IT'S FRIDAY I'M IN LOVE

"you know i'll never be lonely...you're my only one
and i love the things...i really love the things that you do...you're my best friend"
FLASHBACK june 1, 1957
moniebird and jimmy get hitched. *56 years and 4 children later? still married*
FLASH FORWARD november 14, 1964
bob and lana tie the knot. *48 years and 2 children later? still married*
FLASH FORWARD july 22, 1995
queenie and jj head to vegas. * nearly 18 years and 2 spawn later? still married*
FLASH FORWARD september 4, 2009
the bk and i move in together and begin a VERY committed relationship. *nearly 4 years later? still together*
FLASH FORWARD july 3, 2010
danno and bridgey sneak off to gatlinburg. *3 years and working on the children later? still married*

what's the secret, you ask? it's hard to really say but...i have a few ideas:

1. be best friends. best friends laugh together, confide in each other, and are always there for each other.
2. be kind to one another. even when you're mad. you don't have to fight dirty to get your point across. as jewel says "in the end, only kindness matters"...
3. talk to each other. talk to each other about EVERYTHING. the weather. sports. books. likes. dislikes. differences you're having. happy couples put everything out on the table and work to resolve their differences. 
4. go out on double, even triple, dates. it can't just be about you two, all the time...every time. get out and enjoy the company of other strong, happy couples. 
5. give 80% and expect 20%: a lesson my daddy taught me. it's important, even in relationships that aren't romantic. a good person always gives without expecting anything in return. *trust me. you will know when your partner is not giving 20% and that's when you go back to #3*

april is couples appreciation month. okay. it's a holiday made up by a company that wants you to spend money on spa items for your significant other. but, i say, take this month (every month, really) to appreciate the great couples around you. see what they're doing right and how they are keeping they're relationships strong. 

a gallery of happy couples:

                              

THE SUNDAY PAPER (or blog or book or mag)

"dear sir or madam, will you read my book?...it took me years to write, will you take a look?"
FLASHBACK december 2010
the bk and i meet with a new, to us, tattoo artist (you can find out all about matt clemmer here). he works out of his basement, meaning we get to meet his lovely family. his girlfriend, katie, and her cute~as~a~button son, max. katie and matt are freelance artists and they're work is displayed all over the house. katie is, also, a blogger. 
FLASH FORWARD january and march 2011
matt does an addition to the bk's tribute to his great~grandmother, america, and a beautiful portrait of my flock. mine takes two sessions. a total of 14 hours. it's painful. i cry. i cry a lot. but the end product is well worth it. a piece of art on my right thigh. also, i get to learn quite a bit about this beautiful little family. and i discover katie's blog...a glimpse into her life with these two charming men.
FLASH FORWARD today
it's sunday. i get up early...before the sun is even fully up. i make coffee. i scroll thru facebook. i scroll thru twitter. and i read katie's pencil box. full of stunning pictures, snapped and edited by katie, and quick peeks into her day~to~day, this blog just makes me warm and fuzzy. katie doesn't tell you how to dress, how to make the perfect breakfast casserole, or how to keep the perfect house. she just shows you how an artist,  mother of two (phoebe is just 8 months old), and future wife takes the time to simply be. 
sunday mornings are for coffee, and blankets, and reading. take this time to check out katie's pencil box...you won't be disappointed. 
happy reading!!

            

 

^before and after^

^portrait of a flock^

FLASHBACK sometime in 1992

"eloquent profanity, it rolls right off my tongue"
it's a gloomy day in upstate new york. i'm cleaning house and cody is watching "the elephant show". i open the drapes. the two year old toddles to the window and says "oh S&%T! it's raining!". ummmmm...i'm super excited because it's his first full sentence. and i'm completely mortified because it's his first full sentence. clearly, i need to watch my mouth in front of the kids. yeah. that's NOT going to happen.
FLASH FORWARD 2010
my nieces and i are in line at king's island. abby and madison are picking on emma. i look over just in time to see her flip the bird (the universal sign of love in our family). EMMA!!! "what? i was just telling her i love her?!!". welp....at least we know she retains information.

FLASH FORWARD today
today is earmuffs day. I KNOW it's to honor the anniversary of the patent some guy with giant ears (chester greenwood) got on his invention in 1877. however, i'm choosing to honor the 10 year tradition, brought to us by vince vaughn, of yelling "earmuffs" when we plan to say something in front of our kids that, maybe, they shouldn't hear.
it's really easy to say "you shouldn't use that language in front of children". but let's say you stub your toe really hard on the coffee table. are you really going to look around and check for little ears before you let out a very loud "F&%K!!!!!!!!" (or, maybe, you'll just say "d*&m" because you aren't, actually, a sailor)? no. no you're not. also, they are going to hear it a million other places (school, tv, movies, video games) so watching your mouth isn't, necessarily, going to prevent them from learning and using foul language. so, how do you prevent your child from swearing? you could search google for advice. there you will find all kinds of articles about how horrible it is for kids to talk like this. articles that say you should give them words to use instead. what? look. i taught 2 year old cody to say "sugar"...it worked, until he went to school. i say, listen to someone a little less uptight. like me!

• don't make a HUGE deal out of what the kid said. getting angry, or laughing, or immediately punishing the child will only make the word(s) more powerful. flip out and your kid is going to say "s$%t" every time (s)he wants your attention.
• talk to your kid about when that language is or isn't appropriate. maybe you think it's never appropriate. or, maybe, you think it's okay when you are extremely angry. kids aren't stupid. talk to them, rationally, and they will understand. my kids knew their boundaries. of course they used that language, but never at school, or church, or anywhere it might offend someone. 
• be more concerned with the messages of ALL the words we speak, and the tone we use when we speak them. i'm more concerned with words that sound judgmental, gossipy, or condescending. 

or, you could just yell "EARMUFFS!" right before you let the f~word fly.

^one of cody's favorite shows...no profanity included^

^"earmuff it for me"^

FLASHBACK 1956

"i'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world...life in plastic, it's fantastic!" 
ruth handler takes a trip to europe with her children. she discovers a german doll named bild lilli, a blond bombshell that knows what she wants and will do whatever it takes to get it. lilli is marketed to adults, but little girls love her. so ruth takes lilli to her husband who, by an act of SHEER coincidence, just happens to be the cofounder of mattel! KABOOM!! barbie's born. 
FLASH FORWARD march 9, 1959
barbie (named after ruth's daughter) makes her debut at the american international toy fair. she wears a  black and white striped swimsuit and signature top knot. she is available as a blond or a brunette. AND she has a backstory. she is the daughter of george and margaret roberts of willows, wisconsin. because, you know, everybody needs a backstory. everybody. needs. a backstory.
FLASH FORWARD 1961
barbie meets ken. they have off and on relationships in the minds of little girls everywhere. for eternity. i don't believe they can ever truly be happy.
FLASH FORWARD march 9, 2009
barbie turns 50. AND she still looks fabulous. boo. 
FLASH FORWARD today
barbie turns 54 today. and she remains the leading fashion doll with, roughly, 946 million dolls sold every year. how will you celebrate barbie's birthday? i'm thinking pink cupcakes, dressing like a starlet, and going out and conquering my little corner of the world. won't you join me?

                  
 

FLASHBACK 1981

kat and i are dieting. we don't NEED to be dieting but, like all teenage girls in the history of ever, we think we do. and we're doing it right. we have dexatrim. and we take 2 about 30 minutes before dad comes in with burger king. we figure he might be a little mad to find out we're taking diet pills so...we eat the whoppers...we eat the fries...and we're sick the rest of the night. that's the last time we take diet pills. we know they work, though, because we never ever want to see whoppers. ever. again.
FLASH FORWARD february 24, 2013
i'm watching the oscar red carpet arrivals on e. guiliana rancic and kelly osborne are hosting. i am struck by how amazing kelly looks. not because of her dress. not because of her makeup. because of the fact that she has curves. oh. she's not fat, by any stretch of the imagination. but she is not emaciated. and, sadly, i know there are people saying she's fat simply because she isn't a stick figure.
FLASH FORWARD today
fact: americans spend over $40 billion on dieting and diet related products each year.
fact: the average american woman is 5'4" and weighs 164 lbs...the average model? 5'11" and 117 lbs (what?).
fact: over 1/2 of teenage girls and 1/3 of teenage boys attempt to lose weight via unhealthy methods. those methods? skipping meals, fasting, laxatives, vomiting.
fact: in the us, 5 to 10 million people have eating disorders compared to 4 million people with alzheimer's.
fact: society's emphasis on appearance and thinness promotes unhealthy dieting and blinds us to people suffering from eating disorders.
fact: eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.
fact: an active teenager should be consuming AT LEAST 2500~3000 calories per day to maintain their weight. an active adult? 2000.
fact: as adults, we model the behaviors our children learn...this includes eating and exercise habits, as well as how we view our bodies and judge others.

national eating disorder awareness week is february 24~march 2. take this time to arm yourself with the tools that could help you, or someone you love. click here for more information.

other helpful links:

http://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/
http://www.something-fishy.org/
and lady gaga's site to help promote self~acceptance

                             

FLASHBACK 1826

"i'm free and i love to be free...to live my life the way i want...to say and do whatever i please..."
women weren't always excluded from voting. a rich old widow named lydia taft was allowed to vote in town meetings in uxbridge, massachusetts. and new jersey permitted women to vote if they had at least £50 in cash or property, referring to the voter as "he or she". a law was passed, in 1807, to exclude women. so, in 1826, a scottish woman named frances wright comes to america and doesn't like what she sees. she starts giving lectures on women's suffrage. then, in 1836, polish born ernestine rose campaigns so hard for the right to vote that she even gets a hearing with the new york state legislature, with a petition that only has 5 signatures.  in 1840 boston, lucretia mott and margaret fuller are fighting for women's suffrage. and, in 1848, lucretia mott becomes the first woman nominated for federal executive office when, liberty party nominee, gerrit smith calls for extending women the right to vote. that same year, strong women begin holding conventions for women's rights. these rights include more than just the right to vote. women also want social and legal equality. i could go on and on, and name every single important female that fought for women's rights, but we would be here all day...so i'm gonna skip to 1890. that year, two separate women's right organizations decide to merge. their leader? susan b. anthony. this group obtains a hearing before congress every year until 1919. on may 21, 1919, a bill introducing the 19th amendment is brought before congress for the 5th time. it passes the house with 42 votes more than necessary. on june 4, 1919, the bill passes the senate. it is not ratified by the 36 required states until august 26, 1920. 
FLASH FORWARD today
it's november 6, 2012. election day. i am so excited for this day to be over. my state, ohio, is a swing state. both parties have inundated my television with attack ads. i can't get on any form of social media (facebook, twitter, even pinterest) without being attacked by "friends" who think i'm an idiot if i don't vote how they vote. for a second, i consider not voting. then i remember how hard all these women fought for my right to cast that vote. i think about how lucky i am that the law DOESN'T require me to stay at home and not be heard. so, today, i will find my warmest coat (it's brrrrr chilly rabbit out there!) and go stand in line for an hour or two. and i will cast my vote for the candidate i feel represents me the best. and, win or lose, i will be satisfied that my voice was heard. 
male or female...please exercise your right today. let your voice be heard. 

                 

 

^lucretia mott and susan b. anthony^