Epic Fail

"Five little pumpkins sitting on a gate, first one says "Oh my, it's getting late"  

The BK and I don't have any children, at home, but that doesn't mean we don't like to carve a mean pumpkin...So we drive all over the county to find the best pumpkins we can. The BK decides, maybe, we should roast some pumpkin seeds. I'm not a huge fan, but I find a couple recipes on Pinterest. Mmmmmmm...Cinnamon Glazed Pumpkin Seeds sound uh~maz~zuh~ing! 

On a cold, rainy, fall Tuesday, we begin the carving process. And I begin the roasting process:

Step 1:

After digging the guts out of old Jack, place the seeds in a bowl of hot water. This makes it easier to get all the stringy guck off your seeds...

Step 2: 

Spread your seeds on a baking sheet and allow to dry overnight.

Step 3: 

Transfer your seeds to a mixing bowl...coat with 1 tbs of olive oil and add 3 tsp cinnamon and 1/4 cup of sweetener, combine well. *Note: the original poster used Truvia Baking Blend, but I chose to use Sugar in the Raw. 

Step 4:

Spread seeds, evenly, on baking sheet and bake in a 310 degree oven for 30 minutes. Spread seeds around, and bake for an additional 15 minutes.

(I will admit a gigantic screw up...I read 3 tbsp on cinnamon instead of tsp! So I added a bit more olive oil and sugar. )

This was an epic fail. Epic. Fail. Oh, the cinnamon and sugar glaze tasted delicious...the seeds, however, had the texture of cardboard. I did a little digging around...it seems like the oven should've been set at 300 degrees and the seeds stirred more often. 

If you want to try this recipe, for yourself, you can find the original recipe here...
Maybe your attempt will be a success!!

                                 

WAY BACK WEDNESDAY

"you make me smile with my heart"

FLASHBACK (probably) mid~february 270 AD
version one: emperor claudius II decides that single men make better soldiers than men with wives and families. he outlaws marriage for young men. a priest, named valentine, defies the emperor and performs secret marriages. when he is discovered, claudius orders that valentine be put to death.
version two: valentine is imprisoned for helping christians escape roman prisons, where they are beaten and tortured.
either way, legend says, valentine falls in love with a young girl, while in prison, and sends her the first "valentine" greeting. before his death, he writes the girl a letter and signs it "from your valentine".

FLASH FORWARD: 5th century
pope gelasius outlaws the pagan celebration of lupercalia. lupercalia is a fertility festival dedicated to the roman god of agriculture, faunus, that occurs in the middle of february. the pope declares february 14th st. valentine's day, in an effort to take the focus off lupercalia.

FLASH FORWARD: the middle ages
valentine's reputation as a sympathetic, heroic, and romantic man makes him one of the most popular saints in france and england. valentine's greetings become popular (the oldest greeting, still in existence, is written in 1415, by charles, duke of orleans).

FLASH FORWARD today:
today, americans send, approximately, 1 billion valentine's cards making it the second biggest card sending holiday of the year. 

the more you know ;)

FLASHBACK valentine's day 2012

REPEAT: originally posted to provide christmas gift options, but valentine's day is only 10 days away. if you're too lazy to make this super easy gift, you can always buy one of the gifts i've linked...extra bonus: a hilarious video of ideas!!
"there's the strangest excitement today...if you're awake then you're welcome to hear...i got a gift and it blew me away" 
the bk and i don't really do valentine's gifts...#1~i hate roses. i HATE roses. not knocking you girls that love them, they just aren't for me...and #2~what do you get someone that feels like they have everything?...besides. st valentine's day is about celebrating love. so we do just that. this year we get up before the sun and go to valentine's day breakfast. we are the only people in cracker barrel at 6am, when it opens. we sit by a crackling fire...sip on bottomless cups of hot coffee...and i get to hear about how beautiful i am with no make~up, a messy bun and my glasses on...
but, the bk is unaware of something. i have tucked a small gift in his work bag. something i know he doesn't have. and something i'm sure he will think is stupid, but i do it anyway. i found it on pinterest...a book made of playing cards entitled "52 reasons i heart jamie"...
all you need:

• a full deck of cards (preferably worn and tattered, but you can rough new ones up with sand paper)
• a black sharpie marker (or a computer and printer labels if you're too lazy to write)
• labels
• a hole punch
• binder rings
• your brain

make a cover for your book with the jokers and simply write the title on one with your marker. use your brain (and heart) to come up with 52 reasons why you love him/her. write them on the labels and attach one label to each card (fronts only). punch two holes in each card (make sure they are aligned). and clip together with binder rings. voila!!!

FLASH FORWARD today

we are only 23 days away from christmas...every year it gets harder and harder for me to find the PERFECT gift for my bk. and i know it's gets harder for him. our answer every time one of us asks "what would you like for christmas?"? i have everything i need. which is completely true. this year got a little easier for him...my day job has turned me into a bit of a handbag queen. truth is...i always have been, but i've always been able to find the trendy bags for very cheap (let's not talk about how) so i refuse to pay full price for a designer bag. so, when macy's had their friend's and family sale, this week, i got a michael kors bedford bowling satchel. eek!! merry christmas to cardinal!! but, now...NOW!!...i have to find the bk the PERFECT gift. and he is still saying "i have everything i need/want". DILEMMA!! i m sure many of you are in the same boat so, i googled ideas and found these great gift ideas for under $100:

PARA ÉL:

j. crew classic spread collar shirt: $68 (reg $88); because every guy needs a classic white button up in his closet...

sunspel boxers: $39: come on...your guy needs to get out of the tighty whities...and you don't want to get him hanes at christmas!!

kenneth cole new york watch: $95; help him keep track of the time this christmas so he's not late for the schmancy fancy holiday party!!

art of shaving chrome futura safety razor: $95; because it's no longer NoShavember!!

coach bleeker bull usb keyring: $98; it's a keyring AND a 4GB usb flash drive...cool

                 

                           

         

PARA ELLA:

coach madison op art sateen large wristlet: $98; because sometimes all we need is a lip gloss, a credit card, and our cell phone.

michael kors holiday watch key fob: $48; because, if you aren't gonna have a jag in the driveway on christmas morning, at least make our keys look fancy!

guess multichain bracelet watch: $85; cause it's a watch AND a bracelet!

victoria's secret pillow talk tank pajama: $49.50; because we like to be cute when we lounge around...bonus! free slippers with every pair!

lady gaga fame perfume gift set: $84; because every girl should smell like a rock star...(actually, i wear this and it smells delicious..)

                   

 

                          

happy shopping!!!

TUESDAY MORNING

"let's watch the old year die with a fond good-bye...and our hopes as high as a kite...how can our love go wrong if we start the new year right?"

it's new year's eve. time to bid adieu to the old and welcome the new. so, how do you make sure the new year will be more amazing than the last one? by following ancient superstitions, duh doy! these superstitions say what you do on new year's day, you will do all year long. be sure to do only things that make you happy and follow cardinal's rules for an awesome 2014:

• make sure all your laundry and housecleaning are done new year's eve day. who wants to be washing clothes and cleaning house all year?!
• do your cooking the day before, and be sure to cook the following: black~eyed peas (for luck), greens (for financial prosperity), and pork (because chickens scratch backwards, cows stand still, but pigs root forward guaranteeing you will move forward thru the new year).

                      

• nothing goes out of the house on new year's day, or you will be losing things all year long.
• fill up the cupboards, fridge, and freezer the day before. if the cupboards are bare you'll be starving all year.
• kiss someone you love at midnight to ensure affection all year long.
• set a dollar bill outside on new year's eve and bring it in new year's day. this will ensure you have money coming in all year.
• the first person that enters your home, on new year's, should be tall, dark, and good looking. no joke. so i will be sending the bk out the door at 11:59 and letting him walk in at midnight...

• open your doors at midnight, to let out all the bad from the past year. and noise. make a lot of loud noise to scare off evil spirits.

so. spend today doing all these things, while you watch the walking dead marathon on amc, and you will have a bright and shiny 2014!

happy new year!!

not so MANIC MONDAY

 "trick or treat...trick or treat...the bitter and the sweet..."

FLASHBACK 1974
halloween. so much fun in oxnard. daddy spends the day getting the house ready for a party. an album with ghostly moans and groans plays in the background. dry ice, in an iron bucket, gives the house a fog~filled look. lil bro, queenie, and i. all dressed up for trick~or~treat. all the houses are decorated...some scarier than others. we get all the best treats. snickers. baby ruth. double bubble bubble gum. homemade cookies. and, my absolute favorite, popcorn balls!!!! mom and rikki get their wine glasses re~filled every other stop. perfect night.
FLASH FORWARD 1993
i take the kids to a carnival at school. cody had just seen "nightmare before christmas" and wants to be jack skellington. i work my tail off on his costume. it even includes jack's dog, zero, floating behind. he wins a costume contest and gets a gigantic snicker bar. i don't get pictures because i'll get them tomorrow night, with all the kids, when we go trick~or~treating. cody wakes up, the next morning. "i don't wanna be jack...i wanna be hong kong phooey." are you flippin kidding me right now?! fine. and i go about trying to make dog ears. "i don't wanna be hong kong phooey...i wanna be a ghostbuster". really?! i begin to make a proton pack. it's time to go now. cody comes out in his "barney" pajamas. ugh. he still gets the best treats. snickers. baby ruth. hubba bubba bubble gum. and homemade popcorn balls from a woman, EVERYBODY in town knows, who also offers pre~packaged candy just in case the parents are afraid she might have poisoned the popcorn. boo.
FLASH FORWARD 2009

oops! last year, i agreed to go trick~or~treating with emma. i'm a witch...she's my cat. back in july, she starts talking about what we'll be this year. i leave it completely up to her...as long as i get to be cute. the bk and i have a party after, and we're going as pirates. emma doesn't want to be a pirate. okay. i can still do this. emma calls me. "we are going as the scooby~doo gang. i'm daphne". that means...ummmmm...that means i have to be VELMA! velma is NOT cute. emma gets the best treats. snickers. baby ruth. hubba bubba bubble gum (why doesn't anyone give out double bubble anymore?). but gone are the homemade cookies. and gone, forever, are the homemade popcorn balls. 
for obvious reasons, october is halloween safety month. so, i have a few tips for you and your kids:

#1~costumes: wear well~fitting shoes, costumes, and masks. this will help avoid blocked vision, trips, and falls. swords, knives, should be short, soft, and flexible. also, there should be some reflective tape on bags and costumes...this will help drivers see you. and avoid walking near candles or luminaries so that your costume doesn't, accidentally, catch fire. and test any make~up you will use on a small area of skin. it would totally suck to remove the make~up , at the end of the night, only to find you were allergic to it the whole time. ugh. 
#2~trick~or~treating: go with a group or trusted adult. never ever ever go alone. carry a flashlight, to help others see you and to help you see. and walk, don't run. try to use sidewalks and crosswalks whenever possible. only go to well~lit houses, and never enter a home without a trusted adult. and don't forget about stranger danger! DO NOT ACCEPT RIDES FROM STRANGERS!!
#3~the treats: examine all treats before eating. look for choking hazards and tampering. if it's open, toss it. the cdc recommends only eating factory wrapped treats and avoiding homemade goodies made by strangers.

a bit of information about #3. there are millions of stories, told by your friends, that go kind of like this: my friend's sister's boyfriend's cousin's girlfriend's mom's friend's daughter's teacher's son *insert halloween urban legend here*. maybe it was poison popcorn balls, razor blade filled apples, drug laced pixie stix. i did a bit of research...the drug laced pixie stix actually happened, but, as it turns out, the father of the boy that died was the culprit. he murdered the boy, in 1974, for insurance money and made it appear to be a madman passing out the candy. the razor blades in the apples? kind of false. oh, there were reports. but no one was ever taken to the hospital with an injury. and, there is some question as to how the razor blades got there...even some reports say the parents, or child, may have done it as a hoax. so my advice here: although it's always better to err on the side of safety, don't flip out if your kid comes in eating a homemade popcorn ball you didn't realize they had. the chances that it's poisoned are really non~existent. 
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

a gallery of awesome halloween costumes:

  

               

 

                        

 

                          

 

                                            

A WEEK IN THE LIFE: INSTAGRAM EDITION

"photograph - all i've got is a photograph..."











okay...so it's, technically, two weeks in the life. but i've been busy. the past few weeks have seen visits from spawn (and a girlfriend)...haunted trails and hayrides...premiere parties...antique shopping...blood moons...and throwbacks...what's been good with you?

                                                                                                          

                                                                             ^awkward family photos at the haunts^

 ^as goth as a blond can get^

 ^memories for sale^

 ^antique bi~focals are all the rage^

 ^creepy cupids^

 ^always watching^

 ^throwbacks^

 ^blood moons^

                                                                                               ^(horror) flicks and football^

 ^reasons to watch walking dead^

^new must have^

HAPPY INSTAGRAMMING!!!