IT'S FRIDAY I'M IN LOVE

"song...song of the south...sweet potato pie and hush my mouth..."
FLASHBACK april 1986
i move to north carolina. within a month, my family cannot understand a word i say.
FLASH FORWARD 2009 until today
this happens almost daily~
remember when you said blah blah blah? bk "ummmm...when did i say that?". you know? the other day...when we were moving my stuff into your apartment. "the other day? that was 4 years ago...it was NOT 'the OTHER day'!".

or

the other day you asked me blah blah blah and...bk "the other day as in the other day? or the other day as in 30 years ago?".

FLASH FORWARD august 15, 2013

i'm fixin to head to starbucks, do y'all need anything? "you're fixin? what?".

okay. fine. so i picked up a few southernisms after living in the carolinas for 23 years...24 actually, since the bk and i lived there for a year. and most of my mid~west and west coast friends have a tiny bit of trouble understanding me at times. so...i thought, maybe, i would take this opportunity to teach you how to get along in the south...

• you should always be barefoot or in flip flops, and i will push it as close to the limit as i possibly can. 
• sweet tea is just "tea", it should always be sweet.  
• "bless your heart" doesn't mean that at all...and you will never, hardly ever, hear me say it.
• i stopped calling my parent's mom and dad 27 years ago...they are "mama" and "daddy".
• "fixin" doesn't mean to ACTUALLY fix something...it means i'm getting ready to do something or go somewhere...as in "i'm fixin to go to the store" or "i'm fixin to bake cookies" or "i'm fixin to roundhouse kick you in the face".
• "the other day" can be anywhere from yesterday to november 1965.
• bbq is pulled pork...all other "bbq" is called by it's name: brisket, chicken, and whatever else you cook on a grill...
• speaking of bbq...it's not a pig roast, it's a pig pickin because, duh doy, everyone is pickin meat off the pig. and you have slaw, and beans, and pig pickin cake. or else it's not a real pig pickin.
• if i say "i'm about to monkey" it means i'm super super hot and sweaty. cuz, well, monkeys are sweaty? i have no idea...you just say it in the deep south.
• "i swanee" means "i swear". i hardly ever say that, but if i do now you'll know what i mean...
• "drink" means coke and not a mixed drink. if you are asking me over for a cocktail you better be specific. also, if i say "coke" i mean soda...any soda...if i say "diet coke" i mean diet soda...any diet soda. it's not hard.
• grits. this is important. people in the mid~west have NO CLUE about the proper way to enjoy grits. they put butter on them! bleck! and SUGAR!! bleck! bleck!! and, sometimes, even milk!! BLECK! BLECK!! BLECK!!! grits should be served all mixed up with runny eggs (preferably sunny~side up) with lots of salt and pepper. and, if you haven't tried them, you should. you really should.

^barefootin^

^good ol' southern seafood^

^a rare sight in the south^

^in the south, we don't hide our crazy...we put 'em on the front porch for everyone to see^

do you have any southernisms not listed here? and, maybe, you want to know what they mean? i'll be happy to help you out ☺

the more you know.....

WHAT UP WEDNESDAY?

"regrets...i've had a few..."
let me preface this by saying: i love my job. i really love my job. i'm not saving the world. or lives. i'm not discovering the secrets to the universe. or creating new, and better, technology. i'm simply selling handbags. but...i have fun everyday. i make people smile everyday. i inspire "plain janes" to step out of the box a bit...everyday. i love my job.
but...this week? this week i've overextended myself. just a tad. and it's making me CRAZY!!! and making me contemplate ways to get out of work (sword swallowing, anyone?). how did i let that happen, you ask? i picked up shifts, more than quadrupling my hours for the week (yay me!!), we bought a 20 game season ticket pack to see our cincinnati reds (yay us!!), we got invited to see another reds game (yay bk's boss!!), and, then, there's all the other things that must be done on any given day (laundry, cleaning, cooking, stocking the fridge). it's only wednesday and i'm exhausted. it's only wednesday and i need a vacation. 
it happens to everyone. we look at our weekly schedule and say to ourselves "sure, i can fit that in". we pick up extra shifts, or accept invitations to parties (or ball games). we look at our calendars...at the big to dos...but don't think about all the little things we have to do.
what can you do to keep yourself from getting overextended? or, worse, wishing a foul ball would give you a concussion?

• ask for help. i don't have to do all the little things alone. i KNOW that if i would only ask the bk would walk the dog, or do some laundry.  
• don't sweat the small stuff. it can wait. you don't HAVE to dust that table today. it will still be there tomorrow. so make a list this morning of 3 things that MUST happen today. focus on getting those taken care of. 
• keep a calendar. no excuses. you have a phone with a calendar on it, use it. and stick to it. that way you'll know if dinner with friends is actually possible that day.
• learn to say no *see "keep a calendar"*. if your calendar says you're busy busy just say no. explain to your friend that dinner is impossible and try to do it another day. 
• set aside time for you.  the real reason you feel overextended is you haven't had time to yourself. you haven't been able to open that book. or play that game. or just take a nap. with no "me time" you'll go crazy, so mark it on your calendar.

                           

                       

• sword swallowing
• painting nails in the car
• a full calendar
• candy crush addiction

don't worry. be happy.

"BETTER PUT THEM IN QUOTATIONS...

...say what you need to say..."

FLASHBACK march 22, 2013

i walk in the house and the bk is on the phone. he's excited about something but refuses to say. he hands me the phone and the voice on the other end says "so. do you prefer auntie (auhntie) or auntie (antie)?" ummmm...auntie (antie) duh doy! wait? whaat?! OMG!!! 

FLASH FORWARD march 28, 2013

i get a tearful phone call. "i'm on my way to the hospital. there's bleeding." it is an ectopic pregnancy.  of course they are devastated. but, also, hopeful. the doctor is positive they will get pregnant again. 

FLASH FORWARD today

never the person to have things go smoothly, this tubal pregnancy isn't over yet. there was a surgery on march 28. there was a dose (actually 2) of chemo on april 12. and an emergency surgery on april 14 that required removing the fallopian tube. the doctor is, still, certain she will conceive again. 

i offered my support in the form of ben & jerry's ice cream and a walking dead marathon. i, also, offered to shave her head if the chemo caused hair loss (which, by the way, can happen with one dose or not at all). but i avoided all the cliche sayings: "you're young. you can try again". duh. she knows this. "i know how you feel". no. no i don't. i can't even imagine. i had 2 very normal, happy, pregnancies and 1 that was complicated but still resulted in a happy, healthy baby. "everything happens for a reason". okay. i DO believe this. but, really? i'm not sure i want to understand the reason. and the statement isn't comforting, at all. 

deaths of loved ones, cancer, loss of a pregnancy...whatever the cause, offering support and comfort can, often, be difficult. how can you know what to say (or not) or do when you've never experienced it? you can't really, because it's personal and will be different for everyone. some people are going to want all your attention. and some are going to wish you would just go away. but i do have some ideas:

• do make contact. call, visit, email...but do offer your condolences and help. the person will let you know if the help is wanted. *when offering help be specific: can i bring you a meal? don't say "how can i help?" forcing them to think about what they might need done.* 
• listen. listen but DO NOT offer advice unless they ask for it. 
• don't say "i know how you feel". even if you think you do, they are feeling their own emotions, which might be different from how you felt.
• offer real help, like running errands. or bringing food. *idea: take toilet paper, paper towels, and tissues. especially in the case of a death in the family, lots of people will be dropping by and bringing food. paper products are the last thing on the family's mind.*
• avoid the cliches: he/she is in a better place, everything happens for a reason, or it could be worse. even if you believe it to be true, these statements don't help with the grieving process. the person will come to these conclusions on their own. in their own time. 
• understand that people heal in their own time. don't push them to get on with their lives at your pace. 

^pets can be incredibly comforting^