SUNDAY COMICS

"do your boobs hang low? do they wobble to and fro? can you tie 'em in a knot? can you tie 'em in a bow?"

FLASHBACK 2007/08 (my sources are a little sketchy here because...well...they're raelians and that's just weird)

claude vorilhon...who prefers to be called rael because he is, in fact, the leader of the raelians (which are members of the ufo religion called the raelian movement...which, i think, requires a whole other blog post)...starts an annual event called "go topless". the idea is simple. women are being oppressed because it's illegal for them to walk around town topless even though they're male counterparts can do as they please. never-mind that women really don't want to see moobies. 

FLASH FORWARD today

tomorrow is women's equality day, celebrating the day women earned the right to do something ACTUALLY worth while...vote. so, today, there will be protests all over the country, in an attempt to get women another right. the right to bare breasts. women will be topless (although most will wear pasties because the don't want to get arrested) and men are encouraged to cover their moobs with pasties or bras. i will be at a baseball game. with my top on. why? because great american ballpark is NOT st tropez. 

now, if you are interested in going around your city showing off your tatas, you can check out gotopless.org for more information. personally, i believe we should protest men's right to bare chests because...let's face it...unless you're channing tatum, you should probably keep your shirt on. 

ps...if you choose to go topless today understand that i'm not judging you. unless you have disgusting moobies. then, i am. i am totally judging you. 

NO FLASHBACK just a great cold weather recipe

"beans beans...the musical fruit...the more you eat the more you..."
i look at all the amazing things that happen(ed) today...elvis week begins (in honor of the king's upcoming birthday on january 8), but i've already told you what big fans the bk and i are...it's national bird day, and we all know the importance of birds, but i just talked about the christmas bird count...marilyn manson turns 43 today but, somehow, i feel like i'm the only person that isn't scared by that...the sex pistols performed in the states for the first time, ditto what i said about marilyn manson...and, in 1956, snoopy walked on 2 legs for the first time (what?)...but, why would we want to celebrate ALL these things when we could celebrate one of the oldest forms of protein known to man. the bean. 
BONUS!!! it's such an easy, AND inexpensive, day to celebrate. how DO you celebrate national bean day, pray tell? you simply eat a bean dish! lima beans. baked beans. bean dips. fava beans. refried beans. kidney beans. green beans. garbanzo beans. navy beans. pinto beans. three bean salads. bean soups. green bean casserole. seriously? do i need to go on...and on...and on...and on? here are a couple recipes to get you started:

WHITE BEAN CHILI

ingredients:
2~15 oz cans great northern beans, drained 
4 c chicken broth
1 tbs olive oil
3 lb chicken breast (bone in)
1 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper
4 cloves garlic, chopped
1 onion chopped
2~4oz cans roasted green chiles, drained
1 c water
1tbs ground cumin

warm oil in skillet...season chicken with salt and pepper...place chicken, skin side down, in skillet and brown (4 minutes on one side, 2 minutes on other)...transfer chicken to plate and remove skin...in remaining chicken fat, cook onions and garlic until softened. in slow~cooker, combine beans, broth, garlic/onion mixture, chiles, water, and cumin...add chicken. cook on low about 4 hours. remove chicken, shred and add shredded chicken back to slow~cooker. serve.

BLACK BEAN AND CORN SALSA

ingredients:
1/4 c. sour cream
1~15 oz can black beans, drained and rinsed
1~15 1/4 oz whole kernel corn, drained
1 packet hidden valley fiesta ranch dip mix
2 c. fresh diced tomato (3 med)

prepare dip mix according to package directions. combine with sour cream, black beans, corn, and tomato. refrigerate 1 hour. serve with tortilla chips.

DOUBLE BONUS!! eating beans may reduce your risk of certain cancers...AND they are good for your heart...
and, if you have a certain little tune playing in your head and are concerned about that last line(?)...no worries...tomorrow is national pass gas day!
HAPPY EATING!!

                                            

^happy birthday elvis^

^happy birthday marilyn manson?^

^dance snoopy dance!^

FLASHBACK 1972

"cause he looks a lot like me...he looks a lot like me...a lot like me"
when i met queenie (on the school bus. when we were 6.) it was like looking in a mirror. blonde hair. blue eyes. same name. weird. we were twins. we could fool people. we could even fool our parents. a little bit. my own grandfather saw queenie, at the shopping center, and was mad that i was at there without them knowing. if you can fool your own grandpa...well...nuff said!
FLASH FORWARD 1980
kathy and i don't really look alike. at least, we don't think we do. okay. we are both blue-eyed. we are both 5'4". we both weigh 100 lbs. we are both blonde. but kathy is strawberry blonde. i am golden blonde. yet people can't tell us apart. what is UP with that?
FLASH FORWARD august 2009
queenie steps off the plane. what?!! why is she 6' tall? we don't look anything alike. and all this time i was certain my doppelganger was on the west coast.

i use "doppelganger" a lot. and people always ask me what the hell i'm talking about. well. a doppelganger is a paranormal double of a living person...they say everybody has one. usually, your doppelganger is evil. so, i guess i'm sort of using the word in the wrong context. i don't care. i love that word. i love the idea that everybody has a twin. whether or not they're evil. or paranormal. 
i have run across a lot of doppelgangers in my life. the earliest one: everybody in school (i. mean. every. body) thought my mom was florence henderson. it had to be the shag haircut both were famous for. had to be. which one is the evil twin, you ask? well. lana will tell you it's florence. and, history will tell you, that the rich and famous usually got that way by selling their souls to the devil. evil. but me. what do I think? yeah. lana's the evil one. i've heard her on the phone with telemarketers so i KNOW what i'm talking about. 
have you met your doppleganger? has anyone ever told you they saw you at the mall, grocery, airport, and you hadn't left your house in a week? and which one is the evil one? you or your doppelganger? 
                        

 ^me and kat:not doppelgangers^

                    

 ^my parents have doppelgangers for sure!^

^jamie and vincent d'onofrio: doppelgangers^

^noah and phillip phillips: doppelgangers^

^kat and gaga: doppelgangers!!^