A WEEK IN THE LIFE: INSTAGRAM EDITION

"snapshot image froze without a sound..."

i've learned a few things in the past week, like: never leave your dishes for the next morning; dogs will protect you from zombie cats; and starbucks refreshers are delicious, low~cal, refreshing (duh doy, it's in the name) treats...

^my morning...every morning^

^early morning disaster^

^first pumpkin ale of the season AND cool label^

^her icing melted but it was still delicious^

^the boys of fall^

^my new favorite thing^

^hydration is important^

^almost the end of summer vegetables^

^stay away from her, she's a zombie^

^shadow dancing^

HAPPY INSTAGRAMMING!!

A WEEK IN THE LIFE: INSTAGRAM EDITION

"shake it, shake, shake it, shake it like a polaroid picture..."











the past week has been all about good food, baseball, romantic walks, friendship, and pineapples.

^when pizza is healthy^

^riverboats on the ohio^

^a cardinal and her bk^

^ducks on a pond^

^haunted riverboats...it's a thing^

^big brother is watching you^

^beer and cookies are a good thing^

^everything is better in a pineapple glass^

^it was a hot and sunny day at the reds' game^

^yellow watermelon...a delicious and healthy treat^

happy instagramming!!

IT'S FRIDAY, I'M IN LOVE

 "take off your shoes and throw them away...come back and get them another day...we're barefootin'"
FLASHBACK 1965
like every other baby, i am born barefoot.
FLASH FORWARD 1970 something
maybe...MAYBE...my parents will say different, but i hate shoes. i only remember wearing shoes when i had to. obviously, i wore them to school...or the mall...or in the snow. 
FLASH FORWARD today
i am still barefoot as much as possible. and i am not a fan of shoes. when other women are excited for that cute new pair of pumps...or sandals...or boots....i'm just like "whateva". i have shoes. i have some cute shoes. i have cute shoes because the bk said "i like these, you should get them". or because, when i go to work, the boss is all "really, you have to wear shoes. it's the rules". if i want to be barefoot and they won't let me in the restaurant, or store, or movie theater, i wear flip flops. which is an awful lot like being barefoot. 
there are health benefits to being barefoot:

• it helps stretch and strengthen muscles and tendons in your feet and ankles, using muscles that aren't used when wear shoes. this can help prevent knee strain and back problems. 
• it frees your mind. while you're focused on avoiding sharp rocks, sticks, and thorns, your mind is clear of everyday problems and anxieties. 
• bumps and rocks can stimulate reflex points in your feet, basically a free foot massage!

                           

but, if you're going to go barefoot, you're going to want those babies to be gorgeous. follow these steps for a perfect, at home, pedicure:

1. remove any old polish and soak your feet in a warm salt bath for 10 minutes. sally hansen has some good options...
2. trim your nails straight across, making sure they are about even with the top of your toes, and round edges with an emory board.
3. rub a pumice stone over callused spots. next, rub in an exfoliating scrub (try bliss super slough scrub available at sephora) and rinse with warm water.
4. rub on a moisturizer like kiss my face foot creme. wipe toe nails with a cotton swab to remove any lotion from nails.
5. pick your fave color and paint those piggies. start in the center, at the cuticle and brushing up, finishing at the sides. apply 2 coats of color and a top coat. 

i would do this tonight while your relaxing in front of the tv because tomorrow (june 1) is national go barefoot day!!!

FLASHBACK summer of 1979

"every bond you break every step you take...i'll be watching you..."
i ride my bike across town to meet up with my joyce court girls. every day. and, every day, i pass the same places...the dairy treat...the car wash...the race track. and, every day, i see the same familiar faces. now kat and i are walking back to my house. we've stopped in town and said hi to mama...we've gotten some rock candy at the village ice cream parlor...we are thinking about going to the y. a jeep pulls up. a strange man is telling me i'm pretty. kat and i joke about how creepy he is. we see him the next day. and the day after that. and the day after that. he doesn't know my name. he calls me michigan...i am wearing my lil bro's michigan jersey (sorry bridgette...it was a temporary lapse in judgement).
FLASH FORWARD summer of 1980
it starts all over again. only this time he thinks my name is kathy??? oooohhhh!!!! i'm wearing kat's shirt and her name is on the back!!! ugh!! YOU are such a CREEP!!!
FLASH FORWARD summer of 1981
yep. he's baaaccckkk!! but kat sees him at the car wash. we avoid going by there. he still finds us...walking to my house...walking around colony square...walking to see my mama.
FLASH FORWARD summer of 1982
i have my driver's license. he can't bother me anymore. i'm not stupid...i NEVER take the car to his car wash.

FLASH FORWARD october 2012
the bk gets a phone call from someone he dated. we don't think anything of it. a few weeks later, he is out of town on business and i get a call from a blocked number. just breathing and hang up. i think someone is trying to scare me. it doesn't work in the middle of the day, moron, try it again later!! it happens again the next day. hello? jacka$$...remember how we're adults now? ha! 
FLASH FORWARD november 2012
an "unverified text" comes thru. whoever this person is, they want to date the bk again. what? i don't know who you are, but you aren't very smart...you added your phone number to the text! i forward the message to the bk and after some sleuthing...the bk could put sherlock holmes to shame...we identify the culprit. bk sends a strongly worded text "blah blah blah...leave us alone...blah blah blah...we will get the police involved if necessary...blah blah blah". of course she responds "i don't know what you're talking about...blah blah blah...*insert crazy bish psychobabble here*...". we block her number. she won't be bothering us again. i still have questions: how did she get MY number? does she know where we live? is she just a little koo koo bananas? or is she charlie manson psychotic?

^not the ACTUAL text^

FLASH FORWARD today
in the '70s and '80s, they didn't have a name for it. we were told stories about men in vans offering candy and puppies to small children...but creeping on teenage girls as they walk thru town? that didn't happen...it did, we just didn't talk about it. now it's called stalking...AND it's against the law. january is national stalking awareness month. here are some important facts you should know about stalking:

• 1 in 4 women, and 1 in 13 men, have reported being a victim of stalking in their lifetime.
• the majority of stalking victims are stalked by someone they know.
• 1 in 5 females, and 1 in 14 males, experience stalking between the ages of 11 and 17.
• 2/3 of stalkers pursue their victims at least once per week.
• stalking is a crime in all 50 states, although, less than 1/3 classify it as a felony for first offenders.
• the fear of not knowing what may happen causes anxiety, insomnia, and time lost from work.
•  54% of femicide (the act of murdering a woman) victims reported stalking to the police before being murdered by their stalkers.
• technology has made it easier than ever for stalkers to harass their victims. facebook, twitter, email, and texting are all ways to contact the victim. 

what can you do to protect yourself? the national center for victims of crime suggests: 

• a safety plan that includes a log of all contact...emails, texts, phone calls, gifts...to be used as evidence
• have a phone nearby at all times
• treat all threats seriously and contact police
• vary your routine: routes to work/school, when/where you shop, and limit time spent alone.
• get a new, unlisted, number...but leave the old number active and allow all calls to go to voice mail for screening (and evidence).
• consider getting a restraining order.
• DO NOT interact with your stalker.
• trust your instincts. if you don't feel safe, find a way to make your location safe or leave. 

don't be a victim...arm yourself with knowledge!

resources:

national stalking awareness month

victimsofcrime.org

stalking information for teens

a few months have passed, and no contact from koo koo bananas ex~girlfriend...oops! bk insists "she was NOT my GIRLFRIEND"...her number is blocked, but we haven't run into her at any local hot spots, she hasn't tried to contact us thru email or facebook or twitter...it's safe to say that's over. and my high school stalker? kat and i finally learned his name (10 years later) and it's safe to say that, 30 years later, he won't recognize me. and if he does, he'll call me buckeye...cuz i will never EVER be seen in a michigan jersey!

FLASHBACK january 2007

^2009 and 2012^

"it's a new dawn...it's a new day...it's new life..."
we have our annual new year's eve oyster roast. my ex~brother in~law is taking pics of everybody. two weeks later he gives me pics of my family. who is this fat chick drinking a yeungling and wearing my shades? OMG!!! that's me!!! i am embarrassed. i feel disgusting. and i vow to do something about it. i join weight watchers on line the very next day. i track every single piece of food i put in my mouth. the points values become second nature. i know what to order at fast food restaurants. i save my bonus points for the weekend so that i can go out and have a beer or two and not feel guilty.
FLASH FORWARD january 2008
i am down 30 pounds. i feel better and i am excited. i am not an "exercise class" kind of gal. i like to do things at my own pace, and having to go at a scheduled time would drive me nuts. i buy wii fit. now i start exercising every day. my way. on my time. plus, it keeps track of my weight for me. and i love that the little wii character i create loses or gains weight as i do.
FLASH FORWARD january 2009
i have lost another 30 pounds. i stop paying for weight watchers because i know what i can eat. and i continue working out with the wii fit.
FLASH FORWARD september 2009
i've moved in with the bk. i leave the wii fit behind...the wii belonged to the boys. but i start walking with my sister in~law. we walk 8 miles, 3 days a week.
FLASH FORWARD november 2009
the weather turns colder. my sister in~law gets a job. and the holidays start. it seems like the bk and i are at a party every night. slowly, my weight begins to creep back up.
FLASH FORWARD today
i haven't gained ALL the weight back. i have started and stopped weight watchers a few times and that has helped keep it from getting too out of control. but i KNOW i need to do something before it does. so, like millions of other americans, i have made a new year's resolution. to lose weight? nope. to be healthier. so, in our nest, gone are the processed foods. gone are cans of vegetables, replaced by FRESH, seasonal veggies. gone are white rice and white pastas, replaced by brown rice and whole wheat pastas. and out comes the wii and wii fit the bk bought me. and the walks resume, weather permitting. my goal? be healthier. be fitter. without worrying what the scale says. without worrying about the number on the tag of my jeans.
but how will you keep this resolution, you ask? and what if your resolution didn't have anything to do with weight? studies show that 88% of new year's resolutions fail. so we all could use a little help keeping them. and fortunately...there's an app for that...

• lose it by fit now : i, personally, use and love lose it...simply enter your weight and desired weight, and the rate you want to lose (lose it will not ALLOW you to lose more than 2 pounds per week, which is considered a healthy rate). lose it will then tell you how many calories a day you can consume. you eat what you want...enter it in lose it...and the app keeps track of your calories! *don't forget to track your exercise, as well. you need to consume the calories lose it set for you...any you burn during exercise need to be replenished or you risk losing weight too fast.* lose it is free although there is an upgrade available.
• my last cigarette by mastersoft mobile solutions: so you want to quit smoking? this app is designed to help you do just that. enter your smoking habits and the app will inform you of how you're bettering your life through quitting. it will tell you how your lung function has improved since you quit...how many deaths, from smoking, since you quit...your increase in life expectancy. it will, also, provide you a daily motivational quote or medical fact. this app is not free...it costs a mere 99 cents.
• best budget by maxwell software: face it...we all need to get ahold of our finances from time to time. this app lets you create budgets, view reports to see how you're doing, even set up budget reminders. i just downloaded this app...it's free and received 4 out of 4 stars. 

GOOD LUCK AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

                                 

^lose it^

                             

^my last cigarette^

                         

^best budget^

FLASHBACK 1967~70 (ish)

 "when god created the universe, he pulled out all the stops...first, he created all mankind...then she created shops..."
random weekday. mama loads me and lil bro in the car and into town we go. she gets her hair done...we crawl around on the floor and get a coke, in a glass bottle, for a quarter (or something insanely cheap like that). then we stop at the martinette to pick up the dry cleaning...we get a handful of chicklets for a penny. last stop? kaufman's for new clothes for somebody...i didn't care for who, i just liked going...and hugs from all the sales people.
FLASH FORWARD 1982 (ish)
every wednesday. mama's day off. gather up the empty pepsi bottles and take them to the iga...mama cashes them in and we get groceries for the week. i need a jacket for school. off we go to bashford's to pick up my varsity jacket. and my new saddle shoes. and EVERY pair of shorts or tee shirt i will need for cheerleading.
FLASH FORWARD today
bashford's is gone. kaufman's is gone. many of the places i remember going as a child or teenager are gone. maybe the owners just wanted to retire...or maybe they couldn't compete with malls and chain stores. or the internet. in their place are new small businesses. a few seem to be making it. some store fronts...and names...seem to change as fast as the weather. it breaks my heart.
friday...most everyone will be at the mall. or wal~mart. or target. or *insert big chain store here*. monday...people will sit at their computers and search out great online deals (more on cyber monday in a later post). but in between...in between is SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY. a day set aside to peruse the shelves of your local small business. maybe it's an antique store. a unique home furnishings boutique. a place to purchase great gifts and craft beers. my suggestions to you? this saturday, take a few hours and walk the brick sidewalks of lebanon, oh. grab a vera bradley bag or crabtree and evelyn lotions from oh suzanna. purchase a unique gift or home furnishing from pink hippo. check out the antiques at the broadway antique mall. grab a frozen custard at whit's. and then stop in at the paddock for a craft beer or wine. we should be shopping small businesses everyday. not just one day out of the year....

                     

                

       

         

 

ps...you say you want to start your day with a mani/pedi, spray tan, and new 'do? check out the girls at hair~n~now salon and day spa!!

FLASHBACK 2009

"forget about forgetting...start remembering again..."
jeanne and i walk 3 days a week. monday. wednesday. friday. rain or shine. we start at my place one day. hers the next. we log at least 8 miles. lebanon is hilly, so we are really getting a work out. we come home winded and sweaty. this day is no different except for one thing....when we get to my apartment and run up the stairs, thirsty AND needing the bathroom...we can't get in. i've locked my keys inside. ugh. fortunately, jamie has a spare key in his truck (because this is not the first time...of course). at king's island. so jeanne drives me to his truck...it has keyless entry...i grab the key and we're in. phew.
FLASH FORWARD spring 2012
i walk 5 days a week. i put in my earbuds and crank up the music and walk. i only go 2 miles each day (it's boring without your partner...boo). this day is no different except for one thing...when i get back to the house i can't get in. i've locked my key inside. ugh. jamie's truck is at the shop...5 miles away. remember how i said i don't have a partner? there is no one to drive me to the shop and i am exhausted (i am only walking 2 miles but i'm doing it for time...i am practically running). i check all the windows within reach...locked. maybe i left the back door unlocked? nope. i'm nothing if not conscious of keeping out potential robbers...or zombies...or velociraptors (remember how they can open doors? i learned THAT from jurassic park). there is one hope. the back window. it's unlocked but it's 8~10 feet off the ground. but i'm clever. i pull the motorcycle trailer out from under the deck. i roll down the bar to make it level, but our yard is on a hill so it's still not level enough, so i prop it with the lawn mower. a small step ladder on top and i'm set. sort of...i get the window open, but i'm short. so in come the gymnastic skills i learned as a kid. i mary lou retton myself onto the window frame and throw myself, head first, into the dining room. TAH DAH!!!!!
FLASH FORWARD october 2012
our new apartment is very safe. deadbolt and chain for our door. and the entry to the building automatically locks. i take maddie out 45000 times a day, starting at 7:30a. today is no different except...when i get to the "potty station" i realize something very important. I FORGOT MY KEYS!!!!! i text jamie "i locked myself out!" j: are you serious? m: yep :'( j: i have keys here m: you're at work. j: is the apartment locked? or just the building? m: just the building. CRAP!!!! i head back to the building, debating about which neighbor might be home. or awake...i would hate to wake a sleeping neighbor that i don't even know. a man is getting in his car. thank gawd!! he unlocks the building and now i am safely in my apartment. i will never ever EVER forget my keys again.
everybody knows...EVERYBODY KNOWS...i will forget my keys. again.