THROWBACK THURSDAY

A REPEAT...
"he ain't heavy, he's my brother..."
FLASHBACK october 9, 1967
i am a happy toddler. i live with my mama and daddy in a nice house. we have a dog. life is good.
FLASH FORWARD october 10, 1967
the nightmare begins. mama and daddy bring HIM home. a little brother. "aren't you excited to be a big sister?" ummmmmm. no. no i'm not.
FLASH FORWARD 1970 something
i can't get rid of him. queenie and i are at the park? he is there. queenie and i are at the pool? he is there. queenie spends the night? he is there. he. never. goes. away. he tries to kill me...on multiple occasions. thank you whoever invented locks on doors. and there are times he needs my protection. yeah, exorcist demon, you will not possess my little brother because i'm letting him sleep in my room. 

             

FLASH FORWARD 1980 something
he's in high school now. and is kind of gigantic. no one realizes he's just a freshman. my friends become his friends. he's at all the same parties. the same homecomings. the same proms. he makes getting a date tough, however.  it's hard to get a date when every guy at school has seen you first thing in the morning. with your hair standing on end and no make~up. but, all in all, he's not so bad. 

       

 

FLASH FORWARD today

he's kind of a d~bag.  but he's my d~bag. he's given me a sister. he's given my 2 beautiful nieces. he's my dearest friend AND the bane of my existence.

today is national sibling day. celebrate your brothers and/or sisters...they are the ones that taught you "fairness and cooperation and kindness and caring" (pamela dugdale).

a gallery of siblings:

                         

not so MANIC MONDAY

 "trick or treat...trick or treat...the bitter and the sweet..."

FLASHBACK 1974
halloween. so much fun in oxnard. daddy spends the day getting the house ready for a party. an album with ghostly moans and groans plays in the background. dry ice, in an iron bucket, gives the house a fog~filled look. lil bro, queenie, and i. all dressed up for trick~or~treat. all the houses are decorated...some scarier than others. we get all the best treats. snickers. baby ruth. double bubble bubble gum. homemade cookies. and, my absolute favorite, popcorn balls!!!! mom and rikki get their wine glasses re~filled every other stop. perfect night.
FLASH FORWARD 1993
i take the kids to a carnival at school. cody had just seen "nightmare before christmas" and wants to be jack skellington. i work my tail off on his costume. it even includes jack's dog, zero, floating behind. he wins a costume contest and gets a gigantic snicker bar. i don't get pictures because i'll get them tomorrow night, with all the kids, when we go trick~or~treating. cody wakes up, the next morning. "i don't wanna be jack...i wanna be hong kong phooey." are you flippin kidding me right now?! fine. and i go about trying to make dog ears. "i don't wanna be hong kong phooey...i wanna be a ghostbuster". really?! i begin to make a proton pack. it's time to go now. cody comes out in his "barney" pajamas. ugh. he still gets the best treats. snickers. baby ruth. hubba bubba bubble gum. and homemade popcorn balls from a woman, EVERYBODY in town knows, who also offers pre~packaged candy just in case the parents are afraid she might have poisoned the popcorn. boo.
FLASH FORWARD 2009

oops! last year, i agreed to go trick~or~treating with emma. i'm a witch...she's my cat. back in july, she starts talking about what we'll be this year. i leave it completely up to her...as long as i get to be cute. the bk and i have a party after, and we're going as pirates. emma doesn't want to be a pirate. okay. i can still do this. emma calls me. "we are going as the scooby~doo gang. i'm daphne". that means...ummmmm...that means i have to be VELMA! velma is NOT cute. emma gets the best treats. snickers. baby ruth. hubba bubba bubble gum (why doesn't anyone give out double bubble anymore?). but gone are the homemade cookies. and gone, forever, are the homemade popcorn balls. 
for obvious reasons, october is halloween safety month. so, i have a few tips for you and your kids:

#1~costumes: wear well~fitting shoes, costumes, and masks. this will help avoid blocked vision, trips, and falls. swords, knives, should be short, soft, and flexible. also, there should be some reflective tape on bags and costumes...this will help drivers see you. and avoid walking near candles or luminaries so that your costume doesn't, accidentally, catch fire. and test any make~up you will use on a small area of skin. it would totally suck to remove the make~up , at the end of the night, only to find you were allergic to it the whole time. ugh. 
#2~trick~or~treating: go with a group or trusted adult. never ever ever go alone. carry a flashlight, to help others see you and to help you see. and walk, don't run. try to use sidewalks and crosswalks whenever possible. only go to well~lit houses, and never enter a home without a trusted adult. and don't forget about stranger danger! DO NOT ACCEPT RIDES FROM STRANGERS!!
#3~the treats: examine all treats before eating. look for choking hazards and tampering. if it's open, toss it. the cdc recommends only eating factory wrapped treats and avoiding homemade goodies made by strangers.

a bit of information about #3. there are millions of stories, told by your friends, that go kind of like this: my friend's sister's boyfriend's cousin's girlfriend's mom's friend's daughter's teacher's son *insert halloween urban legend here*. maybe it was poison popcorn balls, razor blade filled apples, drug laced pixie stix. i did a bit of research...the drug laced pixie stix actually happened, but, as it turns out, the father of the boy that died was the culprit. he murdered the boy, in 1974, for insurance money and made it appear to be a madman passing out the candy. the razor blades in the apples? kind of false. oh, there were reports. but no one was ever taken to the hospital with an injury. and, there is some question as to how the razor blades got there...even some reports say the parents, or child, may have done it as a hoax. so my advice here: although it's always better to err on the side of safety, don't flip out if your kid comes in eating a homemade popcorn ball you didn't realize they had. the chances that it's poisoned are really non~existent. 
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

a gallery of awesome halloween costumes:

  

               

 

                        

 

                          

 

                                            

SUNDAY LESSONS

"karma karma karma karma karma chameleon...."

FLASHBACK a few weeks back
i get a phone call. "did you hear what blah blah blah did?" what?! no! "yeah. blah blah blah did yadda yadda yadda! and then this and that happened". omg. (you can insert any horrible gossip you like, it won't change the outcome of my story, or hurt my feelings).
FLASH FORWARD september 14, 2013
it's my typical morning. all's quiet, except for the bk taking an occasional deep breath, in his sleep. the only light is the glare from my computer. i scroll through a little facebook. a little twitter. and a lot of pinterest. and, then, i see it. blah blah blah, who had done the horrible~awful yadda yadda yadda is spending quite a bit of time talking about karma. what? dude!? you know karma's coming after you, right?! it annoys me, so i change my facebook status:

lots of people agree with me. the bk and i talk about it for a minute and i go on with my life. the next 20 minutes goes like this: i stub my toe, on the way to the kitchen *karma*. i start cooking bacon and i burn the first few pieces *karma*. i pour grits into the boiling water and, before i blink, they are blowing the lid off the pot *karma*. i make the perfect sunny~side up egg, and it sticks to the spatula when i am transferring it to the plate *karma*. i am grumbling. what is going on? "weren't you the one who said that when you wish bad karma on people it gets you, too?" ugh.

FLASH FORWARD today
i just wanted to remind everyone NOT to wish bad karma on people. always be kind. karma will get them when she's ready, but you don't want her coming after you in the meantime.

have a great day peeps!

FLASHBACK 1978

REPEAT because it's the last day of "safe at home" week (8/26~8/30) and it's kind of relevant...
"on a gathering storm comes a tall, handsome man...in a long dusty coat with a red right hand"
we were all 12 and 13 years old. we couldn't drive. we were at the mercy of our parents, or our feet, to get us where we were going. so, wherever we went, it had to be close. so we all met at colony square. we had the video arcade (saturn 3). we had the cinema. our parents dropped us off, and expected that we would behave. and, by behave, i mean...we wouldn't go see rated r movies. bahahahahahahahaha!!
we saw them all. halloween (parts 1 and 2). friday the 13th (1 thru 4). mother's day. motel hell. dawn of the dead. the evil dead.
FLASH FORWARD today
so...i'm in the closet, putting away clothes. the dog and the cat have followed me in there. the bk? he's at work. i hear a thump in the living room. maddie hears it, too. the hair on her back is standing straight up. ummmm...what do i do now? i can't run...the only way out is thru the living room. i can't scream...whatever caused the thump would hear me. eventually, i come to my senses. the front door is dead bolted and chained. the only way in is thru the screened door and i live on the 2nd floor. i determine i'm perfectly safe, unless, of course, ninja zombies are attacking.

and this gets me thinking...what exactly AM i supposed to do if, in fact, i am thrown into a horror flick? the dumb chick, who always happens to be blond (aaarrrggghhh), runs upstairs when she should be running out of the house. but what if upstairs is your only choice? what IF the only way out is blocked by a serial killer? and why do the victims always hide in the obvious places? under a blanket. in the closet. behind the couch. but, if you think about it, unless you live in a mansion with hidden rooms and tunnels, there really isn't a good place to hide. hmmmmmm....
i've assessed my surroundings and i've come up with a plan. a fool~proof plan that, to the untrained eye, will appear to be simple prep for fire safety:

#1~assess your home and note two ways out of every room. if the serial killer is coming thru the door, obviously you can't go out it.
#2~establish a meeting place outside...a safe distance from your house. 
#3~get a fire extinguisher, preferably an abc type (good for multiple types of fires from combustible to electrical). not only will it put out a fire but it can be used to disorient your attacker while you make your escape.
#4~if you live in a two~story home, or the second floor of an apartment building, invest in a fire escape ladder. if you get injured trying to jump out you will never escape. 

all this, and my impressive ninja skills, should protect ME from fire and jason vorhees...you, however, are on your own :)

                        

 

                                       

TUESDAY TREASURES

"these are a few of my favorite things..."



1. i always look forward to late night with jimmy fallon because i might get to see this:

 2. edy's slow churned ice cream ...slow churned is naturally half the fat, so i can feel slightly less guilty. and this flavor is uh~mazing! but it's only available thru the end of august:

3. i can't say, for sure, it's my favorite...yet...but my love of everything simon peg (shaun of the dead, hot fuzz) tells me i am going to totally love this:

4. i'm in love with this:

5. i can't stop listening to this:

6. really liked reading this:

7. i totally love playing on vine because i can do this:

what are some of your favorite things?

A WEEK IN THE LIFE: INSTAGRAM EDITION

   

^john mayer on vine"

"i read the news today oh boy...about a lucky man who made the grade...and though the news was rather sad...well i just had to laugh...i saw the photograph..."

i hope everyone has been enjoying their summer as much as i have...vacation and the "summer of music 2013" have been the highlight of the season, so far...check out what we've been up to thru the magic of instagram (and a little vine)!!

1. beating the heat with a napping kitty

2. when it's 45000 degrees at an outdoor concert, this is as good as it gets, john mayer don't care!

3. a tad cooler at concert number 2..dave matthews

4. clear skies and beautiful music

5. crash into me

6. lazy sunday because it's just too hot outside...jesus be a raindrop!!

7. delicious summer snack: cucumbers and hummus!!

and because instagram decided to add video: 

FRIDAY I'M IN LOVE

"the dog days are over...the dog days are done..."
it's officially summer and time for everyone to be taking those long road trips to some beach, somewhere. and many of you will be taking spot, or fido, with you. and that's a fabulous idea, if your vacation will allow. but have you thought about your dog? have you thought about all the things bowzer will need to have a happy and safe trip?

1. start by feeding fido a light meal a few hours before the start of your trip. that way he's digested his food and gone potty before you ever leave.
2. make sure to pack food, bottled water, leash, bowls, poop bags, pet's medication, and vaccination record. also, his favorite toy and blanket.
3. make sure your puppy has all of his identification tags on...and consider having him microchipped.
4. don't let your baby ride with his head out the window. he could get hit with flying objects.
5. stop every hour or two and let fido get some exercise and use the bathroom. 
6. and...most importantly...never ever ever ever leave spot alone in a parked car. on a hot day, the car can turn into a furnace quickly, resulting in possible heat stroke and/or death. 

         

has bowzer never been on a car trip before? try taking him on some mini trips in the days and weeks leading to your vacation.

happy trails!!!

^poop bags with a cute little dispenser available at petsmart^

FLASHBACK may 2005

*note: in honor of 'hurricane preparedness week (may 26-jun 1)' i am letting you re-visit a previous post about emergency prep...enjoy!*

"in your head, in your head...zombie, zombie, zombie..."
it seems impossible, but dustin is graduating. the parents come to town for the weekend to partake in the festivities. daddy comes out of the bathroom "why do you have a guide to surviving the zombie apocalypse in your bathroom?" me "because we want to prepare for the zombie apocalypse, duh doy!" d "you need some quality reading material in there" me "one day you'll be glad your daughter and grandsons know how to survive a zombie apocalypse".
FLASH FORWARD december 2010
the bk has to go to charlotte on business. the meetings will start early on monday, so he leaves on sunday. i lay down on the couch and start flipping channels. i find the walking dead on amc. it's the season finally later so it's a marathon. i watch for 6 straight hours. it's awesome. it helps me gain a little more understanding of what the zombie apocalypse will look like.
FLASH FORWARD today
say what you want about my "zombie apocalypse" knowledge, it's actually a smart thing to be prepared for an emergency. even the cdc jumped on the zombie apocalypse band wagon, using it to teach us how to prevent infectious diseases...click here to learn more...emergency prep doesn't have to be as serious as something you might see on doomsday preppers. i have survived countless hurricanes and ice storms...i am always prepared. you should be, too.

first, have an emergency evacuation plan (especially if you live in a hurricane prone area). you need to know, ahead of time, where you will go. and you should have the following with you:

• large backpack or container for all emergency items
• health profile for all family members
• updated medications
• copy of important documents (insurance, social security cards, driver's licenses, birth certificates, deeds, stocks/bonds, wills, pet’s vaccination records, etc)
• spare keys 
• cash
• first aid kit 
• wrench or pliers
• extra cell phone chargers
• batteries
• work gloves, rope, tarp, and utility knife
• emergency whistle
• filter masks for every family member
• crank or battery operated radio
• crank or battery operated flashlight
• light/glow sticks
• can opener
• plastic bags or trash bags
• hand sanitizer
• blankets and warm clothing for each family member
• baby items (extra diapers, wipes, formula)
• pet items (food, water)
• Extra clothes for each person

riding it out at home? you need the following packed in a large rubbermaid bin:

• water: at least a 3 day supply (1 gallon per day per person)...but go for 7 if you can...also, fill some rubber maid bins with water for bathing, washing dishes, etc.
• stock up on non-perishable foods (think spaghettios, chef boyardee, dinty moore beef stew). anything that comes in a can and requires little to no water. don't forget infant formula and pet food.
• first aid kit
• batteries. make sure to have a supply of every size.
• at least one change of clothes per person. don't forget jackets, shoes, rain gear, hats and gloves.
• blankets or sleeping bags.
• crank or battery operated radio and/or tv
• matches
• candles
• personal hygeine products...y'all don't wanna be stanky do ya?

some of the items are in both kits. if the zombies are busting thru your front window, and you have to make a run for it, you really don't want to have to stop and hunt thru the bin for batteries. do you? cuz i'm fairly certain unnecessary stops will lead to you being lunch. 

happy prepping and see you in the safe haven!!!

^the walking dead^

^zombie hunter extroardinaire^