THROWBACK THURSDAY

A REPEAT...
"he ain't heavy, he's my brother..."
FLASHBACK october 9, 1967
i am a happy toddler. i live with my mama and daddy in a nice house. we have a dog. life is good.
FLASH FORWARD october 10, 1967
the nightmare begins. mama and daddy bring HIM home. a little brother. "aren't you excited to be a big sister?" ummmmmm. no. no i'm not.
FLASH FORWARD 1970 something
i can't get rid of him. queenie and i are at the park? he is there. queenie and i are at the pool? he is there. queenie spends the night? he is there. he. never. goes. away. he tries to kill me...on multiple occasions. thank you whoever invented locks on doors. and there are times he needs my protection. yeah, exorcist demon, you will not possess my little brother because i'm letting him sleep in my room. 

             

FLASH FORWARD 1980 something
he's in high school now. and is kind of gigantic. no one realizes he's just a freshman. my friends become his friends. he's at all the same parties. the same homecomings. the same proms. he makes getting a date tough, however.  it's hard to get a date when every guy at school has seen you first thing in the morning. with your hair standing on end and no make~up. but, all in all, he's not so bad. 

       

 

FLASH FORWARD today

he's kind of a d~bag.  but he's my d~bag. he's given me a sister. he's given my 2 beautiful nieces. he's my dearest friend AND the bane of my existence.

today is national sibling day. celebrate your brothers and/or sisters...they are the ones that taught you "fairness and cooperation and kindness and caring" (pamela dugdale).

a gallery of siblings:

                         

IT'S FRIDAY I'M IN LOVE

"song...song of the south...sweet potato pie and hush my mouth..."
FLASHBACK april 1986
i move to north carolina. within a month, my family cannot understand a word i say.
FLASH FORWARD 2009 until today
this happens almost daily~
remember when you said blah blah blah? bk "ummmm...when did i say that?". you know? the other day...when we were moving my stuff into your apartment. "the other day? that was 4 years ago...it was NOT 'the OTHER day'!".

or

the other day you asked me blah blah blah and...bk "the other day as in the other day? or the other day as in 30 years ago?".

FLASH FORWARD august 15, 2013

i'm fixin to head to starbucks, do y'all need anything? "you're fixin? what?".

okay. fine. so i picked up a few southernisms after living in the carolinas for 23 years...24 actually, since the bk and i lived there for a year. and most of my mid~west and west coast friends have a tiny bit of trouble understanding me at times. so...i thought, maybe, i would take this opportunity to teach you how to get along in the south...

• you should always be barefoot or in flip flops, and i will push it as close to the limit as i possibly can. 
• sweet tea is just "tea", it should always be sweet.  
• "bless your heart" doesn't mean that at all...and you will never, hardly ever, hear me say it.
• i stopped calling my parent's mom and dad 27 years ago...they are "mama" and "daddy".
• "fixin" doesn't mean to ACTUALLY fix something...it means i'm getting ready to do something or go somewhere...as in "i'm fixin to go to the store" or "i'm fixin to bake cookies" or "i'm fixin to roundhouse kick you in the face".
• "the other day" can be anywhere from yesterday to november 1965.
• bbq is pulled pork...all other "bbq" is called by it's name: brisket, chicken, and whatever else you cook on a grill...
• speaking of bbq...it's not a pig roast, it's a pig pickin because, duh doy, everyone is pickin meat off the pig. and you have slaw, and beans, and pig pickin cake. or else it's not a real pig pickin.
• if i say "i'm about to monkey" it means i'm super super hot and sweaty. cuz, well, monkeys are sweaty? i have no idea...you just say it in the deep south.
• "i swanee" means "i swear". i hardly ever say that, but if i do now you'll know what i mean...
• "drink" means coke and not a mixed drink. if you are asking me over for a cocktail you better be specific. also, if i say "coke" i mean soda...any soda...if i say "diet coke" i mean diet soda...any diet soda. it's not hard.
• grits. this is important. people in the mid~west have NO CLUE about the proper way to enjoy grits. they put butter on them! bleck! and SUGAR!! bleck! bleck!! and, sometimes, even milk!! BLECK! BLECK!! BLECK!!! grits should be served all mixed up with runny eggs (preferably sunny~side up) with lots of salt and pepper. and, if you haven't tried them, you should. you really should.

^barefootin^

^good ol' southern seafood^

^a rare sight in the south^

^in the south, we don't hide our crazy...we put 'em on the front porch for everyone to see^

do you have any southernisms not listed here? and, maybe, you want to know what they mean? i'll be happy to help you out ☺

the more you know.....

THINGS I LEARNED THIS WEEK

"you choke you learn...you laugh you learn...you choose you learn...you pray you learn...you ask you learn...you live you learn"

1. true love is shielding your eyes from horrible things *cough cough clowns cough cough*
2. two...two...two dogs are better than one
3. everybody loves bacon. everybody. LOVES. bacon.
4. emma starts all questions with "remember when you..."
5. abby should probably model
6. verizon should pay me a commission for assisting in the sale of a bose speaker and plan upgrade
7. patience is a virtue, especially in candy crush
8. when friends miss you, they show it by terrorizing you on facebook
9. i can make an irate customer leave smiling with my quick wit AND the coupon i keep in my pocket
10. today is national deep~dish pizza day...yummo!!!!!

^gypsy rose jarvis green ellis and trudy^

^the pesto~bacon was a huge hit^

^emma is a goofball^

^so pretty^

^finally off level 65^

^bird misses me^

^the magic^

^yummo^

^reminds me of emma...ha^

FLASHBACK november 2012

"when i see your face...there's not a thing that i would change...'cause you're amazing just the way you are..."
a couple comes in with a broken handbag. "this is the first purse i ever bought that cost as much as a car payment! i can't believe the strap is already broken! and, i took it back to the store i bought it at, and she said she couldn't help me...but there has to be a way...i've only had this purse two months" i am positive i can help them. she has no receipt. she has no tag. she can't remember which credit card she used. one hour, and a bunch of laughs, later, she walks out with a brand new bag. five minutes later, a manager approaches me and tells me that she was stopped by a couple that gushed about their amazing experience...told her i was a truly magical person...and vowed to only shop at our store, even though it's  30 miles farther from home than our closest store. i float on a cloud the rest of my shift. who knew that a compliment would hold THAT kind of power? 
*special note: i, also, diagnosed the problem with the bag. during shipping, the handbags are carefully wrapped and taped, and it takes incredible feats of strength to unwrap them. someone had used a box cutter to slit the tape and had slit the strap on both ends. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS look over your handbag (designer or otherwise) and look for nicks, slits, or scratches.* 
FLASH FORWARD today
yes. it's nice to be recognized for our hard work, or our new look, or our sense of humor. but the power of a compliment is often overlooked. a japanese study found that compliments can improve performance in every aspect, from school to social life to the workplace. *participants were required to complete a finger sequence on a keyboard as fast as they could in 30 seconds. one group received compliments, one group watched as other members were complimented, and one group rated their own performance. the group that received compliments improved their performance the following day.* compliments actually stimulate the same part of the brain (the striatum) that is activated when cash is given, prompting us to work harder. hmmmmm......
today is world compliment day. the idea behind it? much like valentine's day, secretary's day, or mother's day, it's a day to let the people in your life KNOW you appreciate them. no cards. no gifts. just a compliment. it's free. and it will make you both feel good.

^never underestimate a pat on the head^