns out, the father of the boy that died was the culprit. he murdered the boy, in 1974, for insurance money and made it appear to be a madman passing out the candy. the razor blades in the apples? kind of false. oh, there were reports. but no one was ever taken to the hospital with an injury. and, there is some question as to how the razor blades got there...even some reports say the parents, or child, may have done it as a hoax. so my advice here: although it's always better to err on the side of safety, don't flip out if your kid comes in eating a homemade popcorn ball you didn't realize they had. the chances that it's poisoned are really non~existent. 
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

a gallery of awesome halloween costumes: