TUESDAY MORNING

"let's watch the old year die with a fond good-bye...and our hopes as high as a kite...how can our love go wrong if we start the new year right?"

it's new year's eve. time to bid adieu to the old and welcome the new. so, how do you make sure the new year will be more amazing than the last one? by following ancient superstitions, duh doy! these superstitions say what you do on new year's day, you will do all year long. be sure to do only things that make you happy and follow cardinal's rules for an awesome 2014:

• make sure all your laundry and housecleaning are done new year's eve day. who wants to be washing clothes and cleaning house all year?!
• do your cooking the day before, and be sure to cook the following: black~eyed peas (for luck), greens (for financial prosperity), and pork (because chickens scratch backwards, cows stand still, but pigs root forward guaranteeing you will move forward thru the new year).

                      

• nothing goes out of the house on new year's day, or you will be losing things all year long.
• fill up the cupboards, fridge, and freezer the day before. if the cupboards are bare you'll be starving all year.
• kiss someone you love at midnight to ensure affection all year long.
• set a dollar bill outside on new year's eve and bring it in new year's day. this will ensure you have money coming in all year.
• the first person that enters your home, on new year's, should be tall, dark, and good looking. no joke. so i will be sending the bk out the door at 11:59 and letting him walk in at midnight...

• open your doors at midnight, to let out all the bad from the past year. and noise. make a lot of loud noise to scare off evil spirits.

so. spend today doing all these things, while you watch the walking dead marathon on amc, and you will have a bright and shiny 2014!

happy new year!!

FLASHBACK 1988

REPEAT
"so help me if you can, i've got to get back to the house at pooh corner by one. you'd be surprised, there's so much to be done..." 

every morning dustin sees the commercial. a teddy bear that talks to you. a teddy bear that reads you stories. he wants one for christmas this year. the grandparents are looking for a great gift, so i tell them about teddy ruxpin. they rush out and buy one just for dustin. everyone is so excited for him to open his gift. he rips open the paper. he's so excited to see teddy. SO EXCITED!! until. he's so excited until teddy opens his mouth and talks. excitement immediately turns to terror. he will never turn teddy ruxpin on again.
FLASH FORWARD today
the teddy bear phenomenon goes back to teddy roosevelt. turns out old teddy was out hunting and was brought a bear cub. he just couldn't shoot the cub and it became known as "teddy's bear". of course, toy companies jumped on it, and the teddy bear became a staple in children's bedrooms. we all had a favorite. from winnie the pooh to paddington bear to care bears to teddy ruxpin. and, now, kids can even build their own bear at malls all over the country. teddy bears are also a source of comfort.  there are programs that provide teddy bears for kids in crisis, kids with cancer, and other worthy causes.
november 14 is national american teddy bear day. celebrate by donating a teddy bear to teddy bear cops program, stuffed animals for emergencies, toys for tots, or your local hospitals, churches, and homeless shelters.

              

 

                

                                      

SCRUMPTIOUS SATURDAY

"one potato...two potato...three potato...four..."

FLASHBACK november 5

mandatory friday night is coming...the "let's make a plan" email is going around. time? 6(ish). place? linksies. food? yes. we are grilling out...we don't even care that it's 30 degrees outside. it's byom (bring your own meat), byob (beverage), and a side to share. b has already said she's bringing deviled eggs. well boo...i've been dying for an excuse to make these again. so, yet again, i hit up pinterest, looking for the perfect side.

FLASH FORWARD mandatory friday

i decide on "crack potatoes", because...easy. and you can't go wrong with potatoes, cheese, and bacon.

CRACK POTATOES

ingredients:

2~ 16 oz containers of sour cream
2c cheddar cheese, shredded
2~ 3 oz bags real bacon bits
2 packages ranch dip mix
1 large bag (30 oz) frozen hash browns (shredded)

preheat oven to 400〫.  mix sour cream, cheese, bacon, and ranch dip mix in large bowl. stir in potatoes. spread evenly in 9X13 baking dish. bake for 60 minutes.
easy.

                     

PINTEREST SUCCESS!!

FLASHBACK long ago and far away

"i dream of jack o'lanterns...driving by these bat night skies...haunted by their lighted grins...i close my eyes, somethings reaching in"

a little history lesson:  ever look at your freshly carved pumpkin and say "i wonder where this tradition started?". well, i did the research so you don't have to...

first came the story of "stingy jack" (please listen to my tale with a thick irish brogue...k?).  stingy jack was an irishman who was very, shall we say, cheap. so one day, jack's strolling down the road and bumps into the devil. jack says "devil! have a pint with me!!" and the devil says sure. but jack has no money. he convinces the devil to turn himself into a coin to pay for the pints. remember how his name is STINGY jack? he decides to pocket the coin and skip out on the bill. the coin is next to a cross, so the devil is trapped, until jack says "devil. i'll let ya go if ya let me be for 1 year and spare me soul if i die" and the devil agreed. so, the next year, the devil's back. jack says "devil, i sure would love a taste of fruit before me punishment." so the devil agreed to climb a tree and get him the fruit. jack quickly carved the sign of the cross into the tree, trapping the devil. "devil. i'll let ya down but ya must agree to let me be for 10 more years and spare me soul if i die" and the devil agreed. jack soon died. god refused to let him into heaven...i mean, would you let a trickster like that into heaven?...and the devil, still mad about the tricks jack pulled (cuz old lucifer can dish it out but he can't take it) and true to his word (cuz what does a man have if he doesn't have his word?), refused to let jack into hell. the devil sent jack into the deep, dark night with only a burning coal to light his way. jack put the coal into a carved~out turnip and used it to light the way. and so began the legend of jack of the lantern.

people in ireland and scotland started making "jack's lantern" out of turnips and potatoes, carving scary faces into them and placing them in their windows to ward off evil spirits, including stingy jack. immigrants to america brought this tradition with them and found that pumpkins (which are native to america, by the way) were perfect.

FLASH FORWARD today
we americans love our jack o'lanterns. from carving, or painting, to purchasing pre-lit pumpkins, jack of the lantern is a halloween favorite.  and now you know why... (^^)

                    

 

                                            

not so MANIC MONDAY

 "trick or treat...trick or treat...the bitter and the sweet..."

FLASHBACK 1974
halloween. so much fun in oxnard. daddy spends the day getting the house ready for a party. an album with ghostly moans and groans plays in the background. dry ice, in an iron bucket, gives the house a fog~filled look. lil bro, queenie, and i. all dressed up for trick~or~treat. all the houses are decorated...some scarier than others. we get all the best treats. snickers. baby ruth. double bubble bubble gum. homemade cookies. and, my absolute favorite, popcorn balls!!!! mom and rikki get their wine glasses re~filled every other stop. perfect night.
FLASH FORWARD 1993
i take the kids to a carnival at school. cody had just seen "nightmare before christmas" and wants to be jack skellington. i work my tail off on his costume. it even includes jack's dog, zero, floating behind. he wins a costume contest and gets a gigantic snicker bar. i don't get pictures because i'll get them tomorrow night, with all the kids, when we go trick~or~treating. cody wakes up, the next morning. "i don't wanna be jack...i wanna be hong kong phooey." are you flippin kidding me right now?! fine. and i go about trying to make dog ears. "i don't wanna be hong kong phooey...i wanna be a ghostbuster". really?! i begin to make a proton pack. it's time to go now. cody comes out in his "barney" pajamas. ugh. he still gets the best treats. snickers. baby ruth. hubba bubba bubble gum. and homemade popcorn balls from a woman, EVERYBODY in town knows, who also offers pre~packaged candy just in case the parents are afraid she might have poisoned the popcorn. boo.
FLASH FORWARD 2009

oops! last year, i agreed to go trick~or~treating with emma. i'm a witch...she's my cat. back in july, she starts talking about what we'll be this year. i leave it completely up to her...as long as i get to be cute. the bk and i have a party after, and we're going as pirates. emma doesn't want to be a pirate. okay. i can still do this. emma calls me. "we are going as the scooby~doo gang. i'm daphne". that means...ummmmm...that means i have to be VELMA! velma is NOT cute. emma gets the best treats. snickers. baby ruth. hubba bubba bubble gum (why doesn't anyone give out double bubble anymore?). but gone are the homemade cookies. and gone, forever, are the homemade popcorn balls. 
for obvious reasons, october is halloween safety month. so, i have a few tips for you and your kids:

#1~costumes: wear well~fitting shoes, costumes, and masks. this will help avoid blocked vision, trips, and falls. swords, knives, should be short, soft, and flexible. also, there should be some reflective tape on bags and costumes...this will help drivers see you. and avoid walking near candles or luminaries so that your costume doesn't, accidentally, catch fire. and test any make~up you will use on a small area of skin. it would totally suck to remove the make~up , at the end of the night, only to find you were allergic to it the whole time. ugh. 
#2~trick~or~treating: go with a group or trusted adult. never ever ever go alone. carry a flashlight, to help others see you and to help you see. and walk, don't run. try to use sidewalks and crosswalks whenever possible. only go to well~lit houses, and never enter a home without a trusted adult. and don't forget about stranger danger! DO NOT ACCEPT RIDES FROM STRANGERS!!
#3~the treats: examine all treats before eating. look for choking hazards and tampering. if it's open, toss it. the cdc recommends only eating factory wrapped treats and avoiding homemade goodies made by strangers.

a bit of information about #3. there are millions of stories, told by your friends, that go kind of like this: my friend's sister's boyfriend's cousin's girlfriend's mom's friend's daughter's teacher's son *insert halloween urban legend here*. maybe it was poison popcorn balls, razor blade filled apples, drug laced pixie stix. i did a bit of research...the drug laced pixie stix actually happened, but, as it turns out, the father of the boy that died was the culprit. he murdered the boy, in 1974, for insurance money and made it appear to be a madman passing out the candy. the razor blades in the apples? kind of false. oh, there were reports. but no one was ever taken to the hospital with an injury. and, there is some question as to how the razor blades got there...even some reports say the parents, or child, may have done it as a hoax. so my advice here: although it's always better to err on the side of safety, don't flip out if your kid comes in eating a homemade popcorn ball you didn't realize they had. the chances that it's poisoned are really non~existent. 
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

a gallery of awesome halloween costumes:

  

               

 

                        

 

                          

 

                                            

A WEEK IN THE LIFE: INSTAGRAM EDITION

"photograph - all i've got is a photograph..."











okay...so it's, technically, two weeks in the life. but i've been busy. the past few weeks have seen visits from spawn (and a girlfriend)...haunted trails and hayrides...premiere parties...antique shopping...blood moons...and throwbacks...what's been good with you?

                                                                                                          

                                                                             ^awkward family photos at the haunts^

 ^as goth as a blond can get^

 ^memories for sale^

 ^antique bi~focals are all the rage^

 ^creepy cupids^

 ^always watching^

 ^throwbacks^

 ^blood moons^

                                                                                               ^(horror) flicks and football^

 ^reasons to watch walking dead^

^new must have^

HAPPY INSTAGRAMMING!!!

MANIC MONDAY

"when i say you're a pork chop, you best believe you're a pork chop..."

FLASHBACK yesterday
it's a typical sunday in the bird's nest. football. facebook. pinterest. lazy, lazy sunday. i decide it's the perfect time to test another recipe i find on pinterest.





EASY OVEN~BBQ PORK CHOPS

ingredients:

6 pork chops, ¾ to 1 inch thick
1 med onion, halved and thinly sliced
¼ c vinegar
¾ c water
1 tbs brown sugar
1 tbs worcestshire
½ c ketchup
1 tsp salt
¼ tsp salt





preheat oven to 350〫.  place chops in a 9X13 baking dish.  top with sliced onions. mix remaining ingredients in medium bowl and pour over chops. bake, uncovered, for 1 hour.

SUCCESS!!!

^with fresh corn and gralic mashed potatoes made with purple potatoes^

FLASH FORWARD today
it's monday. dinner is always boring on mondays. so throw these puppies in the oven and read a book for an hour. or, better yet, scroll thru pinterest and try your favorite recipes to see if they're a pinterest success or an epic fail!