"eloquent profanity, it rolls right off my tongue"
it's a gloomy day in upstate new york. i'm cleaning house and cody is watching "the elephant show". i open the drapes. the two year old toddles to the window and says "oh S&%T! it's raining!". ummmmm...i'm super excited because it's his first full sentence. and i'm completely mortified because it's his first full sentence. clearly, i need to watch my mouth in front of the kids. yeah. that's NOT going to happen.
FLASH FORWARD 2010
my nieces and i are in line at king's island. abby and madison are picking on emma. i look over just in time to see her flip the bird (the universal sign of love in our family). EMMA!!! "what? i was just telling her i love her?!!". welp....at least we know she retains information.
today is earmuffs day. I KNOW it's to honor the anniversary of the patent some guy with giant ears (chester greenwood) got on his invention in 1877. however, i'm choosing to honor the 10 year tradition, brought to us by vince vaughn, of yelling "earmuffs" when we plan to say something in front of our kids that, maybe, they shouldn't hear.
it's really easy to say "you shouldn't use that language in front of children". but let's say you stub your toe really hard on the coffee table. are you really going to look around and check for little ears before you let out a very loud "F&%K!!!!!!!!" (or, maybe, you'll just say "d*&m" because you aren't, actually, a sailor)? no. no you're not. also, they are going to hear it a million other places (school, tv, movies, video games) so watching your mouth isn't, necessarily, going to prevent them from learning and using foul language. so, how do you prevent your child from swearing? you could search google for advice. there you will find all kinds of articles about how horrible it is for kids to talk like this. articles that say you should give them words to use instead. what? look. i taught 2 year old cody to say "sugar"...it worked, until he went to school. i say, listen to someone a little less uptight. like me!
- don't make a HUGE deal out of what the kid said. getting angry, or laughing, or immediately punishing the child will only make the word(s) more powerful. flip out and your kid is going to say "s$%t" every time (s)he wants your attention.
- talk to your kid about when that language is or isn't appropriate. maybe you think it's never appropriate. or, maybe, you think it's okay when you are extremely angry. kids aren't stupid. talk to them, rationally, and they will understand. my kids knew their boundaries. of course they used that language, but never at school, or church, or anywhere it might offend someone.
- be more concerned with the messages of ALL the words we speak, and the tone we use when we speak them. i'm more concerned with words that sound judgmental, gossipy, or condescending.
or, you could just yell "EARMUFFS!" right before you let the f~word fly.
^one of cody's favorite shows...no profanity included^
^"earmuff it for me"^
